Out of Balance

[Gwendolene]

See: My Journal

This is a long one, so settle in...

In the past when I would give in to a craving for cooked food, the floodgates would open and I would go on an uncontrollable cooked binge (sometimes for days). Usually, the food tastes over cooked and generally icky, but I can't stop eating it! Then I feel sort of shrivled and dehydrated afterwards.

The past few days I've felt completely exhasted and a bit meloncholy (physiological response to the exhastion which started first). So yesterday, I couldn't shake the gut feeling that my body was out of balance and needed cooked food. Not a craving, at least not in the usual way, more like a strong gut feeling... difficult to explain, but there definately was a difference with this one!

So I finally gave in and ate fried maize mixed with water. Didn't put anything on top, just straight. It tasted really good (as opposed to 'cooked') and it was as if someone had hit the 'reset' button on my body. I felt energized and healthy, yet with no real desire to eat any more cooked food.

But then, I talked myself into eating a pan of ooey gooey brownie mix in the cupboard, after which my blood sugar got seriously screwed up and I could feel the sugar in my veins, yuck!

Here's the really weird bit, I woke up this morning feeling super energized and craving raw food like never before, almost like I have a renewed biological committment to it. Cooked food has absolutely no appeal to me. Also, my acne which had been getting worse had miraculously dried up... so that got me thinking, did my body need the fried maize somehow?

I'm thinking it might have something to do with my cycle, since that's when most of my cravings & binges happen... but this didn't seem at all like a craving... any thoughts?

[shakti17]

i have experienced exactly what you have described -- the past few days!

i struggle with my goal of being 100% raw, which is not happening, so i feel like a failure, then i eat dead foods to match my failure mentality. I told myself on saturday - ok, it is not happening now and that's ok - stop setting unattainable goals (when i do not think about my diet, or set goals of "all raw" i naturally eat high raw anyway - but for some reason when i tell myself "you must be 100%!" i go on a serious unhealthy pattern of eating - i think because i am a rebel by nature! i just realized that - i have always rebeled against ANYTHING that was a rule at all - so of course if i make a 100% rule i will do the opposite! )

wow, thanks for helping me realize that - but back to your post, so when i accepted that my body wanted cooked (i was craving brown rice and steam veggies and herb tea, which makes sense because i was flying off the wall and totally needed grounding), my unhealthy binge has stopped. so i ate regular meals yesterday (i mean the "3 meals a day", all vegetarian) and today I just naturally want raw foods.

so exactly what you described happened to me, and it could be hormonal, i don't know the answer to that one.

[rawpriestess]

I used to rebel against anything too, then I FINALLY realized that I was rebelling against myself, not anyone or anything else.

Once, I realized that this is NOT a diet, or a diet center, where someone is requiring me to follow their rules, it became so much easier.

So, I am rebelling against the SAD rules, not the RAW rules. LOL

You see, when you finally "get it" that this is for you, and about you, and there is NO RAW POLICE, then you understand that the ONLY rebellion is against yourself.

I grew up in the 60's no one rebelled more. LOL

So, when you are ready, and NOT a second before, you will "get it" and you will no longer wish to rebell against yourself.