I need support please?

[dreamrawalwz]

First i want to say I'm not, but I feel like a complete failure. I had cooked on Monday and that triggered a binge of sorts. Tuesday I was raw, but fought cravings ALL day. This morning the cravings were SO intense. I binged already this morning. I don't want to go down this path again this winter. HELP! Luckily the foods I craved are now gone so they aren't tempting. I just feel so gross physically and mentally. I realized the other day that when i say i hate myself, I really don't hate me THAT much because i respect my body with raw. Well, honestly, i think that eating cooked is a form of punishment towards myself. I say to myself, "screw it,you don't deserve raw food..." I'm such a hypocrite. I see everyone excelling,while I was raw for 8 months and now I'm not...

[goodbeets]

DearDRW, I too have more trouble as winter comes. I wonder if it is due to the change in light and heat and when the sense of depression comes it makes us want to comfort ourselves and we know how to do this better with cooked than with raw? If we lived 400 years ago we would not have grains and comforts to fall back on. It would still be greens, dried fruits and meats, and lots of tea. I have been really wanting to make squash soup, do you think that that might be ok? Maybe doing simple vegan and some cooked? I can see why people would do much better in the tropics on a raw diet. I have found the foods that really make me feel awful are grain based and processed so I try and stay away. I am drawn to dark leafygreens and dulse a lot now. I have been rolling a couple leaves of dulse into a bite sized amound and wrapping it with a small piece of fruit leather. Just the right amount of sweet/salty and loads of minerals. Just hang in there. Are you able to get into the sunlight at all? Also , the lightbulbs that simulate natural light may help. Just remember, the only constant is change and unless we move to a more tropical climate we may have to make a few adjustments and look forward to spring.

[PixieLed]

Hang in there DRA! *hugs hugs* We've all been there, in fact I had some cooked food the other day and now I can't stop thinking about it! I hate how addictive it is - but that's what you need to remember: you're fighting an addiction. This is an idea from Jinjee's newsletter (paraphrased): So why not create a new addiction, but a healthy one, to raw foods you like. For example, buy some grapes or some oranges (or whatever you really like) but don't eat them right away. Keep thinking about them every time you crave some cooked. Then after the next morning reward yourself for not having eaten cooked by eating your new "craving foods".

Stay strong, we're all in this together!

[DavidZaneMason]

I hear you.

NEVER compare yourself to someone else, some guru, or even your own idea of what you think you SHOULD be doing. This distracts you from doing what you are willing and prepared to do TODAY and EVERY DAY. This is enough work! Ha! ha!

-If you are having large cravings or are uncomfortable....then you are trying to deviate too quickly! Go back to a level of eating where you are VERY comfortable....set smaller goals...and stretch from there.

-You'll always get great support and suggestions from the wonderful folks on this board (including myself).

-Power and success to you.

-David Z. Mason

[ShelShel]

On Oct 31, 2006, I had a wisdom tooth pulled...ouch! AND after being 100 %raw for about a month and a half without the slightest urge for cooked. I ate it. I ate one warm bowl of soup on that night and one warm one the next day. (Simply because I was in so much pain...the room temp...cold raw...was killing me. We all have our reasons for slip ups. But the fact is...the soonest I could stand the temperature change...I went straight back to raw. So, I had two bowls of cooked soup! SEND OUT THE RAW PATROL!!! Seriously, this is a lifestyle choice. You have to chose it. You can do it...you've already proved you can. Don't beat yourself up...get back on the wagon and go full throttle. Make up for the lost time and throw in some exercise to boost your emotional state and get those endorphines flowing! It's ok to fall off...it's not ok to give up! Keep on...keeping raw! Raw (((HUGS)))

[Indi]

I find the changing season a little more challenging.
For me to stay raw, i have had to come to terms with the fact that i have to accept my 'slip ups' and move on! its all part of the journey.

I have learnt to be more gentle with myself.
I still have my difficult days.
I know that when i get stressed or premenstrual i will make the wrong food choices.

I try hard to plan for these events by keeping rp's brownies in the freezer and some crunchy comfort dehydrated munchies at hand!

The key for me is recognising my behaviour, then ask myself if i really want to make that food choice.
Sometimes the answer is Yes ,i eat a little, notice how that makes me feel and then move on!

I have 100% days / months/weeks. Sometimes I don't achieve this.
I refuse to feel a failure even though my target is 100%!

I do understand how important raw milestones are and how devastating it feels to slip up and binge.

I know that once i actually gave myself permission to slip up and no longer felt under pressure to stay 100%, i suddenly realised it was actually easier to do!
Adopting this approach also prevents the binge eating that often followed a slip up.

All i can say is that this is working for me.
big hugs........ :)

[GlimR]

dreamrawalwz~
It is a journey...being mindful and aware of what you are doing is a huge step...every new moment is a fresh start. I went off raw some time ago...won't even mention what I was doing...I feel horrible physically since then and know I need to be raw once more for health and sanity. So...start now...surround yourself with what YOU need to be good to yourself. Wishing you every strength and bright blessing on your way~

Indi~
There is much gentle wisdom in your post...thanks for that~

[JinxieKat]

Dreamrawalz,
We are all human and this is a continuing journey. You cannot break the habits of a lifetime in a moment, all you can do is move foward into your new habits and life by forgiving and loving yourself. One thing that really helped me was reading the book, 'You can heal your life' by Louise Hay. If you prefer to listen to things versus reading she has a book that comes with a CD called 'You can do it' or you can get her affirmation kit that has the same CD as part of it. What Louise taught me is that I am a wonderful person that is worth loving, and so are you! If you keep saying to yourself that you hate yourself or that your not worth it you will continue to have problems, you will break your commitments to yourself, and you will continue to feel awful about yourself. Try to change that thought when you think it. Dismiss the negative thoughts as old ones that you no longer belive and then change it into something good! 'I hate myself' turns into 'I love myself' and it makes such a difference in everything.

You are a wonderful person who deserves the best, you can only give yourself the best when you know that you deserve it. Otherwise you will sabotage yourself over and over. I've been doing that to myself for years, I can empathise with your fustration.

I wish you the best!

Jinx

[exurb]

dream, try reading the book "What Happy People Know." It is written by a psychologist at Canyon Ranch. I am thinking it might help you. It's not that expensive, available in paperback.

[dreamrawalwz]

Thank you everyone. Yesterday I had the mindset of "screw it. I messed up this morning I may as well eat cooked tonight." Now, all I had was steamed organic veggies and some organic beans, but still...I felt SO heavy and still do. I'm trying to detox this quickly. Hopefully I don't fall pray to my cravings again. I at least made it this far into the winter months so I should look at the more positive side instead of the negative. I'm craving my carrots and grapes now :) Yumm. haha. The cooked doesn't even taste good and I always dose it with salt it seems. Yuck! I need to go cold turkey again. So, the count so far is 3 slip ups in close to 9 months...hopefully it'll just stay like that!

[brwnrawgirl]

Keep a journal during this time, pay attention to those internal cues.