My dear friend sent this to me, when she heard of my breakup with my beloved, and it has helped me so much.
The way I choose to look at this entire situation, is that I fell in love with a dream, not a real person, as he was not whom I thought he was, and that dream is now gone, so I choose to mourn that dream of my knight in shining armour, who saved his lady fair, and I choose to allow he being who took over his body to continue on, to be totally released from my exsistance, and I wish him well in his choices.
But my man, my beloved has died in my eyes, and that is the only way that I can go on, for I surely would have died of grief, had I believed anything else.
COMES THE DAWN
After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company does not mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents are not promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and eyes wide open
With the wisdom of an elder, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads
On today, because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans,...and futures
Have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you'll learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn and learn...
With each goodbye, you learn.
A beautiful reminder.
Christine, I know inside you know this yet... here goes.
What you experienced was you, loving someone. It's great, isn't it? Now, ask yourself this question (and it may be too early) yet, knowing what you know now, would you rather have had this experience with Dragggon than not?
Maybe you can see this as a stepping stone to your next (and possibly last,) great love?
I know when Bryce left me, I cried almost every night for a month. Those nights slowly tapered off over the next two months until I could sleep through the night. It seemd Sundays and nights were the hardest to get through. Is it that way for you as well?
If Bo and I ever split, I know I'd grieve yet, thinking about it, at this time, I'd have to say I'd cherish every moment we had together; I'd grieve for as long as necessary and celebrate the grief as part of my life, part of my growth, part of my loving of Him and of myself ~ and then move on.
I send you thoughts of peace and celebration w/in your grief. Just know, this too shall pass.
*hugs to you*
Oh yes, I am so happy that I did have this experience with Dragggon, I have never felt so loved and cherished in my life, and it was him reflecting my love back to me.
And now that he is no longer in my life, there is a big empty space, that is slowly filling up with other things, experiences and joys, friends, companions, dates and happiness.
I will always love what we had together, the plans the experiences and the fun, the joy, the laughter, he was my best friend for almost 5 years, that is what I miss the most, the talking.
So, I loved what we had, and I am moving on, at the perfect pace for me.
I still love men that were in my life decades ago, and I'm sure I will continue to love the Dragggon that I knew (not the one now) for all eternity.
thanks so much for your caring, I so appreciate you.
I've learned things the most when my life has been turned upside down. It is funny that way. Somehow when things go well all the time I don't grow as much.
My life was pretty steady when we ived in California. We didn't have any serious problems, or any huge ups or downs. Things went well, we existed, were happy - everything was honkey-dorey.
Then my beloved was laid off, we moved here to the Springs, we experienced wealth, then bankruptcy, broken relationships, stress, happiness. It has been so up and down however I don't think I've grown so much in 3 years' time. It is almost like I'm a baby again growing so rapidly in my first 3 years.
It's also like a flower, which requires heat, water, food, etc. It has to readjust each morning and night by opening and closing itself to the changing conditions, having to use its energy to absorb the water, the nutrients of the soil, etc. But then it becomes a beautiful flower.
So just knowing that in time you are going to be blossoming more than ever should hopefully bring more peace to your heart.
Raw Step by Step
"We can do anything we want to do if we stick with it long enough." Helen Keller
Thanks for sharing RP. My mom gave me that poem when I first got divorced a while ago and I "kind of" got it, but only from where I was in my life at the time. Now It means even more and I understand it more deeply.