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Friday, September 14, 2007

Ok, so, I fell off the wagon and am ready now to get back on and ride again! I was successfully 99% raw for 5 weeks straight...then I don't remember what happened, but I started eating some cooked foods and now, a couple of months later, I am ready to give it a go again.

I started yesterday by beginning The Master Cleanse . I did it once before, for only 3 days, so I am going to play that part by ear and listen to my body about when to re-introduce raw foods. But I will go for at least the 3 days, which means I would be starting back on raw foods beginning this coming Sunday morning.

I know I feel much better, physically and psychologically, eating raw. Besides, I had a major epiphany that is significant for me...

One of my primary objectives in eating raw, aside from all the obvious health benefits, is weightloss. I want to lose 45 pounds. Now, here is the epiphany...I lost significant weight successfully once before in my life...in my early 20's. I lost about 35 pounds and got down to 122. I am 5'9", so that was really under weight for my height. But, the point I want to make is that I was motivated to lose the weight at that time, for my husband (now my X) who was in the army. He had cheated on me several times already, by this time (we had been married 2.5 years and had a 2 year old son) when he was assigned a tour of duty in Germany. I didn't know it at the time, but he had requested a non-accompanied tour...which means, he requested that his family NOT accompany him to Germany. The tour was to be for at least 14 months. He later changed his mind, but because of this, we were apart for 8 months before joining him in Germany. We ended up spending 4 years in Germany, but my point is this: I lost the weight out of poor self-esteem. I only did it because I wanted to be attractive to him and I wanted his friends to think I was so "hot" that he wouldn't even think of cheating on me again.

Now, at 45, I realize how ridiculous this state of mind was. This time I am coming at the weightloss with a new perspective. I am doing it 100% FOR ME! My (new) husband and soulmate of 10+ years loves me absolutely unconditionally. This has really enabled me to look at my body and my health through different eyes. I want to have the experience in this body that I DESERVE to have. I am the only obstacle standing in my own way!

So, here I go, again!

Woo hoo!