I started raw last May, so have been about 95% raw until October when my mom came to visit. I completly went off raw. I was getting bored with the foods, I was craving hot soups and stews with the colder weather, and then she came and BAM!! Margaritas, quesadillas, vanilla lattes, potato chips, everything BADDDDDD! I felt (and continue to feel) horrible. I just used the visit as an excuse to go nuts and binge, binge, binge! I never realized how intense my food issues were until this raw journey.
I don't know exactly why, I don't blame my mom though I have been exploring what about the emotions and dynamics with her led me to take this plunge into the cooked food world that I so want to avoid. I also think I was feeling badly about how skinny I was getting. Now, I have gained 6 lbs in a week and believe me when I say, it is not a good 6 lbs! I was also going through a lot of emotions which was a good thing, but I KNOW that I have been eating badly to sabotage myself and keep myself in that comfort zone. I could feel major transformation taking place and it scared me, I think.
I just got back from my bookclub and ate like 3 brownies and lots of other stuff that was 180 degrees from raw!! I am sleeping horribly, am breaking out again, have shoulder and back pain and a big fat headache right now!
Oh, I feel weak. The good thing is that I am not overcome with feelings of failure and guilt and woe is me thoughts. I am honestly looking at what is going on and thinking, Okay, Kirsten, when are you going to make the choice to value your self, see your beauty and worth and honor your divine self by feeding your body, mind, and spirit pure foods that nourish you. foods you deserve!!
I realize that I am in a cycle of creating pain so I can then say, OH look I can't do this. I am just too weak-willed. I guess I am just a failure. Then, use that as an excuse to stay the same as the large majority of human beings who abuse themselves and do not see their amazing potential and divine beauty!!!!
I am praying and meditating on this daily. I know I will make the right decision. Please hold me in your thoughts and all others that may be experiencing similar feelings.
P.S. By the way, I haven't seen RP on here recently? Is she okay? I have been thinking about her a lot lately. What a beautiful soul.
RP has vacated for a couple of weeks.
Originally Posted by rawnpawgirl
You need to do your FIRST WORKS over. You need to go back to what made you Fall in Love with RAW, again. You need to READ all the RAW Books you have, and if this is the direction you truly want to take, it will happen.
When your Body begin to change, don't shun it, embrace your New Body. Use the Mirror as your tool. If you think you Look Good, CASE CLOSED, no one else gets a vote.
All the food you have been binging one ,CAN BE MADE IN A RAW FORM. So lets go for a nice LONG Walk and think about it. Exercise clears your mind.
I wish you everything you need to Stay RAW...........................
Certified LIVING ON LIVE ,RAW FOOD Chef...........
Our PLANET is so Precious. God created this and its up to us to respect it. Did you know the Water we use today is the same water Moses used? RECYCLE everything you can at least once.... Let's keep this going...........
Hey, you sound like me a few weeks ago. I backslid for like two months over the summer, and felt HORRIBLE but just couldn't stop eating the crap. Yup, I was visiting family. It messed up my sleep, my asthma, my sinuses, all my old health problems came creeping back.
You KNOW what to do, it's just that getting your momentum back is REALLY hard. Most of us have been there.
Why not do a 3-day orange juice fast to jumpstart yourself back into eating raw food. During those 3-days, stock up on raw stuff and immerse yourself in all your old raw books and websites. Maybe get a new book for encouragement.
It's been six weeks since I started eating raw again and I feel great. You will too, just get yourself going. The first few days are the hardest, then you'll have your momentum back. And in no time this whole "hellish descent" back into cooked food will just be a fading memory. :)
haul that hammer up over your shoulder.
swing bolder, and bolder.
Swingbolder, thanks so much! I REALLY appreciate you and your honesty! I just love your descriptive words--- HELLISH DESCENT--- sooooo true, that is exactly what it has been! You are right on, and I will get my momentum back, soon, and you will be certain to hear all about it!
Spicyfull-- I am right there on that long walk, then I will come home to a nice juicy piece of raw fruit munch away! thanks!
Set small goals and keep them. Your heartfelt goals / decisions should take precedent over your feelings and any story you tell yourself about your life. When you are busy living your goals (which is work enough! ha! ha!) the stagnant energy of your story will be converted to true motivation....as you allow yourself your so-called errors.
-Love, respect and support,
-David Z. Mason
You can do it!!! Write down a list of all the raw things that you really, really love to eat and go over it often so that you can feel abundant and nourished when you think of raw. Keep on praying and doing your affirmations. Remember that the pleasure in cooked food is so fleeting: how long does it take to eat a cooked meal? Half an hour? Maybe an hour if you really stretch it out? Remind yourself that one hour of pleasure is not worth a day or more of feeling sick, out of sorts, irritable and grumpy. It's just not worth it. Work on your emotional eating by trying to figure out what triggers it and developing real, positive coping skills. You can do it!!!
Swingbolder, rawnpaw girl--
I had a 2 1/2 month backslide this summer, too! Unlike you, RawnPaw, I blamed everyone and everything around me. I was not being honest with myself and I wasn't looking at what the real issues were. You're far ahead of me.
I think we have to sometimes go through these times and adress these challenges. If raw makes sense for you, I believe you will know that in your gut and come back to it in your own way and time.
Its weird. I keep expecting myself to backslike and yet foods I used to binge on don't taste good to me. I've got sad food in the house for the relatives tommorrow. I tasted some cheese - it just didn't do anything for me. I am not looking at any of the thanksgiving food with relish. (I ordered it already cooked - all I have to do is heat it up.) I think that because I do so much greens (greens smoothies during the day and green juice for dinner) that I am so mineralized that SAD food doesn't have a hold on me. I have learned that good tasting cooked veggies increase my appetite. YEsterday I had some grilled veggies at a restuarant and I was hungry all day. I am 80% - the 20% cooked is usually veggies at restaurants. It strickly for social reasons. I am thinking of going 100% raw after the holidays - I just dread "being different" around friends.
Raw Magwene- I do believe we have to go through this muck and mire sometimes to see the *light* at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I envy those people who just seem to flow straight to 100% with no challenges, or whose biggest challenges are to eat a few too many nuts for a few months!!! Grrrrr....
No, I can't do it that simply. I do welcome what I am going through as sometime that is very needed to become a more conscious person. Raw really is so much more than the food.
I know exactly how you feel. I've seriously backslid myself, something I never thought would happen. I'm confident that I'll get back on track next week. I've come too far to sabotage myself and downgrade my health and fitness level. I know cooked and processed food is addictive and I'll have to break the addiction in order to start enjoying raw foods again.
Don't give up, you'll be stronger for the experience. Good luck!