A new awakening!
This is my new awakening.
I do not eat raw food, I AM A RAWFOODIST.
Now exactly what is the difference?
Okay, so exactly what is total intention?
A burning desire deep inside my soul.
Or at least, it is to me.
You see, I have been going through a really horrendous detox/menopause/cramping/painfilled/blood-everywhere/refuse-to-go-to-doctor thingy for almost 3 weeks now.
Is my hubby worried?
Not in the least.
He knows that I will do what ever it takes to heal my body, even if it looks like torture.
You see, I weighed 285 pounds at 5'3" tall on January 19, 2005, my blood preasure was at "death over dying" 279/179 (yes, death!!)
and I woke up one day, "knowing" in my soul that if I wanted to live another year, that I needed to make a BIG change, and that I was a raw foodist.
Now, I've had slip ups, I've had cravings, I've surely had detox, and yet I know all I have to do is to take some cooked food, and all the detox will go away, and I'll feel better albeit if only for a few hours, so why don't I do that?
Because abusing my addictive substance will never allow me to totally heal.
I am a rawfoodist, I am not just eating raw food to lose weight.
You see, I know I will lose weight eating raw food, but that is not why I am doing it, the weight loss will happen exactly as it is supposed to happen, if it happens as it went on, I'll be thin in about 40 years, LOL
But seriously, I don't eat raw food because I want to accomplish anything, I don't see my lifestyle as anything I am giving up.
I so often see people who want to eat just a little cooked food, I say, "for what purpose?" I would guess it is the taste, but that's not it, we all know that raw food tastes much better. It isn't how it makes us feel, well, not in the long run anyway, it isn't how it makes us look, it is the addiction monster talking, trying to convince us to take one little bite.
But it never stops at one little bite, it usually doesn't even stop at one meal, or one day, or even one week.
Not for me.
I "KNOW" that when I eat something not raw, that I have taken a leap off the cliff of safety, that I have decided to jump off the mountain, and plunge to my impending doom. Because to eat cooked food would indead mean doom to me.
I have lost 40+ pounds and my blood pressure is 120/60 actually normal.
Now, if I had gone to some doctor and told him that in only 7 short months I could cure my "death" blook preasure down to actually normal and be happy and healthy doing it, he would have probably laughed at me, given me a big expensive perscription, and told me to come in and see him every week until I was better. Which would, in turn, require more expensive and dangerous perscriptions to counter-act all the side affects of the first one. And a never ending downslide in my bank account and health would have begun.
I know that living means eating raw, and although I may be going through a very rough detox, I need to truly look at how beautiful this is. I mean I put my body through Hell for 52 years, and here I am finally "getting it" that it IS my body, my mom isn't feeding me any more, my grandma isn't feeding me, and neither is my old boss, or old boyfriends, no one is putting food in my mouth except me.
And ONLY I can choose what I want to eat forever.
I do not smoke, if I walked by someone smoking and I inhaled, I would not think of myself as a smoker, if for some reason, I were to take that cigarette into my mouth and inhale, (after coughing my lungs out) I still would not be a smoker, becoming a smoker would take a heck of a lot more cigarettes than just that one puff, or that one cigarette, or that one pack, so even if I decided that I wanted to eat something cooked, I still would be a rawfoodist.
And being a raw foodist, instead of simply eating raw food, makes my life's path truly crystal clear in front of me.
Blessings to all of you on this board, for allowing me to be who I am.
Glad you are now a raw foodist. Thanks for writing this. Did you do the tree of life survey? It really opened my eyes to me, who I am, and where I'm going. However you reached that point, you are there too. I'd like to be able to reach out and take all your pain. We truly do reap what we sow. Right now you are sowing vibrant healthy life. Eventually that's exactly what you will reap.
Originally Posted by rawpriestess
THANK YOU for holding up a mirror so I can see myself more clearly. Your posts have always had that effect on me.
May the rest of your detox pass quickly. :)
Angie <- I AM A RAWFOODIST
Doe and Angelandarose, Thank you for your always kind and loving words.
Many blessings to you both,