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My husband and I went shopping for the items on the Essentials and Week One lists today. Then I had him take me to my favorite, hole-n-the-wall Mexican restaurant for Nopales and Sopes. Mmmmm. I followed that with a dark chocolate Dove bar. Soon, eating like this will seem like eating garbage to me, but not yet!

I can't wait for tomorrow. I bought a lot of stuff! I wanted to make sure I would be well prepared. Failing is not an option. This is more than a diet for me. This is more than a life change. This could be life-saving. I still can't believe that I have cancer. Me! I certainly have been through a lot. No one could claim that I've lived a charmed life. But, still, cancer? I didn't see this one coming. Not that I ever do see "it" coming.

I have ductal carcinoma in situ, DCIS. It basically means that I have cancer that is contained in the milk ducts of my breast. The good news is that it is not invasive or aggressive. Invasive would be bad. That would mean it is speading. Aggressive would also be scary. That would mean it is very likely to break through and become invasive. However, there are no guarantees it won't change. I'm hoping that the raw diet will bring about a change, but for the better.

I'm only 42. I look a lot younger. (I'm often accused of being a teenager.) I had just a couple of risk factors, kind of. I found out recently, after a lifetime of thinking that I had no family history of breast cancer, that three of my great-aunt's sisters had it, and that one died from it. We're talking three generations ago, and not in my direct line of descent. So, I'm not even sure that that is considered a real risk factor. The only other one I could identify is stress. I have certainly had, (and continue to have), a lot of that. As far as other risk factors are concerned, the thing I keep hearing from family and close friends is, "You did everything right!" Go figure.

I don't have a horrible diet. (I did as a kid.) I'm a meat and potatoes woman. I don't eat a lot of junk food. I like to eat full meals, and ocassional dessert. Regrettably, I've never eaten a lot of fruit and vegetables. Usually a piece of fruit for breakfast, and a steamed veggie for dinner. I tend to skip meals, (too busy or rushed), but I eat a lot when I do sit down to eat. No, I'm not overweight. I'm blessed with high metabolism.

Okay, that's enough background information. I am so excited to start this diet. I feel that it is a gift from God. I saw Alissa on the Tyra Banks Show. I filed it in the back of my mind. After two "suspicious" mammograms and a T-4 thermogram grade, (www.thermogramcenter.com), I bought the book. For the first time in weeks I had hope.

I've had two surgeries: an open biopsy (lumpectomy), followed by a partial mastectomy. The last one was less than a week ago. I'm recuperating well. I had it done by a laser breast cancer surgeon, (www.laserbreastcancersurgery.com) in NYC. He is another huge blessing in my life. However, I'm still not cancer free.

My thirteen year old son is going raw with me. I think it will help him with pain in his archless feet, his weight, and his ADD. He asked if he could join me. I'm excited about that, too. (I guess I sold it without even trying.)

My other son asked if I would be doing this if I didn't have cancer. I've had chronic pain for the last ten years since a bad horse accident. I developed sciatica on top of it a couple of years ago which extends down into my heel. I have IBS, tinnitus, allergies, insomnia, symptoms of chronic mercury poisoning, (nerve twitching and jumping in my sleep), and a three-year-old knee injury from skiing which has mysteriously radiated to my other knee. (???) Oh! I almost forgot - periodontal disease. That was a big surprise! I recently had a horrible experience with a drug I was given for insomnia. I thought I was losing my mind. It was so scary! And it took weeks for my anxiety to subside. I still have residuals. So, my answer is, "Yes! I think I would." I need this change. I've needed this change for a very long time.

Outward appearances can deceive. I don't look sick. I don't look like I'm in constant pain. I still smile and laugh a lot. But when it gets to be too much, I cry all night, (and pray). Sometimes not showing it on the outside is seems like a shame. If I looked depressed, sick, and overweight, maybe people would notice that I'm in trouble and reach out to me. Maybe they would believe me when I do speak up, (which is rare). But, I am grateful for good genes, and my closest family and friends, (and my doctors) do know the truth. And they care.

I am documenting this journey just in case it might help someone else, and to have a record of all of this.

A lot of people have been asking me how I feel. I'm sad. I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm hopeful. I'm joyful. I'm excited. I'm determined. I feel blessed to have hope and faith in God.