Just a rant.... my story so far...

[tames]

Once you go raw, it is unbelievable how much cooked food is ingrained in our culture. Nearly any social event with family, work or church involves cooked food.

I went to a large wake after a funeral on Wednesday at my church. There was TONS of cooked food. Everything you could think of. I went to the salad section and all the salads had cheese or mayonnaise on them. There were actully more dessert/cookies type food than anything else. Everyone wanted to make their "special" recipie. I decided to just leave. I felt uncomfortable just sitting there eating nothing while everyone else chowed down.

On July 4th with the family, this was the first time that most of them heard that I was "raw", I felt very embarrassed about telling them. Almost like it was this little secret I have been hiding. My brother said "Well, I don't care about any of that, life is too short. I am going to eat all the steak and chicken I want!" This from a man who just last summer had part of his colon removed from diverticulitis. My mother had a heart attack (nearly died) in May. The doctors put in 4 stints. No special dietary instructions or therapy AT ALL. But, of course, lots of drugs she will have to take the rest of her life. She said "I worked with this girl (many years ago) and all she ate was vegetables. She was pale, skinny and sickly looking. They had to take her to the hospital because she was not getting enough protein! You should eat red meat at least once a week!". My dad who a few years ago had his prostate "reamed" didn't say anything.... The only person that was mildly supportive was my sister-in-law. She started asking me questions about why raw food was better than cooked. She thought the "enzyme thing" was interesting, and never really thought about it.

I am a thin man anyway because I exercise a lot. When I went vegetarian in early June and cut out all the junk food, I lost more weight. I think I look pretty good, but my mother thinks I am too thin. "Don't lose any more weight! You are too thin!" I tried to explain to her that this was a detox period, and that I will put on some weight once I adjust. I am 47 years old. My body is now the same size as it was when I was in my twenties! That of course is quite unusual for any 47 year old man these days. So I guess I look kind of like a freak.

Funny thing is, when I went on the high protein diet a few years ago, no one had ANY problem with that. In fact, my mother, father, brother all tried it! How weird is that?

The emotional/social part of this is much more difficult than the eating part. I am the only person that I know that is vegetarian/raw/whatever so support is very low right now. My diet consisted of fast food cheesburgers, pizza, KFC, cold cut sandwiches and chinese food. Lots of junk food - cakes, cookies, chips for snacks and diet soda. Soooo this is a big change for me. NO ONE cared what I ate before I started this. Now that I am eating much healthier, people think I am going to DIE!

Thanks Alissa for this forum, a great DVD and a great book.

Tim
--Toledo, OH

[catherinethegreat]

Hi Tim,

Thanks for sharing all of that!

I know the feeling of being at family gatherings and being looked at funny and talked down to because of the raw food choice. My sister in law picked on me all night at a dinner and it was not fun at all.

I totally understand how odd it is to be doing this surrounded by a bunch of people who have a compltely different point of view and all the old foods around that used to be normal for us.

I'm learning more and more to not say anything at all. Each meal you are in the mood for different foods - so I just eat what I am in the mood for..Ie: salad at a restuarant - and don't even explain it.

Tomorrow I'm heading to a pool party BBQ. Food will be provided.
I'm deciding to bring a raw raspberry banana pie with me to share with everyone, and I may bring a small cooler with a few items of rawness to share as well so I don't feel overwhelmed. Right now I'm not 100% raw though so I will most likely eat a little cooked.

It does feel like the social part is more painful then what we are actually eating or not eating.

Sometimes it just feels easier to "fit in" then to push so hard against a very unconscious but solid and strong culture of cooked food and junk food eating people. But in the end the health issues seem even more powerful then any social "pressures" and I go back to really loving myself no matter what and that also means what I eat.

I do'nt know what I am trying to say here ! hahahah

Guess I just related to your story and wanted to share that I know what you mean!

A cooler with some basic foods in it are VERY helpful when you are out or with family. An avocado ( and a knife to cut it open with! ), a lemon for dressing, some almonds, flax crackers, raw power bars, water, braggs, etc...

*c

[sweetgoddess]

Welcome aboard Tim. I am very happy for you about the changes you are making with your health.
I wanted to let you know, that we will support you here, so you are not alone.
It is interesting how people think isnt it?
Have you ever heard of the show Frontier House? 3 families went and lived in Montana in Log cabins and had to homestead and live according to the 1800's. Anyways, they werent used to eating so simply, exercising so much and having so much sunlight and fresh air. They quickly lost weight, became toned and skinny....but they thought they were dying! They called in a Dr and he said, "you are in the best shape you have ever been in in your life!" Imagine that--they thought the best shape they have ever been in was deaths doorstep.
If you look back through history, ignoring the upper class, all men were lean and thin.
You are doing a fabulous thing. Yeah you! :) ;)

[Jodi]

I can sooo relate to the funeral luncheon. We had a death in our family this past week and the luncheon was at a banquet hall. Food was served family style. Since the deceased family member was my hubbys step-brother...we sat at the same table as his dad and wife. All the food served was cooked and even the salad came on a big plate with dressing already on it.

Since I was at the same table as the grieving family...I stayed silent. I didn't want to create anymore tension then there already was. So, I just nibbled at the food. I tried to find what lettuce I could that was not covered in dressing. It was hard.

I wonder if my hubbys family new of my new way of eating...if they might have accomodated me in getting at least a salad, plain. But, since nobody knew...I didn't think it was a good time to announce it. But, before the next family event I think I will let them know!


Jodi

[Pailani]

My brother said "Well, I don't care about any of that, life is too short. I am going to eat all the steak and chicken I want!"

The only response I can think of to that is

"I want to Live! I want to LLIIIIIIIVE!"

Really, if someone cares more about what goes in their mouth than the length or quality of their life, then there's much more to say to them, is there? We each make our own choice and live with it (or not, as the case may be?)

[Autumn]

<<NO ONE cared what I ate before I started this. Now that I am eating much healthier, people think I am going to DIE! >>

Isn't that a riot? So true! and Welcome!

[angelandarose]

I hear you Tim. I am to the point that, I know I create my own reality and I am the only one who can do anything about my life and my weight and my health. And I don't give a FLIP what anyone else thinks about it. It has taken me a long time to come to those terms but I'm there and it's so liberating.

I use to just cringe when I would tell people I was eating a RAW diet, NOW I LOVE telling people I eat a Raw and LIVING food diet. I've had several online gals recently ask me for more information. That is so cool. My mom is now adding more raw fruits and veggies along with her cooked meals. I am lucky to have one very good friend who I can share this diet with and we trade stuff out of our gardens all the time.

Keep up the great work and just don't give a FLIP what others think. ;)

Love,
Angie

[rawpriestess]

Well, I believe that ALL humans know in their heart that the cooked way of eating, isn't good for them, that is why they protest sooooo much when someone else starts to eat correctly, and cares about their own health.

They feel like you are saying, "Hey, you arent' eating healthy, and you don't care about your body, but I'm going to do something about mine, and I'm better than you because of it."

Of course, you aren't saying that at all, but anyone with any issue, will feel an attack, simply because you are DOING what they know they should.

Keep up the good work, you deserve it.

By the way, my hubby is 47 also, and wears the same size clothes he did in High School, he is very thin, although, now that he is going more and more raw, about 75% now, he is gaining weight, and looks fantastic.

[sean lee]

sean
hi everyone, I have just started to eat raw-vegan and I feel so much better.
on friday I went to a social dinner and ate some cooked food and did not feel too good the next day. It was not forced upon me I chose to eat the cooked food.I have only been going raw since last monday.having meet someone who eats a similar diet.It,s been great for my spirit and I don't really want to go back to cooked food. This site is great and has been helping me. The raw-vegan diet is helping me to be more sensitive to those around me and my emotional life is much better although I am detoxing physically.

[Carlene]

Tim, next time your family starts in on you on your eating, just change the conversation to some controversial political or religious subject. Let them see you as the rebel in the family then at the next gathering when you choose to eat only salad they'll just dismiss your odd ways with a wave of the hand. "Oh, that's just Tim, the old hippie!" After your body adjusts and you start to glow, they'll come begging to know more about your lifestyle and why it is at 47 you look 30. In the meantime, stay clear of interventions!

I've spent most of my life heavy, but when I did manage to get thin ie: weigh the same as my sister who had always been thin, she started sending me articles about anorexia and then when I went to visit her she plied me with chips and junk food. People seem to have their own agenda, why would they care what we eat? It's not like we're pointing out every donut they put in their mouth why would they laugh at our salads.

Hmm, maybe I got out some ranting of my own in anticipation of going on vacation to visit a lot of family (my sister).

[RawTruth]

What a great rant, Tim! You saw so clearly where each person was coming from ... and how ill-equipped they were to be experts.

I also was the only raw foodist I knew when I started Alissa's 30 Day Challenge 6 months ago. However, since then I've worked hard to find and/or create local contacts. Since Toledo is a good size city, I'm thinking that there might very likely be a group that meets for potlucks, farmers markets where others who care about fresh produce congregate, and, perhaps, raw sections at at least one health food store in the city. It may take some perserverence and some time, but you could end up with a support network in real life there and some people in your life who are also concerned and maybe even passionate about the same things you are.

Best of luck. Your posts show you to very grounded and aware.

By the way, I'm older than you and am now the same weight I was in high school and I'm told I'm way too thin. I say (in my head) Whatever! Not one person who makes that comment is making healthy choices in their own lives, so I just hear blah blah blah ...

[Pailani]

when I did manage to get thin ie: weigh the same as my sister who had always been thin, she started sending me articles about anorexia and then when I went to visit her she plied me with chips and junk food.

That is just bizarre. Why is it okay for her to be that weight, but not you?

[Carlene]

Pailine, I think people don't like change. My sister and I are very close, but on both of us looking back at it we laugh, I guess it comes down to not upsetting the status quo.

[tames]

Thanks all for your responses and encouragement. I never thought about the "I'm doing something healthier than you" thing, and in regards to the "hippie" statement, I had to laugh! That is exactly how I feel lately. I am using honey to clean my hair and skin. Doing epsom salt/ACV baths. So funny. I have to find some hemp clothing!

[VeganVixen]

yes ,I LOVE my hemp "threads"

lol, I was at my great aunts house (she is 100% old school italian) ,lol I was basically eating salads w LOTS of nuts (to seem look anorexic, it HURT my gallbladder SO BAD!!!) and fruit , she would ALWAYS bribe me with cakes and cookies and pitzels (those anise flat cracker/cookies ) ,and would say I was TOO skinny ,the funny thing was ,I was actually heavier and could BARELY fit into my pants! When I got back ,I lost the weight -lol its so funny that she thought I was emaciated ,when I was a tad chubby :rollseyes: !