byon 03-28-2008 at 12:32 PM (579 Views)
Okay... I must be going through something!! Yesterday morning my lower back was a killer. As the day went on I felt these muscle spasms creep up my back, settling in my neck. It was awful!! I couldn't turn my head without a cringe. This morning I still hurt. My shoulders are achy, I kind of feel like I've had the flu, you know, that sore feeling. I weighed myself and I've gained 2 pounds. This is interesting!! What is my body trying to tell me???
I'm thinking of doing a liver cleanse, but I'm unsure. With the little girls and Q being gone, I'm concerned that it may be too much, although my oldest could help out. With these symptoms I feel like my body is trying to let go of stuff and having a hard time doing so.
Speaking of Q..... 20 days left!!!! Almost in the teens! I remember when we still had over a hundred to go. Now only 20 little baby days! WHOOT!
Visualization went better last night. I saw myself in the future, me having reached my goal of being raw and content. I don't know how far in the future this was but I saw myself happy and confident. I asked this new fangled Elissa how/what to do to get through these rough patches. The feeling I got (I couldn't really see my future self talking to my current self...) was to be more open to the situation. The feeling was more directed towards my kids though??? My 4 year old is a challenge. The feeling I got was to open up my mind and see that she is struggling to understand, kind of like a nervous, frightened puppy who doesn't understand her world... doesn't understand the whys, doesn't understand from moment to moment her place in it and is frightened by the uncertainty. I immediately felt an understanding. If I can see her as confused, frightened and anxious, and as a result acting out as opposed to just plain ornery and destructive, this gives me an insight. As I think about it this morning I can now see how this applies to me as well. If I can see my body and mind as being in a state of uncertainty... I understand better what I need to do and not do. I think when you go raw there is this adjustment phase. We are throwing ourselves out of the familiar modes. It's totally uncharted territory. The ways our bodies respond are foreign, the emotions we feel are new or newly revived. There must be parts of us that are frightened, confused and anxious. Like with my daughter, if I can see this for what it is... me trying to find myself and my body trying to recover its health, maybe I can let go and not be so quick to judge. Like with my daughter, I need to be patient and accepting, knowing that there is a lot going on that I may not comprehend, but trust the process.
Thanks everyone for your comments and support!!
It means so much that you take the time to share your thoughts!!!!!
Have a GREAT DAY!