Are People NICER To You When You Are Skinny?
Do people seem nicer to you when you're skinny? Do they tend to treat slender people better? Have you yourself ever found yourself looking at a really fat person with disdain? Such a temptation is only human, and we are not above human experience. Well, most of us, lol.
This question has crossed my mind a few times. I thought it would be interesting to see what others' impressions are? Experiences too?
Some say it's more "in your own head", how you feel about yourself, how you behave. ("How you behave" as being based on your own sense of worth or dignity, and because of that, you'll have higher expectations for yourself.) They say that others pick up on how you feel about yourself, and react accordingly. In other words, based on your own demeanor, good or poor, others will treat you the same as you project yourself. I think this is partially true. Others still have their choices, their attitudes, independent of how you affect them.
One obvious aspect to all this, is that of being attractive - a natural gift. I think it is safe to say that slender people are generally seen to be more attractive.
Then, it was wise Solomon who said, "He who neglects discipline despises himself". And so, it stands to reason that if one grows in discipline, that person will not despise himself/herself. (PLEASE do not despise yourself, regardless!!! It's not about that!)
But, do others despise an overweight person? At least subconsciously? We don't mean ALL people, of course. But, what is the general tendency?
Sure, there are some beautiful philosophical life-outlooks like "You're only pretty as you feel", "It's the heart that counts", "Never judge a book by its cover", etc. And there's something to be appreciated in such statements. But, how many folks have this attitude - in the real world?
Then comes a good question -- "Should I really care what others think about me?"
Maybe someone could explain this better, in psychological terms.. but my own sense is...
If what another thinks (negatively of me) can be handled in a way that is constructive and profitable for me, then by all means, I should care.
Kind of like "Don't get bitter, get better".
But, if someone cannot handle what others think at all - like "this whole thing is just too much of a bummer.. I cannot turn it around" -- then it would only be self-destructive to pay too much attention to what others say, think or do. And self-destruction is to be avoided at all costs.
I don't normally think of myself as overweight. I guess cuz in my mind, I'm still my skinny old self.
Mirrors lie. Cameras don't.
I've added some heft over the years, and I don't carry it well. Some folks look like a pear, others like an apple.. where most of it goes to the middle... then the torso.... then the face. Well, I'm the apple. And I can gain weight just by looking at a picture of food.
Or there's a "fat meeting" going on in town, and my body's the Convention Center.
I know my wife loves me, even with the unneeded love handles and extra wedding ring. We've talked about it now & then. And even though she loves me all the same, she would certainly delight in me more, to have back the slender husband of her youth.
I wanna be hubby, not flubby.
Also, I've noticed over the years that some of the relatives don't seem very nice to me anymore. (And I try very hard not to trip.. not to concoct things in my own mind.. if you know what I mean. And I've reached out to them, to overcome this kind of feeling.. to make sure it wasn't just my imagination. But after years of this, I still can't help the feeling -- it's NOT just my imagination.) It's gotten to where I don't even like to go to holiday get-togethers anymore.
That is, not until I've done my Rocky Balboa number and whipped myself back into shape. Can you hear the music? (Rocky theme plays in background. Lol.)
OK, maybe this sounds like buying others' acceptance, based on performance. I don't mean it as such. And, I don't think this is guilt or shame-based. I'm really doing this for myself, as a matter of self-respect.. for all the right reasons. I'm seeking that constructive response! :p
Does that make any sense?