8 year old refuses anything healthy!

[AlwaysWrite]

I'm really concerned about my 8 year old brother. His diet is so unhealthy. When I was a child, my mother was much younger, so I ate pretty well, but she was much older when she had my brother, so now she has more of a laid back, 'just let him eat whatever' kind of attitude. His diet is basically a lot of fast food, quick microwaved stuff, lots of bread, meat, snacks. He turns his nose up at most fruits, veggies, nuts, etc. His refuses to eat anything that I suggest and my mother isn't concerned. I'm old enough to be his mother, but his attitude is "You're not my mother and Mommy says I don't have to eat that!"

I'm just really worried because he has colds all the time (every other week it seems) and I know it's because of poor diet. I don't want it to escalate into a worse illness. It would be different if I were the parent because then I'd know how to handle it, but what do you do when you try to get a child to eat healthy and his mother (who happens to be your parent as well) tells him he doesn't have to??

BTW. I'm not trying to get him 100% raw right away, but slowly transitioning at least to cooked vegan. I've tried soymilk instead of cow's milk. Whole grain bread instead of white bread. Carrot sticks instead of potato chips. Apple slices as an afternoon snack. I can't even get cooperation with slight changes!!

[tracyinfo]

Always Write, what a nice person you are to try getting your brother to eat a better and healthier diet.

I think the best thing you can do is show him how you eat, slowly introducing more whole foods into the household and share some of your best recipes with him.

You could also convince your mom to stop buying white bread, white pasta, etc..

Sometimes, teaching a child how to prepare food, gets the child interested in how to choose produce, how to prepare it and how to enjoy the food!

Best of Luck, your brother is lucky to have you!

[Rawkinlocs]

WHOO WEE girl! If you don't sound like me! I have a younger brother, 12 years old, who is overweight, is asthematic, and he claims he doesn't like fruit or vegetables.

My mom had him in her 40's. She does cook, probably every night, but there are still lots of processed things, junk, etc. Plus she cooks the BAD (black american diet) for the most part - fried meats, mac and cheese, pork this and that, etc. Right now she has been told she has Hep. C and he is getting bigger every time I see him.

What can you do? If you pray, do that but shy of that, there's not much you can do. Just be an example. My little brother doesn't even want to come over here anymore because of how we eat and he knows he won't be getting bacon and eggs for breakfast, ramen noodles for lunch and pizza for dinner like he used to at one time when we used to have him over during the time WE used to eat like that!

When my mom calls me telling me that the doctor said this or that she is experiencing that, I try to talk to her a little about some changes she can make, but she doesn't heed and she starts dodging me.

I feel for you because I'm in the same boat. I don't want to sit back and watch my brother eat himself into an early grave, but I don't know what else to do at this point. But I think that as I said before, just being a good example and letting them see the changes in US is probably the best thing we can do and let them come to us and ask us. It usually works that way anyway.

[VeganVixen]

maybe you could start with veggie burgers (guys dont flame me for suggesting non-raw ,but..) b/c I was sorta like your brother ,both my parents are older and were "yuppies" I was a latchkey kid who had to cook for myself and wasnt told what was good or bad (ironically my parents constantly reminded me I was fat ) So I bought pizzas , chinese ANYTHING ,japanese ANYTHING (ususally veggie/shrimp tempura) and fried seafood anything. But suddenly I REALLY started thinking about what my meat was doing prior to slaughter ,and the negative effects it was doing to my body.

However , pressure to "get thin" didnt help , mostly b/c my mom never said what I could have ,just what was making me fat -yet she forked over money for pizza when she was to tired or busy to cook! So maybe going on a walk or flying a kite or playing a recreational sport (like kicking around a soccer ball?) might help too , also have you tried the banana ice cream ? in the butter pecan flavor ,its simple to make and you could eat it around him , and he'll probably ask "where did you get that ,can I have some" - you could be aloof and say well I only have a little bit and its so good, I guess... and give him some , and when he finishes (or asks for seconds) say how about you learn how to make it? heres the link http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/forum/sho...light=orgasmic

[Rawkinlocs]

also have you tried the bananna ice cream ? in the butter pecan flavor ,its simple to make and you could eat it around him , and hell probably ask "where did you get that ,can I hae some" - you could be aloof and say well I only have a little bit and its so good, I guess and give him some , and when he fineshes (or asks for seconds)

That's an excellent suggestion! I might have to try that next time my little bro comes over! I know that my oldest son, sometimes I make raw stuff and I sit here like it's the BEST thing in the world going, "Mmmmm...mmmmm" and he is staring at me like he WANTS to try it, but he never does...well, sometimes he does.

[VeganVixen]

LOL , please forgive my typos , I type WAY too fast - My mind gets cluttered with ideas and spelling goes out the window! I m going to start typing on my email and spell checking THEN paste it here - I promise

[pineapple]

Rawkinlocs,

This sounds so familiar :) I used to cook/eat the BED (black european diet). Everything fried, cooked, pies, lots of meat, all sort of peas cooked with pork and rice. Fried plantains. Gosh I could go on and on.

AlwaysWrite, It is difficult to make others realise how bad their diet is. But I think your doing a good job. Keep talking to your brother. Like VV says make him veggie burgers etc. and when time comes he will get it. But dont give up.

Pineapple.

[rawpriestess]

I've read this thread a couple of times, and keep coming back to it. I would have to say that there are many factors here.

1. You care about your brother's health and wellbeing
2. You would like to help him
3. He is defiant, and won't listen to you
4. Your mother isn't going to support you in this
5. You are trying to change someone else.

This just won't work, you can't try to change someone else.

Now if you were his mom, or some form of authority figure, I would say that you have a chance, but you are not.

If your mother supported you in this, then there might be a chance, but this isn't the case.

If your brother was interested in this lifestyle, I'd say you have a chance, but this is not so either.

If it was YOU, that you were trying to change, I'd say you have a chance, but again, not so.

So, although it would be nice to change the world, it just isn't possible, unless one or more of these is in tact.

NO ONE WILL change, unless they truly have the desire. And it will cause you a great deal of frustration trying to change someone else.

When I first went raw, I though WOW, I could go to all the schools and prisons and tell the management about this and we could really help everyone.

And guess what I got in return, I got that they would say it was punishment to deny the inmates meat and dairy, that it was unconstitutional to deny them the pursuit of happiness through food. HUH?????

And with the school kids, I can't even tell you what happened there, Oh, my goddess, so many challenges even to talk to them about food, it is all handled by the Federal Government regulations, who still say that ketchup is a vegetable.

Now, it's not that I'm against change, I'm all for it, and I think that you may be the one to help your brother.

I just KNOW in my heart that this isn't MY lifetime to facilitate this change in society, but it might be Alissa's.

I wish you luck with changing someone else, but it goes against my principles to try to change someone else, after all it is HIS life, and HIS lessons.

I think the best thing to do is to always have yummy, fresh, raw food with you, and talk about how good it tastes, and to let him sample it if he is interested, and let HIM make his own decisions.

It will work sooooo much better in the long run if everyone were to make their own decisions.

Just imagine how you would feel, if someone came to you, say 10 years ago, and tried to even suggest this way of eating to you?

I know what I would have done, laughed in thier face, then maybe by now, I would think about it.

But I certainly wouldn't have ever tried it.

Good luck, and blessings to you for caring about your brother so very much.

[VeganVixen]

Great point , but do you think trying to include him in family sports would be a good idea , its fun and I dont know a brother who wouldnt play tag with his sister!? I mean I get that thats still trying to get him to do something ,but it seems more proactive than it is changing him.

[AlwaysWrite]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your responses and encouragement. I'm going to try some of your suggestions. :)

I'm will keep trying, but may have to accept that I can't change the situation. It's easy to ignore the bad eating habits of strangers, but when it's a loved one it's hard to just step away. Especially when it's a child...

Any more imput is welcomed...

[rawpriestess]

I know how hard it can be.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't eat cooked food, I don't gamble, in fact there are so many "don't" I wonder if I ever "do" LOL

but my mom passed away at 63, a very young age, she smoked 5 packs a day of cigaretts, drank every Friday night, drank gallons of coffee, and diet pop each day, ate meat like it was going out of style (which it has), ate everything packaged, and frozen, and canned and I couldn't help her, I was doing herbalife at the time, and eating lots of salads, although I still ate some meat, I would make her dinner every night, and then she'd go out to the freezer, and eat a 1/2 gallon of ice cream for dessert, then have another pot of coffee, etc.

I had to accept her as she chose to be, and realize that it was indeed "her" life to live, (or not) and that if I wanted to be any part of "her" life, that I had to accept her and what she did, or I had to leave.

I chose to love her for her, and not judge her actions, although here choices would not have been my choices, it was indeed her (rather short) life to live.

[RawTruth]

I used to cook/eat the BED (black european diet). Everything fried, cooked, pies, lots of meat, all sort of peas cooked with pork and rice. Fried plantains.

You forgot the sugar or chocolate sprinkles on toast for breakfast!!

but what do you do when you try to get a child to eat healthy and his mother (who happens to be your parent as well) tells him he doesn't have to??

Well, since you asked! For your own sanity, you might want to keep in mind what 12-steppers do: you can only change yourself, you can't change anyone else. Realizing that we don't have control in a situation can help us emotionally by bringing us into line with reality. And, anyway, the more we try to control someone else, the more they resist. It's human nature. Pushing doesn't work. An analogy: you know that door that you're pushing and pushing trying to open? -- well, once we stop pushing at it and stand back, we give it enough room to open out to us. Which saves us a tremendous amount of energy!

I know you care about your little brother, but, really, you can only look after yourself. And, by doing that, you're being a great example for him. Actions are what counts anyway, not words.

[Sharon in Colorado]

I have 3 children, and the younger one often wants to do what the other does. If the older eats something weird but likes it, the younger follows suit. So it got me to thinking that if you were to make some of these recipes, like the banana ice cream, or some kind of truffle, or just sit down and eat a lovely ripe juicy dripping peach with a couple of moans, you lil' bro will be curious enough to see what all the hoo-haw is about.

The best you can do is set the example. It would be easier for you to do this for your bro than most people can do for their family members outside of their own homes, since you live together and all.