Looking for comfort

I am about 3-1/2 weeks raw now. I've always had a weight problem and food addiction. I basically went from fast food to 100% raw. Last week I finally had a break through and realized that I want a raw lifestyle and not a diet. For me, the difference is letting go of seeing all my symptoms disappear overnight and also letting go of the guilt if I do have a few bites (or even a meal here and there) of cooked foods.

I have a new obstacle this week. I feel like I have lost my identity. I have two daughters, ages 5 and 8. Next year the little one is going to Kindergarten. This week alone I have stopped teaching religious education, being a leader for Girl Scouts, and quit teaching water aerobics. In two weeks, my mother will come visit. This will be her first visit in three years and the first one since she has somewhat acknowledged my abusive childhood. I am happy with all these changes. This is what I wanted. I have started volunteering with my naturopath and hope to eventually coach people on a raw lifestyle. My problem is that feel like I took away the main way I used to comfort myself, food. I don't want it back, but also don't know what to do right now. I realize now that being fat has always been a shield for me. Also, my husband's job is stessing him out right now and the kids are demanding a lot of attention so taking time for myself would be difficult. Is this a normal emotional cleanse? Anyone have any words of wisdom? I should also mention that I have my period and am feeling sensitive.

Elaina
http://elaina-goes-raw.blogspot.com

Well I have had a hard week and have only been raw for three days but i have or had a binge eating disorder and i stoped cold turkey monday its been really hard and only three days!!I am about 20 pound overweight and am addicted to SAD BAD food but ive been good about sticking to raw and you 3 1/2 months thats great!!
What i did last night and the night before with my 4 year old daughter was we listened to Enya in my bedroom with a candle lit and meditaded we also said a long prayer and it made time go by and felt really relaxing.this hard time will pass all things do stay strong!
Mia

To me, when I let go of food as a crutch ALL the issues I temporarily buried came up and still do at times but at a MUCH lesser degree. I would lfind a NON food way to take care of you--be it journaling, finding support via people who have similar issues, etc...

I KNOW it can be done and I can expound more via email if you wish.

HANG in there--feelings PASS..keep telling yourself that. I have been there and I have come through to the other side. Food to me is the WORST addiction since we still need to utilize it to live.


Patience is the key...
Blessings to your healing processes..
JMD

There's a book that I've just bought called "Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy". The author's name is Linda Spangle. I ordered it from amazon.com It's a self help book to give you the emotional tools to be successful with whatever dietary changes you make. You are taught to stop using food as the way you deal with stress, etc. I bought it because of the review I read, and I've copied and pasted that review here for you:

"Why didn't someone tell me about this book 13 years ago?, October 28, 2003
Reviewer: A reader (Denton, TX United States) - See all my reviews
By accident, I happened to find this book as I was using Google to search for information that might help me overcome emotional eating. I have tried many, many diets in the past, but none of them worked, because I would always start bingeing, and then I would gain more weight than I ever had before. Right now, I am about 110 pounds over my ideal weight.

I bought the Dr. Phil book earlier -- hoping that it would help me to figure out why I am so out-of-control on my eating. It was good in terms of presenting general information, but it didn't really give me any concrete and specific tools for helping me break my vicious cycle of emotional eating. I found the Dr. Phil book useless in terms of giving practical steps about how to get out of the very deep, dark hole that I am in right now.

I bought this book about 1 week ago. It is by far, the hardest book that I have ever read, because the exercises (and stories of others who had traveled down the same path) in the book forced me to face loneliness, grief, depression, fear of rejection, hopelessness about my future, past pain from abuse, etc. It was hard to face that which I had run away from -- and consistently avoided facing by stuffing myself with food.

Over this weekend, I put down the chocolate, and I faced the emotions associated with my depression head-on. I felt really, really bad for about two days as I cried about my life, but TODAY, the black cloud that has hung over me for most of my adult life has finally lifted.

The most amazing thing is that my food cravings are gone. I am no longer downing 6 chocolate turtles, one pint of Blue Bell Rocky Road, 1 pound of rice pudding, and 1 Red Baron Cheese pizza in ONE SINGLE MEAL. I was totally shocked to find that I did not have a SINGLE problem with ANY food cravings today, and I haven't felt deprived in any way. The compulsion to self-medicate with food is totally gone.

But best of all, I have been paralyzed by depression during the last 8 years. There are things that have needed to be done, boxes of cluttered files that I have needed to throw out, and changes that I have needed to make in my life -- other than losing weight.

Everything seemed so overwhelming that I never could seem to do these things. It was much easier to hide under the covers and sleep, watch TV, and eat the Blue Bell ice cream, than it was to face these impossible mountains of change. Or to come to terms with profound grief over something that happened 13 years ago.

Well, I am happy to report, that I finally started to tackle one of my biggest mountains this morning. I threw out boxes of files that were no longer needed, but that I couldn't seem to throw out, because they were my only connection to a much happier past. I also began to start thinking that perhaps I could change my life after all. It does not have to be like this; I do have the power to change my thinking -- and my life. I do have the ability to take baby steps to do what God is directing me to do -- in order to become the person that He created me to be -- not the half-dead shell of a person that I was only a few days ago.

In conclusion, this book is well-written, and well-worth the money spent. Besides the practical reflective exercises, Linda Spangle writes about her life, includes personal stories from some of her former clients, and she includes time-tested tools that have been shown to get many people over the emotional blocks that keep them from losing weight. It is written in such a way that the reader feels that Linda Spangle is talking to you over a cup of tea. It is well-worth the money spent, and I only wish that this book had been written 13 years ago!"

My copy just arrived yesterday (with shipping to Canada, it came to about $16.70), and I expect to get down to reading it early next week. If I find it helpful, I will certainly post about it.

All the best,
Judy

I too experienced this, and then sabotaged my efforts, because If I wasn't fat, then who was I?

I do have thousands of things that I DO, but that is different.

So, I really needed to work through my "stuff", once I started working through my "stuff" then eating raw was so much easier, because I was working through stuff, and it would come up so much easier when I was RAW.

At first, I manifested all of these issues with other people in my life reflecting what I needed to change about myself, and as each one was presented to me, my forgiveness of my own lack of perfection, helped me to forgive them for being so crappy to me. LOL

also, I was able to go through it to the other side, and see myself as I was in the past reflecting those old beliefs and behaviors.

Now, I can say, "That WAS me" and I can be so much more loving to the person who is doing whatever behavior that I no longer do.

It is a process, and raw really helps, me to become who I was under all the cooked food.

Hello. Ok...first, I am a stay at home mom of two children 7 and 10. Just went through kindergarten with my baby last year. The first week...have something to do with a good friend. Seriously. Meet them for an outing every single day. Invest in a cell phone if you don't have one...so, you know they can reach you any where and at anytime. This first week will feel the most strange and empty, but at the same time embrace your new found freedom! It will allow you to be a better wife, mother, friend...everything because it will give you the chance for some you time. Which you already mentioned you don't have time for right now. Just plan for the fall...be prepared and it will go smoothly.
Some of the stress is because you don't know how your child will feel. They are going to feel just how you show them they should. So, show them peace...and happiness. Bring them in the week school is suppose to start. Show them around school and let the older sibling help you. Introduce them to their new teacher. Let them feel like they know what they are doing and where they are going before that first day of school. I had the most clingy child you can imagine. They had no trouble at all saying good-bye that first day. It works and it made all the difference in my letting them go.
Secondly, when you are eating raw...there is no "dieting" anymore! :D Scratch that word right from your vocabulary. You eat...whenever you are hungry....and as long as it is raw you don't have to think about it or worry about it...or think...holy cow...I just over ate. :eek: There is no over eating. It took me months to understand this concept as I have dieted since I was 12 years old. Food is not my enemy, there is nothing wrong with my body...I'm not fat! I need to eat right and my body responds right and all is in balance. My hormones, my skin, my weight and my life. ;) I was just having lunch at a fav rest. with my sis and when the waitress who sees me once a week...took one look at me she said..."We are losing you! Where is the rest of you???" I've lost 13 pounds and honestly...I eat more than I ever thought I could. Stick with this...really do it and you will see the changes start to take place...you will hear your body start to crave healthy things...and here is the big one...you will really enjoy food. I love eating and don't hate myself for what I just put in my mouth. Food is no longer your enemy. So NO MORE DIETING!!! :D
When your spouse is stressed this is horrible. It really plays on your emotions...coupled with the period...girl you got things going on! Sorry. But be there as much as you can to relieve his day and you said you were religious...so, pray. Pray for him, his job, his protection...his joy! Everything and anything...prayer is by far the BEST medicine! :)
Now that I have written a book...I will leave you with one last thought. Your mother. Read the book, "Bad Childhood, Good Life" By Dr. Laura Schleshinger. (Hope I spelled her last name right...I've been loaning this book to anyone who will read it.) It has changed my life and my relationships with almost everyone in my life. ;) It will show you why you do the things you do, based on past events and how to overcome them to resolve your relationships and your life.
May God Bless you as you are seeking a better life! I hope and pray you find the comfort you need! (((HUGS))) ShelShel

I have heard that emotional detox is typical. I kind of had it and I began to feel like I was on another planet than my boyfriend.

k
:)

Ohhhhhhh!!!! So THAT's what that is. I thought I was just PMSing AND pregnant. wow. I sure didn't handle THAT emotional cleanse very well.

My poor hubby.

Huh.

I'll have to remember that next time.

Hello Elaina,

Congratulations on 3 1/2 weeks of RAW! That is really great.

I know how a major change can leave you feeling out of sorts. It can be a bit uncomfortable, but it is actually a very powerful place to be! I believe that feeling of uncertaintly is a place from which wonderous things can happen.

Personally, I find that this is the feeling I get when I step out of some rut that I am in. Not entirely sure of what to do, which is really the same as the world is my oyster. I think it is the feeling of change.

One thing that I like to try is to look around at my life and imagine that I am in a dream. If this is the dream I am in right now then what would I love to do. What adventure would I like to have. I especially like to do this when I am in a bad mood or frustrated (if I can remember). It really brings me around.

Anyway, enjoy your adventure
J

I am feeling so much better today. I know that there are a lot of underlying issues, but I really think that the major part of yesterday was a detox. Last night I got physically sick. I slept 10 hours and feel much better physically and emotionally today. I LOVE this forum. All of you are so helpful.