Greetings RFT family,

I have been keeping more silent than I used to in the past...trying to keep out of debating-type discussions and trying to allow people to express themselves more without interfering as we are often accused of "too much censorship" and "not allowing free speech".

Well, I realize that we have freedom of speech but I also believe there is a line and that free speech was NOT intended to be used to hurt and offend others...at least not here.

There have been some threads/discussions where people have been passionate but it has been coming across to others (not just the parties involved, but I've even gotten emails from other, lurking members mentioning this) as being harsh, rude and mean.

I think that what happens is, sometimes we forget that the Internet doesn't allow us to have eye contact or to hear tones in voices and sometimes we say things that aren't necessarily bad, but it's just HOW we say it...yall heard the saying, "It's not what you say but how you say it".

I also realize that not everyone in the world is "sappy sweet"...there are those who are just blunt...period. I have met people like this in my real life experiences who are very short, blunt, to-the-point, don't sugar-coat and they are often pegged as mean; but they will give the shirt off their backs and they're always there whenever you need them. So, they're not bad people or mean people, they just have a certain "way" of coming across to people that most don't know quite how to take.

So, I'm saying all that to say this...we don't have to change who we are (i.e. become this sappy sweet person if that's just not our character) but we can try and be just a tad bit more cautious with our words and how we say things to people or...as most of our mom's taught us..."if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all". If someone writes something in a thread that is just eating you up and you KNOW that what you say might come across harshly, maybe skip that thread for the time being and perhaps come back to it.

I've said this before, that I oftentimes have to do this. I'll read something and my eyes get to rolling and I start smacking my lips/sucking my teeth and I get irritated and might even verbally say what I WANT to write...but don't write it. There is no reason that we can't be cordial even if that means not saying much. I know yall HATE feeling like you can't express your true thoughts and opinions or that you are being censored or moderated too heavily...but we have enjoyed having a wonderful overall tone on this board for the past 2 years I've been here and there's no reason that has to change under the guise of "free speech" and the "right to say whatever one feels like spouting out".

So all in all...let's just please try to be a little gentler in our words (not saying you have to hand-hold and coddle anyone if that's not your bag) but just try expressing yourself and your passion with a little less attitude and roughness.

Thanks for listening to (reading) this and (hopefully) complying with it! :) Just please think about what I've said guys. Thanks.

Blessings,

Cherie