Emotional abuse

[shine72]

Has any of you beautiful people been through this in their childhood?

And if yes: how did you manage to heal yourself? Is it possible or will it always be there and hurt you all the time? What would you recommend? What helped YOU best?

Do you know any good books on the subject?

Thanks a lot.

Take care, Eva

I didn't get to read through the replies, but I can tell you the thing that helped me the most. I had a couple of very wise women tell me some things. One of which was that while I can't change the past, the part that was still feeling wounded in me was the child. As I child, I couldn't heal the child, but now, & especially as a mother who knows how to love, nourish, and protect her children, I could now love, nourish, and heal the child part in me that had been so wounded. It was hard at first, showing myself the same love I selflessly gave to others. What I could give to others w/o thinking, I had to consciously concentrate on giving to myself. And yes, it took time, but taking the steps to nourish and love myself worked and paid off in quite unexpected dividends.

I know this rambled a bit, but I hope it can help you is some small way. :)

[Stina]

Meditation has brought healing grace to my life.

[freshlight]

taking the steps to nourish and love myself worked and paid off in quite unexpected dividends.

it sounds beautiful, thank you! It does make sense to me: you should always take good care of yourself in order to be able to give out LOVE freely.
I'm happy it worked for you :)

[freshlight]

Meditation has brought healing grace to my life.

any particular kind? Light meditation?

[Jenifae]

Louis Hay "You can Heal Yourself" and "The Courage to Heal" are great books. They saved me along with a loving Female Therapist who actually had me do work not just talk through it. I feel it's so so Important to take care of ourselves in this manner in order to function and live somewhat normal lives. I had DD and got triggered alot in the beginning. It started to slowly fade as I healed and gained Understanding and Forgiveness. But, I had to let the little girl get mad first. Like I said a professional is the best way to do this...............My therapist was a Metaphysical, Young, loving Woman who saved my emotional life. It is however a life long pursuit that I have chosen in this life.

Many Blessings for your HEALING!

[freshlight]

yes, I know her books,-she is really amazing! Thanks for the good wishes.

LOVE&LIGHT

from

Eva

[*RayRay*]

good books about letting go of the past are Eckhart Tolle "A New Earth" and "The Power of Now".....

[Conscious Midwife]

these two are my favorite for emotional healing

[Conscious Midwife]

http://www.longhealingprayer.com/

listening to this song as a part of meditation and quiet time has also allowed for some good interpersonal work i the past

[Colorawdo girl]

Eva, I honor you for speaking your concerns. I love the growth and stretching of raw life as much, if not more than I love the food. We are whole people and take into account every aspect of life, not just food.

If you find the person you connect with to assist you on this road, it will be the best thing you have ever done. They can move mountains inside of you and bring such clarity and understanding to it all.

I love all my life has consisted of. The good and the not so good. It is eye opening when you see all of us that were abused and misused. Who would I be without all that having occurred?

I love myself exactly as I am and all it brought me to as a person.All my experiences shaped me and formed me and made me ME!!!

I would not trade out one single section of my life for anything else. When I got that piece,that was profound for me. You will come to the place in healing where you honor your past. Once you look it square in the face and see the beauty in that struggle to get free(much like the caterpillar who thought it was the end of the world, then became a beautiful butterfly...honoring that struggle for it was the way to the beauty part) you will see Eva. You will see.

Children. We do the best we know how Eva and when we know better, we do better. Please do not beat yourself up over your children. You, my dear, have the one key ingredient that is needed above all else. That is love.

And I didnt "pass this on" to them because I did not abuse them in any way. I simply loved them. They are amazing adults today. I think, what they do know about my life, only makes them( in more grown up times now) really appreciate all I am today with all that has gone before. They will see more as they have children too.

Eva, you are so wonderful. If I could give you a gift right now, it would be the gift of seeing yourself as we all do. The beautiful person that you are, all you have to offer, all you are to your children and friends(I am sure) and all you are becoming.

I wish you the best of everything on your way to wholeness. Funny that you already there,you just don't see it yet!!! But you will.

We are here for you as you can see. We love you and a big bear hug for you sweet. It will be okay.

Books I love that helped me:

The Bible first.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff series is good(one is What about the big stuff?)

Sark has alot of healing ideas and inspiration. I like most of her stuff.Not all. (I met her at a book signing ("Transformation Soup")and had shared my experience of her books lifting my art life off the ground!!!) She created a catharsis in me.

Goodnight Moon is a good one(to nurture that little hurt child inside).

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay...I love how she shows the mind body connection. What might be going on emotionally to allow the physical ailment.

Soul Gardening by Thomas Moore I love how he honors the empty spaces(woweeee).

Finding Your Way Home by Melody Beattie .
I read this one so many times at so many points in my life and it always applied. I see this helping you as she has child challenge too. Hers died but it all applies. Loss is loss. She helps one to go on.

I know my post is long but here goes my fave inspiration. I learn alot from people who wrote at the end of their life. That is where wisdom is. This woman was dying. Here is her poem. Its on my wall. I live by this.



IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair,
85 years old.

Eva, the lighter we get.the better it goes. Sweet one,you are loved, you are safe, you have enough, you are enough, you ARE! Happy daisy picking and merry go round riding..Lv,Bette

[papiyonmov]

Eva: there's a book that's been tremendously helpful for me, Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control (there's a volume 1 and 2--I'd start with the 1st one). http://www.beyondconsequences.com/ It was written for parents of kids with difficult to severe behaviors but actually much of it is about healing ourselves from our own triggers/trauma/state-level memories. You learn a lot about understanding where all behaviors come from, in everyone (not just kids), and how to address our own feelings/reactions so we can in turn respond to others, not just react. A healthy loving way to live with and work through our issues so we are no longer controlled by them. Which then in turn creates MUCH MUCH more loving relationships around us, including definitely w/our children. Pretty amazing and has been life-changing and fits perfectly w/raw -- in fact, that's where I learned about raw, from the author, Heather Forbes! The co-author, Dr Bryan Post also has wonderful material and is the one developed The Stress Model, explaining behaviors, he's at http://www.postinstitute.com and can download a free book of his call For All Things a Season. I can't describe in a quick paragraph how life-changing it was to pick up that first book, which led down such an amazing road. You might want to check out the Beyond Cons institute to see what free stuff she has there: documents, etc.
Oh, I gotta go, hope that helped!

[RawkinOnSunshine]

I believe that the hurt can definitely be healed, with the proper mindset and the right guidance.

I experienced this as a child and well into my teens. Physical abuse existed in my childhood but rarely in my teens, besides one relationship. I did go to therapy after that one experience but I didn't stay long enough to do any good because it became too difficult. I think it's incredible important that if you DO begin to dig up all the repressed memories, thoughts, and emotions, you have to keep on going until you've healed and expelled them as needed. Otherwise it's like detoxing your body, but not following through so that the toxins can be "kicked out". I hope you find something that works for you.

[cara4art]

All compassionate and insightful comments from others here!
It is no accident that stuff about abuse is coming up on the board here, and over on www.goneraw.com discussion board. Since when we go raw and are not self-medicating with SAD foods, anything that was numbed out is right there in front of our faces, rising to be healed, as a wise acupuncturist friend of mine said to me once when I was going through a challenging time. If one has not done serious inner work prior to going raw, it will be shown to one big-time where one's issues lie, because one doesn't have the crutch of the offending SAD foods to fall back on to numb it out. It takes a lot of courage to come forward and share these things too.
I can say this from personal experience, although "time" and reading helpful books can be very good, there comes a time when one really has to do the work of healing this part of the past, and that is best done with a compassionate therapist and/or shamanic energy practitioner. In my own case, in the early 90's I had intensive hypnotherapy which helped enormously within only 6 months(even my therapist was surprised by how quickly I moved along on these issues)and later on, I went through a 3-year period of shamanic energy work to deal with both present AND past-life causes of injuries, etc. One cannot put a price on this kind of work, as the internal payoff is so big. Doing the inner work is THE most important thing, and you will move along a lot quicker in a safe counselling situation - I cannot recommend it highly enough. I know, the financial aspects of doing this are often troublesome and there were times when I was apprehensive about how I was going to continue doing this, and then money would appear, just in time! The Universe at work, really wanting me to continue - LOL!
Wishing all of you who are facing these things the very best of luck in your healing path! Yyes, it is ongoing, even when one comes out of counselling, to continue the behaviors that will lead to radiant health on all levels, of which diet is just one, and personal happiness!

[Stina]

Hey, there's one particular book on meditation that I'd highly recommend. It's the Heartmath Forumula. It's learning to meditation with the heart chakra. I've had the most amazing experiences as a direct result of this particular meditation.

Also, I gotta admit, the most powerful influence in my life has been 12-Step Recovery.

[papiyonmov]

p.s. A therapist friend of mine is very excited about "energy psychology". An example is a company called AIT in northern CA and the psychology is apparently found world-wide. It seems very complimentary to the raw/natural lifestyle. She experienced it herself (as well as learning to practition it) and said it was amazing at healing stored traumas.