Soak some sunflower seeds and make a basic sun cheese by blending them with water, but thin it out to the consistency of ranch dressing. Use a little bit of lemon juice as well. Salt and pepper to taste.
Pour this over your salad, and sprinkle (liberally) with poppy seeds, sesame seeds, dehydrated onions (minced), dehydrated garlic (minced) and maybe a pinch of caraway seeds. For best results, soak and dehydrate all the seeds.
It would not be inappropriate to include raisins as a salad ingredient (to maximize the everythingness of your bagel experience)
Stay tuned for matzo-ball soup and gafilte fish...