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Dear dear friend...
I just adore my dear boyfriend and wanted to write these few first lines for him...
I woke up today and saw your smile, and it made me realise how much I love waking up next to you and see your smile first thing in the morning...
I'm going through some detox or hormones as you call it...
But I'm really thankfull for that... all those crazy emotions and my suffering which I put on to you...
I'm really greatfull for you being there for me and holding me and hugging me when I need to cry it all out.. I'm so greatfull you love me... and you can take all of my crazy mood changes I'm going through...
we both know I'm getting better and much better...
And I'm just really thankfull you are there by my side... to remind me why am I doing what I am doing and why am I alive... and happy...


And now a bit about me and about what's new old etc...
well I haven't been here for a while... and haven't even read posts for a while... I just couldn't go on the computer... or anything else really lol...
going through some emotional detox and others...so I had qiote a lot of moods swings and lots of crying and a bit depression aswell... but actually it was much much easier than the mood changes and depression I used to have in my past... so thankfull for that we could bare it and go through it with my bf... ^_^
I had a few "falls" for a few days... it started with going out to the restaurant and eating a nioki with a salad... I am not saying I fell of the wagon and made a huge mistake or anything...
I totally aprriciate the fact I did what I did...
I didn't feel bad after physically- well I was tired etc but not a drastic something that will make me say wow this sad food is really crap for me...
I did have a bit of emotional problem with eating it... and actually binging the rest of the night... had a soup and a belgian waffel with sugars etc on it...
the day after I went back on to raw... and the day after raw I "fell" on hmm what was it :\ lol after that raw again... and after that fell on ben and jerries ice cream and some mid eastern meal of humus and falafels... which I adore... But that really made me full , heavy, bloated, tired.. only that meal made me feel really bad physically... and yet I wanted more poison into my body that day... But my boyfriend was with me and made me eat more salads and fruits... and the next morning I woke up craving nutritions and raw for my body...
I ate those non healthy for my body foods for my own good -ironically...
My emotional detox was really strong these few days and I think my body went for those sad foods cravings to make my emotional detox a bit slower and easier... so I thank you my sweet sweet body and soul and spirit for guiding me through this way !

So for anyone who ever thought he/she fell of the wagon... check out the reason you ate whatever you ate... look deep down .. or just under your nose to find that lil thing that scarched that deeper thing which is bothering you...
I know my emotions have a great deal with food...
and food have a great deal with my emotions :)
but I learn it a lil by lil and learn to understand it slowly :)

Wish you all lots of luck and understanding on your journey!
Lots of love,
Mary