should I stop nursing my first child when I get pregnant with my second child?

[HolyGuacamole]

Coco, I'm sorry you feel that way and for whatever may have happened to give you that idea, but that's not reflective of my experience at all.

My midwives were "real" midwives... I didn't go to the doctor at all during my pregnancies, didn't have any tests, etc.
When my son, 3, was born, SO called them at the last minute, and one of them walked in just as baby was crowning, so I had all but an unassisted birth. I was in the bathroom by myself, soaking in the bathtub, and I reached down for the baby and pulled him out of the water as he was born.
The midwife was still unpacking her things, and when he was born, she basically just helped me to the couch and then eventually upstairs to bed and cleaned up and hung around in case I needed anything.
There was no interference and absolutely no intervention of any kind, at any point during my pregnancy or birth.

Further, I did an apprenticeship with a direct entry midwife and thus was completely immersed in midwifery for some time. I never saw the kinds of midwives you are talking about, forcing things on women and "not being okay" with how the women wanted to give birth. I'm sure they exist, but I believe they are the exception rather than the rule.
As far as I can tell, midwifery is alive and well, thank God.


Hope you're doing great and feeling well in charge of your own pregnancy, rawfoodmommy#1. :)

[mama29]

I did and this was my first time. It is my 9th Baby. All the other 8 I was very sick, so I thought this would be the case. Now I was 2 months raw so i know that helped and by God's Grace- but it was quite enjoyable and I wasn't even near sick, just a little queasy. However, I was able to nurse only a month and my baby 1.5yrs weaned herself. But I am sure glad I got to experience tandon nursing. It was sweet.
Kristi

[coco]

glad to hear your good experience HolyGuacamole. i fully support a woman's right to choose the most comfortable way to give birth, whether that is on her own or in the hospital with every aid available to her. one way is not everyone's way after all.

being involved in alternative living especially child-rearing, i have tons of contact with midwives in my life and i have to say that most of them are very constrained by the regulations they are under. take manditory c-sections for breech babies or twins, they are not "allowed" to be born vaginally anymore, at least not here in canada. automatic c-section.

i had a midwife come to my house after my son was born (friend's sister) and she was lovely and wonderful about filling out paperwork etc. but she agreed with me that midwifery is no-where near what it used to be. when i told her the kind of birth i wanted she advised me NOT to call her during labour but to wait until afterwards if i wanted to avoid her having to check dilation etc. she said that there were proceedures that she was bound by law to follow whether i wanted them or not. i hear the same from my cousin who's partner is a midwife. not to mention the stories from friends who have given birth with a midwife present.
it's certainly worth looking at an alternative.

[rawfoodmommy#1]

a midwife is a doctor these days. midwifery has been completely co-opted by the medical establishment so far as i can see, there are no real midwives anymore. none.
i birth at home unassisted the way that nature intended. it's not for everyone but i would have it no other way. i can't imagine handing over my birthing experience and power to someone else, that scares me as much as not having some to take control for them scares some other women. but the idea that i wouldn't be able to have things the way i wanted because i'm worried about whether "the midwifes will be okay with it" or not seems so very wrong to me. exactly who is in charge? in that situation it isn't me or the baby and that's dangerous in my opinion. you can't force the river, you have to bend your knees and go with the flow. for me the baby was in charge of everything, it was my job only to get my big brain out of the way and let things happen how they were meant to.
agani, not for everyone but i couldn't imagine another birth.

thank you so much for being so open with me and sharing your way of thinking. My first child was born at home with a midwife and it was very pleasant experience but I hear you about some bad midwifes. I know that many midwifes who work for hospitals are like that because one of my friends told me her story. Thank you also for telling me not to worry what the midwifes might think. This is my baby and I should be able to do what ever I feel like doing. Personally, I would not mind having an unassisted birth but my husband would be very scared because he wants to have security that our baby is going to be born okay that's why I am choosing to have a midwife present.
I don't feel like having all those test done so I will probably only call the midwife my last month of pregnancy and discuss how I want my labor.
Also, when you had your babies unassisted how did you go about getting a birth certificate? Did you have any problems at all?

[islesgirl]

Is there any good reasons to stop nursing my 2 1/2 years old son when I get pregnant again?
And if I do wean him off breast milk what should I give him when he falls asleep and wakes up at night and ask for it? He never had a pacifier and I never gave him a bottle. He always liked to drink from my cup. Please, share any info
thank you so much

Hi rawfoodmommy. I just saw this and I had to share my experience. I was quite happily nusing my 3 year old son (can't remember how often though) when I became pregnant again. Around that time he himself seemed to lose interest in nursing for a while and for some reason, instead of stopping altogether, I somehow encouraged him to continue. I am now 62 and can't remember all the details. BUT, I do remember clearly that suddenly my body changed with the pregnancy and soon I found it very distasteful to nurse him and then he wanted it and became very clingy. Well, it made it much harder then to wean him and I should have paid more attention to him when he lost interest in the first place - perhaps he noticed a change in the taste of my milk - don't know. Just some food for thought. Happy mothering!!

[coco]

my first baby i had no problems getting id and such because my friend the midwife came afterwards and filled out all the paper work for me. the second one though, OMG the hoops i had to jump through. the hospital called child services because they decided that not having prenatal care made me a bad mother and that was a total nightmare (cs very quickly determined that i am fantastic and sent me a letter stating such, thank goodness for their common sense). all in all though it was worth that small cost to have my experience my way. talking to other moms who have done it in your area will help head problems off at the pass. it is totally doable, you just need to know the loopholes.

best of luck!

[rawfoodmommy#1]

thanks coco for sharing. I don't know of anyone in my area who had unassisted birth and never went to all the visits but I don't want to go to the hospital either so I am sticking with my midwifes.