LONELY food friends!
When I was eating SAD, I had my favorite friends, they were many types of cooked food, all comfort foods, most from my childhood, most in boxes, and cans, or frozen, most of them were soft, and warm and full of wheat and dairy.
I am going through many major life changes right now, my emotions go up then down, and I am allowing them to do what they need to do to heal, to grieve, to release, to renew.
In the past, I would be watching TV with a bowl of SAD ice cream and mac and cheese, any wheat and dairy I could get, and feeling really terrible, sleeping all day, and talking to my friends all night, and basically doing nothing to help myself "get through the other side" of my emotional pain.
But now that I am eating RAW, I don't have those warm comfort "from childhood" friends to fall back on, and this is what I have discovered.
I can allow my feelings to be what they are, but that doesn't mean I need to be a masochist, and dwell on anything.
I can laugh, even when I am hurting emotionally, especially at playful animals, black and white movies, and my own thoughts.
My companion animals are precious and always loving.
I have true friends, I never knew I had (on this board and in my non-cyber life) (thank you Revvell for your offer of caring--and everyone who posted and emailed me)
I can allow this process as long as it needs, and I don't NEED to make my physical body ill in the process.
When one door closes another door opens, and although I may not see that right now, it is there for me, when I am ready.
Working 20 hours a day is NOT a relationship with anyone or anything.
Changing your lifestyle while in a relationship, can cause you to re-think that relationship, and cause your partner to no longer "feel" right for you.
As you grow, many people no longer serve your highest and best purpose.
Being with like minded friends helps you stay focused on what you really want.
Just because there is no one around, doesn't mean you need to feel lonely. In fact you can be very lonely even when you are with someone.
Food is not your friend, it is fuel for your body, it is enjoyable, it is fun to play with, and can be joyful in it's own right, without having to numb your feelings.
Feeling your feelings is a good thing, it helps you to understand where you are now, and where you've been and where you wish to go, on your life's path.
Pleasure comes in many forms. (peeeeeeeeeachezzzzzzz) say it out loud!
Joy comes in many forms, friends, companion animals, a beautiful sunrise, sleeping in a big bed with a soft comforter, a warm shower in the morning, cool breezes on a hot summer's day, talking to friends, re-connecting with old friends, giving presents, etc.
Life is a journey, and not one ounce do I wish to miss. I revel in each and every step I take on my life's path.
I would never give up my learnings to have a "safe" or "easy" life.
and above all, I choose to
LIVE LIFE WITH PASSION!!
This is so beautiful RP! Thanks so much for sharing. You have completely captured how to live life on it's own terms and be willing to deal with reality rather than numb oneself out with food. This can be so challenging at first but the rewards are amazing. Feelings are not that difficult if we don't run from them. Learning to feel and express our emotions is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and the more we do it, the less we will want to turn to food for false comfort.
I appreciate and respect your courage so much. I know you will feel a million times better than ever soon! :-)
All the best,
Bless your heart Christine! Your words of wisdom during these major life changes for you will help all of us as we cross various paths in our own lives. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sending you love and hugs as you go through this new phase in your life. Every new beginning starts with some other beginnings end... I just love this saying.
Certified Living on Live Food Chef!
(Thank for Alissa for your fabulous certification program!!)
You go gurl! AND my offer stands. For me, nights and Sundays were the hardest. Grieving is like detox, once you're into it then through it, the sun shines even brighter.
Yes, I think life's challenges are much "easier" with certain frames of mind such as how you described. You go girl! You can do anything!
hey grrl, looks like you are pushing through the emotional detox. congrats! I had them last time I went raw , but only a very small one this time around. looking forward to big one myself. I know they tend to be tough, but they feel oh sooo good afterwards!
Thank you so much for that post. Everything that you said has been stuff I have been thinking about myself. It was so healing to hear. I am so sorry about what you are going thru. We will be there for ya! We all love ya!
Wow what a beautiful post Rawpriestess. absolutely beautiful.
It surprised me to see that I, too, started looking at things in this way since going raw. I didn't realize that it might have anything to do with my food choices. Actually I was rather baffled as to why I can see things so differently now, and why I can stop myself from becoming depressed. Before I was extremely sensitive (and still am, just differently) and any word or look or movement from my family and sometimes my peers could set me off. I would wonder why they did that. I would think they hated me. I never felt as if I were actually LIKED by any one. I felt that no one wanted to be around me or talk to me, and thus I was burdening them for talking or even existing. I never really thought this conciously...but looking back I can see myself for the way I was. Now I am more confident in myself. I still cannot help feeling like a burden on people often, becaues of the way many people react to me....but I am working on this. Sorry, I got way off topic. Your post just really opened my eyes, my brain, my heart, my unconcious. or something like that. Thank you for this post Rawpriestess. may you continue to live your life with passion...I believe someday you will truly thrive...
you deserve to be bathed in joy and love. you deserve to be completely healthy. you deserve to be able to live your life to the fullest. And I believe that you have it in you to do so.
"Once we have reached our destiny we understand that it is different from the dearest wishes of the beginning, it is much deeper, broader, sometimes greater...either we understand or we sail on, and on, and on."
I guess I never looked at food as a friend. In fact I think I tend to go the opposite way and think of it as evil. Well, some of it anyway. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I remember crying for days because I couldn't figure out what to eat. I walked through the grocery store with nothing more than a head of cabbage in my cart because I knew that was safe to eat. I couldn't even tell what was safe among the fruits and vegetables because the dietician I saw (not a very good one I might add) told me I shouldn't eat peas. No reason other than that other things were better for me. As I looked at the various displays of food on the shelves, I actually saw the word "Poison" spelled out in big black letters on them. I've always been told that I have an overly active imagination. And it's true!
Things have gotten better since then, but I still visualize some food in this way. And so does my 8 year old daughter. I don't think I really trained her to do this but she must have picked it up from me subconciously or something. Just the other day we were admiring some cakes and cupcakes in the grocery store. They had icing roses on them that were very realistic even down to the size of them! But never once did it cross our minds to want to eat them. We just thought they were beautiful.
Perhaps my diabetes and our food allergies are blessings in some ways. When dining out, grocery shopping or even deciding on a meal at home, there are countless scores of foods that our mind just passes right by. We don't even think about it.
I know not everyone is this way. I know other people with food allergies who keep eating that which they are allergic to. They make all sorts of excuses why they do so. I just can't think like that. It doesn't seem right.
As for "friends", I have many. And not all of them human. I love animals. I have only the one cat as a pet. But there are all sorts of animals in my backyard and I talk to them on a daily basis. My plants are my friends too. And then there is my writing. I know I can always turn to that.
When I was first married, we moved from WA to MA. I didn't know a soul there. I felt totally out of place. Everything about me. Here I was wearing faded demin and tie dye in a sea of polyester and penny loafers. I was in my 30's and living on a military base where everyone seemed to be just beyond teenage years or was a senior citizen. I seemed to have nothing in common with anyone. I tried to go to potlucks with the other wives, but again, I felt like I had nothing in common with them. Almost all of them had kids. Their concerns were not my concerns. Their conversations bored me and I certainly didn't like sitting around all that chemically laden psuedo food they so seemed to enjoy.
And then winter struck. My husband was overseas and I was all alone, snowed in and broke. I'd spent all my money on furniture and appliances for our new home and had been unable to find a job before winter struck. We were living on Cape Cod at the time. It's a highly seasonal area. Most of the jobs are for the spring summer and part of fall only. I didn't have enough money to call my human friends very often because all of those calls were long distance. Didn't have much money for postage to write letters to them. I didn't even have a computer back then. But I had a pen and I had paper. So I wrote. I wrote and wrote and wrote. It kept me sane through that bleak winter. Sometimes you just have to look inside and find the strength from within. It's always there. Just not always easy to find.
You are a true Goddess in every way, shape and form of the word.
Joy and peace to you.
HW: 184 pounds
SW: 179.2 pounds on May 23rd
CW: 164.4 pounds (14.8 pounds released!)
GW1: 170 pounds MET! :p GW2: 160 pounds :cool: Final Goal: 130 pounds
Certified LIVING ON LIVE ,RAW FOOD Chef...........
Our PLANET is so Precious. God created this and its up to us to respect it. Did you know the Water we use today is the same water Moses used? RECYCLE everything you can at least once.... Let's keep this going...........
Your writings teach us and heal us everyday. You are truly a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing so much of YOU with us. The best is yet to come. Big Hugs.........Jen
Certified Living On Live Foods Teacher