"That's fine for you, but not those kids..."
This is what a "well-meaning" friend of ours told my husband as she loaded him down with bags and boxes of "food" (nuggets, canned chili, a ham, Jimmy Dean sausage, popcorn, etc.)! I'm assuming he was sharing with them how we eat these days. She is one who told a parent who said her child doesn't like milk that if he comes to her daycare, he has to drink milk (I guess it would have been different had she said he was allergic to it).
Then she says to him (my dh) that they need things that are...brace yourselves now...NUTRITIOUS and that will stick to their bones
I am kinda fuming right now because she like FORCED this food on him. So, he asked me what he should do with it and I told him he can take it to his brother's house. I mean, I really hate to give that garbage to anyone but they eat like that anyway...I don't know. He then asks me what about when she asks us if we gave the kids the food and I told him let ME deal with that. I will NOT be bullied into feeding my kids crap by her or anyone and like I told him, if she wants to make a big stink over it, I have no qualms about cutting her out of our lives. I mean, she and her family lives 30 miles away, they weren't intrical parts of our lives for the 6 years we were away from Washington, so it won't be a big deal.
I mean, I hope it doesn't come to that, but I am not going to allow her to put that kind of pressure on me.
Sorry, had to vent.
I'm sure you are just burning!!!! But then we know that she is just not informed. Well she is informed, but just not with the right information. Hopefully some time will pass between now and the next time you see the friend so you'll have the chance to calm down and making it easier to explain to her the differences of the nutrition in the foods she gave you and the nutrition in live, raw foods. Sounds like she was really trying to be helpful in the only way she knows. You'll just have to gently start to educate her. My husband is slowly starting to see the light. He couldn't wait until our grandson was old enough so that he could feed him meat. Now he's starting to understand. It could take a while, but do give her a chance to learn the difference . . . you do have to admit that eating raw is very strange to many people (kind of like a cult). Looks like you may have your work cut out for you. Let's hope she's receptive.
<>< Helen of Tennessee
Originally Posted by Helen Of Tennessee
Yeah, I do need time to calm down before I even think about talking to her, otherwise it might not be pretty. I'm just glad she didn't call me on the phone tonight!
But honestly, knowing "Miss Mary" (that's what all the daycare kids call her) she is NOT going to try to hear me because Miss Mary knows everything!
I mean, she just saw my kids a few weeks ago and was commenting how my 2-year old was pretty big for 2. So she can clearly see that he is eating nutritious foods that "stick to his bones".
But again, thank you for your calming words. I called my husband's cell and he's at my brother-in-laws' dropping off the "food".
Even when you talk to her and she isn't responsive, at least you have planted a seed. Someone else may talk to her about nutrition (raw foods). Each time she hears it, from different people, she's more apt to start "thinking" about it. Maybe she'll do her own research then she can "know everything" that there is to know about raw foods.
Just don't discourage if you feel what you share with her is going in one ear and out the other. Just know you planted your seed.
You said she's a daycare worker. Does she watch your children? I'd be a little hesitant in fear that she would try to feed your children foods that you don't want them to have.
<>< Helen of Tennessee
Oh no no no...she doesn't watch my children. She's too far away even if we did want her to. But you're right about the planting of the seed. It's so interesting too. Her husband has been sick off and on and when we went to see her, she was limping around and she is kinda "sickly" looking which is sad to me. But she feels "that's all a part of getting old" unfortunately.
Hopefully I will be able to help them if/when the opportunity presents itself.
I am sorry this is happening to you. Please take measures now to protect your family. Most people haven't a clue about nutrition and health. Unfortunately a person who will force food on someone may try stronger tactics. Especially if she has ¬Ďauthority¬í over other people¬ís children and believes she has a ¬Ďresponsibility¬í to report what she sees as neglect.
I know you just moved. Did you bring your children's past medical records with you? With recent, and not so recent, events here in the US concerning children and raw foods it may be the course of wisdom to have their records. Also please take them to a Dr for a wellness checkup now and on an annual basis. Having documented proof that your children are being well cared for and are physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy will serve as a protection.
Might be a good time to communicate with Jinjee and see if she has any advice. Victoria Boutenko would be another. I do not suggest that you teach your children to lie, but I don't condemn her for it either. However I would NOT communicate in any way with the family in south Florida since at the moment they are considered by the law to be criminals. Association with known criminals would count against you.
I will be thinking about you and praying for you and your hubby to be successful in safeguarding your family¬ís health through raw foods, home schooling, and gaining any knowledge needed at the time to keep you all together, happy, and in peace.
Thanks so much Doe!
Yes, the thought did occur to me about her possibly reporting us and I will take your advice about the wellness visits and records just to be on the safe side because that could get sticky if she did blow the whistle on us.
But if/when she ever does get around to asking me about our kids' diets, I'll just tell her they eat:
Because they DO...just raw-style! ;) That's something I also explained to my husband is that we tend to present our diet to others by making it seem as though they just run around nibbling on fruit and veggies (NOT that there's anything wrong with that) but when talking to those who are well-versed in the system, we have to paint a "different" picture under certain circumstances to avoid the heat. Sadly, but true!
Smart woman. Most anything can be said, or not said, in an honest way. Hmmm ... you might add meatloaf and burgers or something else that would fit into that 'necessary' food group, to back up the spaghetti.
Ohhh, tooo funny! I can see you fumin' Cherie. People are something else, aren't they? They want people to do as they do and eat as they do ~ anything else scares them.
Well, I think you're handling it just right. Remember ~ you can't teach pigs to sing. You'll just irritate the pig and frustrate yourself.
Have a blessed day ~
Lol - I'm so amused by this because my parents have repeatedly expressed concern that I cannot be eating a balanced diet, since going high%-raw. It's just so absurd to hear that from them when they happily sit down and eat icecream, white bread and crisps on a daily basis, and taking little care to obtain essential fats etc. or substantial quantities of greens and fruits.
Each to their own, but at least they don't foist their food choices upon me as your neighbour did on your husband, well though she meant it. She's a victim of cultural indoctrination just as much as the rest of the general populace, though, so please don't be too hard on her, provided she respects your standpoint once you have clearly explained it to her, and the background behind it. If she still opposes the way you feed your children, then (IMHO) would be the time to turn your back on her.
Please tell me that you were not storming around, having a smoke rising from your head like a little smoke stack, and daring your DH to even open his mouth to retort anything that has been said.
You do realize that you have proven how serious you are about this lifestyle, and what lengths you will go to, as a mother lion who is protecting her cubs. Watch out there now!!! Cherie is on the scene and is large and in charge!
It is unfortunate that this woman is blinded by her own information and not open to further growth - fear not, hold your peace, this battle is not yours and be cool with it that it is not. Now, Cherie, don't smack her okay!
This reminds me of when my kids were young. I always had my kids eating healthy. Everyone around me would stick their nose into what they were fed. I finally got all the kids matching t-shirts that said "Don't feel me junk food". They wore them to my Mothers and Sisters house lol
Well even though you'd like to smack her (which I would, for sure) you may want to psychologically hurt her with drippingly sweet kindness. Something like "oh, thank you so much for all that food - my brother's family is really enjoying it". Ha - what could she say?
I guess if she persists, you can always tell her that "oh, I'm sorry, we don't put that *kind* of food in our bodies, but can I interest you in some fruit to snack on while you're here?"....who knows, that would either royally tick her off or peak her interest more because you are so loving and calm.
On second thought, after reading your other posts, perhaps offer her your version of ice cream, fudge, apple pie etc whilst she and her nose are visiting you.
I can totally understand why you'd be fuming!
I have come to realize that I just don't tell anyone about my lifestyle anymore and it seems better that way. If they are intersted and they ask, I am very general.
If they are really really intersted, then I tell a little more. If they are really really really intersted they always come back and then I tell alot more and share websites.
But, I've stopped telling so much the first inquiry.
Seems cold, but I am just sick and tired of all the judging. I am not judging them for the way that they eat.
I have an 11 month old that is still excusively nursing and she out of the blue came up and said, "Are you feeding this little guy solids yet"? I said, no. She said she was concerned about that because when I do start him on solids he's gonna reject it because of the spoon tongue reaction! :rolling eyes:
I said, well I am positive he is not going to have a problem, I fed my other son that same way and he is 3.5 years old now and eating just fine! She had nothing to say and had to take her stuff to her car.
It's outrageous. I don't get on her for drinking Mountain Dew and eating tons of yucky food.
I don't even tell people anymore that I'm still nursing. Why do they need to know?
This woman is a nurse and is a know it all and it is getting old to her all her advise. I stay away from her as much as possible! :) But, am nice about it, I just am always busy when I see her and don't have time to chat!!
I've decided what I do for my family is my business, it is not harming my children and they don't need to know all the details. This woman is the type of woman to call cps if she feels something is out of sorts. She's done it to her own children.
Ok, sorry for such a long reply, but people getting in other people's business is really getting under my skin!
But, like someone said, if you're (and me) are dripping sweet to these people, they may say, hey, maybe there's something to that type of lifestyle!!
So, I will try and change my reply for the next time! ;)
Thank you for all your replies, support and advice!
I know she means well, I honestly believe she does. She just has a very forceful approach. But when the time comes to face her and her questions, I'll be well-armed with patience, kindness and just the right amount and quality of information to get her off my back! ;)