Emotional abuse

[freshlight]

Has any of you beautiful people been through this in their childhood?

And if yes: how did you manage to heal yourself? Is it possible or will it always be there and hurt you all the time? What would you recommend? What helped YOU best?

Do you know any good books on the subject?

Thanks a lot.

Take care, Eva

[Aleesha Sattva]

of course you can heal... you can heal anything with time, love, support and understanding.

journalling is a great way to start creating (and noticing) change in your life. go to your nearest library or bookstore and pick up some self-help books.

and i'm a huge fan of therapy. amazing how much healing you can get with some well-guided therapy.

of course, there's always EFT as well (emotional freedom technique) i just reviewed this dvd "Try It On Everything
The Revolution Starts Within" for the mag. it'll be online in a few weeks... but here's a link in the meantime to the dvd: http://www.tryitoneverything.com/

[Revvell]

I've been through emotional and physical abuse. Work with the right therapist can make all the difference. "Healing" is a process... you don't just "get over it"... although there are some parts at some times, one can "get over it"..

Yep! It's work, takes awareness, desire, recognition and consistent persistence.

Books can only take you so far. I've got a lot of them along with interviews of the therapists on Celebrating Your Potential. Most therapists can only take you so far. Find one who's done his or her own healing work and continues to do so.

Revvell

[mtraezme]

I never did any therapy, but I realized recently that I'm not holding onto the hurt any more. I think the things that helped me most were: getting out of the situation; acknowledging that it happened and that it will always be with me; finding positive hobbies like exercise; spending time with people who care about me; changing my first name; and getting a dog.


For me, the unquestioning love from animals really helped me both recieve and give love. The love from the dog my parents got also helped my dad to stop drinking and to be a lot less volatile.

[bluebellgirl]

i was severely abused on all levels and i'm still trying to heal.. i have cptsd
and am on meds and in therapy still at age 37! but coming off meds slowly..

i'll get back to you on the book front.. i have some good ones, mostly about sexual abuse but i have some good ones about emotional healing too.

hugs bluebell x

[cherry.chops]

when i got physically abused i never went to therapy. its been a few years, but ive let go. so for me...time is the best healer

[spicyfull]

You have been given such great advice. I wish you All My Best as you continue your Healing.

[freshlight]

of course you can heal... you can heal anything with time, love, support and understanding.

journalling is a great way to start creating (and noticing) change in your life. go to your nearest library or bookstore and pick up some self-help books.

and i'm a huge fan of therapy. amazing how much healing you can get with some well-guided therapy.

Thank you so much, Aleesha! I have been trying to find a good therapist for a long time now.....the last one I went to was a disaster. But I'll keep trying of course.

[freshlight]

It's amazing to see how many of you did actually go through HELL! I feel very sad about it....how wonderful that you managed to get out of there.
My raw memory started torturing me: I started remembering things I long ago forgot about and do have lots of nightmares now
I thought I'm alright because I've been doing all the "forgiving and looking at things positively" but my subconsious mind is not yet keeping up with all this.
Have any of you got children? How do you manage not to pass on the pain? I know it's possible but it's not easy........

The journaling is great and I've been doing it since years..but the pain seems to be growing instead of disappearing.
I feel so lost at the moment! Lots of things seem to go wrong....or I don't recognise the rightness of it all.

Thank you for all your caring words. I do appreciate them a lot and send lots of love your way.

Hugs from Eva

[Revvell]

It's amazing to see how many of you did actually go through HELL! I feel very sad about it....

I don't. It's what made me who I am today. It is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... w/out the wind, there is no wheat; without the struggles, there is no strength.

It was courageous of you to bring up this topic.

Revvell

[freshlight]

I don't. It's what made me who I am today. It is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... w/out the wind, there is no wheat; without the struggles, there is no strength.

I KNEW you would say that :) You are great!

It was courageous of you to bring up this topic.

Revvell

Oh, thanks! It wasn't easy but I LOVE listenning to your opinions. This place is full of LOVE.

Thank you!

[contessa20]

(((EVA)))
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. If you ever want to talk I'd be happy to lend an ear.

I do have one child -- a 9 yr. old son. He knows nothing about the things that I went through as a child. Right now I feel that he's too young to bear that burden. He hasn't put the pieces of the puzzle together either as far as why he's never met a good portion of my family. It's just always been that way for him and he knows no different.

While I'm a very protective mother, I've been careful not to be one of those mom's who makes him think there's a child molester in every home and on every street corner. I want him to have a joyful and relatively carefree childhood. He's a worrier by nature anyway so I don't want to burden him with my own issues. That goal alone is usually enough to keep me in check.

I do continually need to keep my temper and frustration in check. Being raw helps to mellow out my moods but it's still something I struggle with. Personally though, I don't believe it has anything to do with what happened to me as a child. A therapist may have a different take on that but I choose to take responsibility for my behavior no matter where it came from and as such I have a choice to either lash out in frustration or react calmly. Like with anything else in life, sometimes I make wrong choices but then no one is perfect. Take responsibility, apologize, ask forgiveness, move on and make better choices next time.

Love and hugs to you.

[freshlight]

Hey Cris,

you sound like an amazingly wise person! Thank you so much for taking the time to write.
I'm happy you take such a good care of your little darling. Our children deserve the best and being a perfectionist is not an easy thing to deal with, haha (I'm talkin about myself ;) )

I hope to be able to get out of this darkness asap.
You are so strong! This gives me hope......

THANK YOU.

Hugs from Eva

[papiyonmov]

Eva: there's a book that's been tremendously helpful for me, Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control (there's a volume 1 and 2--I'd start with the 1st one). http://www.beyondconsequences.com/ It was written for parents of kids with difficult to severe behaviors but actually much of it is about healing ourselves from our own triggers/trauma/state-level memories. You learn a lot about understanding where all behaviors come from, in everyone (not just kids), and how to address our own feelings/reactions so we can in turn respond to others, not just react. A healthy loving way to live with and work through our issues so we are no longer controlled by them. Which then in turn creates MUCH MUCH more loving relationships around us, including definitely w/our children. Pretty amazing and has been life-changing and fits perfectly w/raw -- in fact, that's where I learned about raw, from the author, Heather Forbes! The co-author, Dr Bryan Post also has wonderful material and is the one developed The Stress Model, explaining behaviors, he's at http://www.postinstitute.com and can download a free book of his call For All Things a Season. I can't describe in a quick paragraph how life-changing it was to pick up that first book, which led down such an amazing road. You might want to check out the Beyond Cons institute to see what free stuff she has there: documents, etc.
Oh, I gotta go, hope that helped!

[cara4art]

All compassionate and insightful comments from others here!
It is no accident that stuff about abuse is coming up on the board here, and over on www.goneraw.com discussion board. Since when we go raw and are not self-medicating with SAD foods, anything that was numbed out is right there in front of our faces, rising to be healed, as a wise acupuncturist friend of mine said to me once when I was going through a challenging time. If one has not done serious inner work prior to going raw, it will be shown to one big-time where one's issues lie, because one doesn't have the crutch of the offending SAD foods to fall back on to numb it out. It takes a lot of courage to come forward and share these things too.
I can say this from personal experience, although "time" and reading helpful books can be very good, there comes a time when one really has to do the work of healing this part of the past, and that is best done with a compassionate therapist and/or shamanic energy practitioner. In my own case, in the early 90's I had intensive hypnotherapy which helped enormously within only 6 months(even my therapist was surprised by how quickly I moved along on these issues)and later on, I went through a 3-year period of shamanic energy work to deal with both present AND past-life causes of injuries, etc. One cannot put a price on this kind of work, as the internal payoff is so big. Doing the inner work is THE most important thing, and you will move along a lot quicker in a safe counselling situation - I cannot recommend it highly enough. I know, the financial aspects of doing this are often troublesome and there were times when I was apprehensive about how I was going to continue doing this, and then money would appear, just in time! The Universe at work, really wanting me to continue - LOL!
Wishing all of you who are facing these things the very best of luck in your healing path! Yyes, it is ongoing, even when one comes out of counselling, to continue the behaviors that will lead to radiant health on all levels, of which diet is just one, and personal happiness!