A strange fish
I am ...such a strange fish.
Why do I sabotage myself?
I know what I want and have all the tools and means to do it, yet I stray too easily. I know I am going to be ticked at myself, or be uncomfortable physically, but I still do it. What is up with that??
Am I afraid? If so, of what? I do hard or unpleasant things weekly, eating fresh food is not unpleasant. I love it and when I am not dwelling on food I have always gone for the healthy option.
Do I like to hurt myself? Maybe. Maybe I am afraid of being too good, or perfect. I am always getting that comment at work. " She is too good, she will not eat it" I get embarrassed. I do not like to stand out in a crowd...
Hey is that another reason...I do not want to look too good. I have a habit of dressing down to cover up. Never did that before I started to get attention. I have always dressed for comfort and practical reasons.
I am sitting here with my mouth so sore, all because I got a free bag of crisps with my lunch and had to eat them. I put them in the drawer but I was still in need of food after my lettuce that I got them out rather than purchasing more food.
Hey, that might be another reason....I have been hungry in the past, not enough funds to buy food for myself and everyone else, so I would go with out or eat the scraps I got free from the hotels for the animals. (sounds gross I know but I was cold and hungry). Maybe I just am totally confused.
Funny, I am so together when I am alone. When I have time to think. When I have had enough sleep.
Just the ramblings of this strange fish...
Have a wonderful weekend everyone.