Hi - I am the new Amanda - with an inspiring story to share.

[thenewamanda]

I'm Amanda. I just turned 30 this year. Last year, right before my 29th birthday, I was about 270 pounds (my heaviest yet), suffering from years of depression, severe anxiety, stress, constant muscle pain. But all of that I had gotten used to. And then, one day I couldn't breathe. I was downtown, shopping, I took a breath, and it wouldn't go in. In my usual not-wanting-to-draw-attention manner, instead of calling an ambulance I got on the bus and took a ride to the ER, where I eventually relaxed (after 10 hours) and thought, everything's fine. It's just anxiety. And then the doctor came and saw me out in the hallway and said, "you have a giant tumor."

That was the day everything changed. I was 28. With a rare form of cancer growing out of my ribcage, threatening my heart, lungs, and the rest. I had to be booked for surgery right away, had to leave my new job, apply for welfare, and then undergo massive open-chest surgery that left me feeling depressed, weak, and disabled by pain. Everyone told me I had nothing to complain about, that I should be happy to be alive. Happy the surgery went so well. Happy I was a cancer survivor. But I wasn't happy. I was pissed off! I had new pain! Constant bone pain! Couldn't sleep through the night! Mad about the cancer. None of my friends had cancer, none of my friends had to have their ribcages sawed apart. I couldn't move as well as I had before. The tumor was so big it had damaged a major nerve and now I only had one functioning lung. I gained weight. I ate more emotionally than ever before - bread, cake, and more bread. I was suicidal. I thought about the fact that this was it, that I had permanently damaged my life, and that I should just end it to prevent further suffering and humiliation. I thought about that a lot. I cut myself off from the world. I was irritable. I was destroying relationships. No one wanted to be around me. I was miserable. I started getting shingles on a semi-regular basis. That was the breaking point for me. And then, one night, this last month, I spent a good amount of the night in a fever from a shingles outbreak, having nightmares and strange thoughts, and somewhere in the middle of it, a voice told me, "you need to eat raw food."

It was, as I relate the story to others, a revelation. I didn't know much of anything about raw food - but how difficult could it be? That next day, I emptied out my fridge and cupboards and went shopping for new foods. I read a lot online to figure out what I should do. But it was pretty simple, really - apples, salad, nuts, seeds, dark greens, berries - I'm not an idiot, so I figured out pretty quickly what was and wasn't raw. And in that first week, I ate more produce than I had in the whole year. Maybe two. And a magical thing happened. Well really a whole many magical things.

I started losing weight. I'm still losing almost a pound a day.
I sleep like a baby.
My skin - which was always pretty great - feels A-mazing. I actually make people touch it so they can see for themselves.
I feel happy! For the first time in about 20 years, I feel really joyously happy. I laugh freely. I smile all the time. (It's still weird but I'm adapting.)
I have my period again for the first time in 2 or 3 years. My doctors told me it was the birth control, that it was normal, but I always thought otherwise.
I'm not irritable like I used to be. I don't get angry over all the little things. I'm not a bitch who others find depressing to spend time with.
I'm not swearing a lot anymore, which is a little detail but I think it's worthwhile noting. I'm using positive language that I never did before: "magical", "amazing", "wonderful".
I am letting go of grudges. I want to make connections and reconnect with old friends. I want to get going with this vibrant life that I new I was destined for.
I have physical energy! All of the sudden, I'm no longer out of breath, I can walk for blocks without tiring or stopping, and I want to do things like kayak, or run, or hike mountains.
Most amazingly of all, my pains are GONE. My chest doesn't hurt. My years of back pain are gone. My neck doesn't ache.

I am on the right path. I can't wait to see what next month brings, and the month after that, and the next. I bought myself a nice dehydrator and a nice mandoline, and I am spending time making delicious meals again. I've stopped drinking altogether, which is fine because alcohol never liked me much, and I wake up at 6 am every morning, raring to go. I don't even mind that I hate my job, because I know that I am going to make amazing changes happen in my life in the near future, and I don't have to feel anxious or obsessive about this weight loss because it is happening so freely.

Well I could go on forever but I've got other things to do with all of this energy. I hope to make some connections with some of you, and thanks for reading all of this.

[snoops]

Wow - that is a really inspirational story. Welcome and good luck on your path of healing. Sounds like you are already there.

[amoux]

Hi Amanda - really great story. Wishing you continued success on your path, and look forward to hearing how it goes :-)

[R'Mila]

Welcome! What a heart-warming experience. I look forward to learning more about you and your journey.

[MysticTree]

Welcome to rft.

You have a wonderful story to share and I am so happy for you that you've found the right path.

[Dimond]

Wonderfully inspiring story, Amanda. I wish you continued success with raw & everything else.

You're on a great path. If you aren't already, adding spiritual practices such as meditation, yoga, etc. can really help expand your life and keep you on a good path. You can even combine the activities you do now with spiritual practices as movement is the perfect way to do that.

[Conscious Midwife]

Thanks for sharing your RAWmazing story!
NAMASTE

[thenewamanda]

Wonderfully inspiring story, Amanda. I wish you continued success with raw & everything else.

You're on a great path. If you aren't already, adding spiritual practices such as meditation, yoga, etc. can really help expand your life and keep you on a good path. You can even combine the activities you do now with spiritual practices as movement is the perfect way to do that.

Dimond, thank you. I totally agree with you. Right now I have acupuncture on Thursdays and massages every Tuesday, both of which are very meditative and healing, but they are both passive practices and I am trying to find a yoga class that I'll enjoy.

[thenewamanda]

And thank you to the rest of you for the warm welcome! I don't have any raw friends in my real life to share my excitement with and there is so much community and inspiration to be found here, I think :)

[amoux]

I don't have any raw friends in my real life to share my excitement with and there is so much community and inspiration to be found here, I think :)

I totally agree with you - I'd be driving my DH crazy if I didn't have this community where I can share my fascination and delight :-)

[Dagelinckx]

Thank so much for your story it is giving me a feeling that I need to continue on raw myself I already doing this since Dec. last year and feeling better and better I'm sure you will keep feeling the same way as me and many others here on the forum can verify this.

Welcome and keep us updated on the progress of your journey.

[thenewamanda]

Just a short update...

I quit my job about a week after that first post - I am still unemployed but not too anxious about it because I know something good will happen soon! I am down 38 pounds and just ordered an Omega 8006 juicer so I can do some juice fasting - after watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead I was very inspired. When I get to a weight where I start feeling comfortable with myself I will post some before and after shots. I still have a long way to go but am very happy with the progress I am making.

New thoughts:
When I eat 100% raw, the skin on my face feels like a baby's. When I eat anything else, it feels a little rough again. I actually broke out this last weekend with a couple pimples but then spent the day eating really well and the next morning they were gone!
I wonder if there are toxins coming out of the fat through my skin because my skin is breaking out (not my face, but on my body) much more that I am used to. I try to drink a LOT of water to ensure that I am flushing out toxins that are being released.
I am 30 and got ID'ed this last week (the legal age here is 19) trying to buy a lottery ticket by a young woman in her early 20's who said, "that's not fair - your hair is nicer than mine!" That got a smile from me - I don't do anything to my hair but it does look pretty healthy! My nails too. And my face looks healthy and pink, not pale as I was used to.
I'm not so interested in makeup anymore, and I think it has something to do with being more comfortable in my own skin, but also that my face looks so much healthier that I don't think I need it. I also stopped using antipersperant and managed to switch over to a locally made, all natural deodarant. I was nervous about it but I find that it's okay unless I work up a sweat, in which case I smell like - shocking! - sweat. It's not so bad. :)

Thanks to everyone for your support.

[buffalogal]

Amanda - You are already an inspiration to many!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Keep up the great work! And please keep us posted! We are ALL pulling for you!!

[amoux]

Wonderful weight loss Amanda - and it sounds like you're seeing lots of other benefits already. Crossing my fingers that a really great job comes up for you soon. You're such an inspiration - keep on rawkin' girl

[thenewamanda]

buffalogal - I don't feel like an inspiration (yet) - but I'm always too hard on myself, lol. I am getting there!

amoux - Thank you! I had a great interview yesterday and I will keep you guys updated...