Toilet/potty training...

[BDraw]

Hey, I have a seven year old that still isn't potty trained. Now before you get all weired on me, I must tell you that he is Down's Syndrome. I couldn't believe when he was 6 months old, we visited a friend with a 8 year old Down's daughter who was being potty trained that summer. I was shocked!!! I just knew that my child would be trained before that age! Now I laugh at me, cause we are in the same boat.

And yes, I am so tired of the smell, the mess, and the cost. But it will happen when he is ready. I just hope it is soon!

So......count your blessings! Though I must close with this last comment, my little guy is a true blessing, in ways I never imagined -- he is pure joy! Just wish he could talk and go potty!

[Purl]

Special children make the smallest accomplishments feel like true triumphs! I can recall when my oldest first peddled a bike. I asked him to do it over and over. For about 3 days I would burst into tears everytime he got on that bike. (2 weeks after his birth the doctors had thought he would be paralyzed or need his legs amputated.) I still tear up thinking about that magical day when he got on his bike. I'm such a cry-baby ninny! LOL!!

Just wait-he will do it-and then it will seem light years behind you. :)

[sweetgoddess]

You are all BEAUTIFUL mommies!!

[Webby]

Both my boys started using the toilet at two and were fully "toilet trained" (bizarre term) by 2 1/4. I did not actively toilet train either of them and have been so lucky to escape with no dramas or unpleasantness in this area (Thank God!) Both still wet the bed (age 2 1/2 and 5 1/2)

I think the reason most people hope to toilet train around two is to avoid it becoming a battle of wills or a game with a 2 1/2 - 4 year old. Under two they are still in parent pleasing mode and it is a bit of a window of opportunity.

I think I just felt that window shut down on my fingers...need a splint here lol

[Webby]

Special children make the smallest accomplishments feel like true triumphs! I can recall when my oldest first peddled a bike. I asked him to do it over and over. For about 3 days I would burst into tears everytime he got on that bike. (2 weeks after his birth the doctors had thought he would be paralyzed or need his legs amputated.) I still tear up thinking about that magical day when he got on his bike. I'm such a cry-baby ninny! LOL!!

Just wait-he will do it-and then it will seem light years behind you. :)

Aww Purl...you have me tearing up with you *sniff sniff*

[ljcoolj]

With my first son, who is now 10, he was well over 3 before he was trained. I now have a 2 1/2 yr. old and I swore I'd get him trained earlier. So, I started training prior to his 2nd birthday but he didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with it. So, I let it go. Now, at 2 1/2 he goes on the potty here and there, not all the time, but he's getting the hang of it. He'll do it on his own and I don't really care when that happens..it will happen. I felt so much pressure to potty train him early because all my sister kept saying 'was both of my kids were potty trained by the time they were 2'. Well, good for them. I finally told her to put a sock in it and if its so important to her then she can take him for a week and train him. She hasn't said anything since...ha ha ha!! I don't see what the big deal is, they all eventually train on their own.

[Conscious Midwife]

My oldest girls were trained before 2.5 yrs of age.

My oldest son trained before 2 but had night time accidents on occassion

My toddlers now 2.5 and 3.5 both wear pullups to bed, sometimes they are dry, sometimes they are not. My 3.5 daughter goes well most days, but has occassional accidents, I think we are on the go to much and we are both germaphobes. My 2.5 son thinks daytime toilet use is a game, he plays when he wants too.

I'm occassionally embarassed by the delay, but I don't pressure them. Childhood is stressful enough especially considering they will have to be in car seats for another 5 years!

[rawpriestess]

another thing to look back to nature for guidance.


I was lucky, my son was in nursery school, I guess you call it day care now, and his teacher was a wonderful French woman who dearly loved kids, so she potty trained him, it was easy with a bunch of them all going at the same time, all lined up in their potty seats, and all being congratulated at the same time, etc.

So, I didn't do anything. LOL

but I do think it is important to look at the natural aspects of potty training.

first, in the ancient world, of whom humans are still a part, you wouldn't be wearing clothes, or garments, it would be warm and you'd be outside most of the day, no worries, just squat and go where ever you are, especially as kids, but of course now, we have clothes and potty chairs, that I think look kinda scary the toilet, again kind of scary, things dissapear in there, and it is big, cold, white and it it'w own separate room YIKES!!

where in the ancient natural world, you would be right beside freinds and family, (this would be comforting to a child, not so to us more modest adults -- which again is a social custom, not necessarily natural) and they would just go where ever they were.

I think natural is best, and easiest, so don't worry if your little one wants to be by you, and doesn't like that big white scary toilet, allow them to take there time to do what they do.

I wet the bed until I was about 8 or 9, my mom never said a thing to me a bout it, I didn't know other kids didn't, it was just something that I did.

and I wasn't developementally disabled or anything.

I was just afraid to get up at night, LONG STORY, and I was probably safer NOT getting up, but we'll go into that later.

allow the kids to make their own judgements, and they'll feel more empowered, especially when it is their own body.

now if it embarasses him, or upsets him, then that is another story

Rawkie, you are a great mom, your little one is such a gem. I just love him, he's so beautiful and sweet.

[Rawkinlocs]

Thank you RP, Lifeagift and everyone who had responded before when this thread was "fresh"!

Since this thread came back up I thought I'd give an update...MY LITTLE GUY IS GOING TOILET!!! YAAAAY!

We left him alone for quite a while and then one day my oldest daughter simply started telling him that if he'd wear his undies (I've always bought the training undies with the plastic undies that go on top), she'd take him outside. So, he thought for a moment and then said, "Okay!"

Then, she started coaxing him to use the potty. We then started keeping him in his undies all day and putting diaper on him only at night just in case. He will NOT go in his undies (unlike before when we tried that) and we've even had success with him wearing them all night with no accidents!

So, my baby boy is officially using the toilet now...I have one of those potty chairs that the seat can come off and fit right onto the big toilet so we started doing that. Now, whenever he has to go, he informs us and we take him and help him on. I think waiting until he was a little older was good for him and I'm glad we did...he's 3 1/2, will be 4 in December.

Wow...just noticed it was 5 months ago when I started this thread :) So it hasn't been too long ago!

[Conscious Midwife]

Congrats

What are you going to do with all that extra loot now that you don't have to buy diapers?

[Rawkinlocs]

Congrats

What are you going to do with all that extra loot now that you don't have to buy diapers?

Girrrl...TELL me about it! LOL! I'm just glad to be liberated from buying those things!

[SijaeintheRaw]

I made some effort to potty train my first son when he was 2.5 but he just wasn't ready so I let it drop and waited. On his third birthday we did a very structured few days where I set the timer for every 20 minutes and took him potty. After a few days I started phasing out the timer and encouraging him to go potty when he needed to. He was reliable at home within a couple weeks and reliable away from home soon after.

I tried to potty train my second son many times and he just was never ready. He would use the potty but would have frequent accidents. Poopy accidents went by the wayside first but he continued to have relatively frequent pee accidents even at school until 1st grade and even in 4th grade last year probably wet his pants 4-5 times. He just waits and waits and doesn't want to stop what he's doing to use the bathroom.

My third child was a girl and when she was about 18 months old and I hadn't even though about introducing the potty, she wanted to wear some overalls with no diaper. She was standing there and I knew by body language she needed to pee so I grabbed her up and we ran to the potty. We got there mostly in time and she loved the potty so much she never looked back. She was reliable about bm's and pee in the potty from 18 months to 2 years. Then she started going for play-dates at her great-grandmothers and regressed with pee accidents for a little while till she got comfortable using the potty there. After that she was fine although I had to carry her potty seat around with us for a while to put on the potties since she was afraid of the big seats.

As for bed wetting there are genetic factors and also the behavioral set that is typically called ADD or ADHD is associated with bedwetting too (although that can be considered genetic too). My father and mother both were late bedwetters and so was I. My father and I both wet our beds till we were 13. It was a big source of shame for me growing up. Both my boys wet their beds still at ages 10 and 11 and my daughter has been reliably dry at night since she was 2. In my experience it is something you just have to grow out of. The best thing you can do for a child that is having trouble either potty training or staying dry at night is to give them acceptance and not shame them ever.

Laura

[greeninlosangeles]

My son is almost three and we are working on it now. So this thread is useful for us too! So far I am just trying to catch it - he doesn't tell me before the fact.

[Live Free]

The first time she used the toilet was when she was about 18 months old. I had always changed her diapers in the bathroom since she was a baby. It just made sense to me.

I had bought her a toddler toilet that sang music when she flushed it. So she would have to use the toilet before it would make the noise. I am not sure how instrumental it was in her process to potty train.

She knows how to use the toilet, but I still have to buy diapers for her to use when she sleeps. She is still needing a cup to suck on when she goes to sleep. I am going to try working on breaking her of that. But I know this will take some time.

She will be 3 at the end of August. I would say she is potty trained, because she knows how to use the bathroom. She can even wash her hands by herself.

I have a little step stool for her to use, to help her get on the toilet by herself. She only uses the toddler toilet if the big toilet is being used.

However, the past few days she has been having accidents. So I put the diapers back on her. I had to change her outfits three times yesterday. We go back and forth with the underwear and the diapers. She sometimes gets ingrossed in something and doesnt want to take the time to use the bathroom.

I am also assuming that she is having a lot of stress over the past few months. My husband and I have been working in different states. So we havent seen each other.