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today

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by
snowdrop
on 09-10-2007 at 05:11 PM (347 Views)
in the 'D'
2 shelves of tomatoes (for my wintertime marinaras)
2 shelves kale chips
1 shelf pumpkin seeds w/ wasabe powder

the pumpkin around those seeds made a wonderful raw pie for a potluck.
i have a dozen more in the pumpkins garden.
perfect little 1 pie each, pumpkins.


i bought a beautiful 1/2 gal rubber ring ball jar to store the dried tomatoes.
i think it will look great.

sold my raw self down the river today for a bk value meal.
anger shame disappointment, all of it has been thru me today.
i know enough to begin again, but why oh why do i sabotage
myself constantly???
a very all or nothing cloak is swirling around me.

so to stop the sad cycle, i bought a big bunch of organic kale today and made the kale chips as soon as i got home. i have to have something to stick into my mouth instead of sad food.
i prowl for sad. it's not like a craving- but more. what a monster inside!

my garden is just about done. it's time to pull the tomatoes out and store the stakes for winter. manure up the beds to mellow all winter for spring thaw planting. i have my seeds for next year, and will be graphing out where it all goes, when the snow softly falls and i am cuddled up to the kitchen wood stove in january.

2008...
hopefully i'll be raw then, with no more slip ups, just a way of life.
(one can dream, can't one? laws of attraction. :) )
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Comments

  1. StarFire's Avatar
    ahhhh life... and the day to day realities of it!! No worries snow ;) ... soon ... very soon you'll be jumping up one morning and saying... Yep - TODAY'S THE DAY... here I AM.... and you'll be dragging all of us .... pushing and pulling us into rawmaciousness.... I won't make you dragg mee... but I'm sure I'll have to be pushed a time or two!!! heheheeeee ;) !!
  2. Vassargirl's Avatar
    Spending quality time with your dehydrator? I have a thought on the self sabotage --- I think we have a difficult time keeping promises to ourselves. (see my blog, yada yada yada) Here are two books that I need to read for boot camp you might also be interested in...
  3. Vassargirl's Avatar
    Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet by Linda Spangle (Author)/Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Jeffers, Susan
  4. Vassargirl's Avatar
    Slip ups are human and natural. You will be fine. You have done so great so far. You can do this.
  5. snowdrop's Avatar
    i have the 'feel the fear' book- read it after the panic attacks set in during a post best friend death depression. i'll revisit that, thanks!
  6. snowdrop's Avatar
    thanks for the confidence in me... sometimes i lack that. xoxoxox
  7. Binty's Avatar
    Hey take it easy!!! It happens-I know it happens to me,too! Thanks for your kind words, snowdrop. Oh BTW, Moe-Moe is a real CUTIE!! Sciencegal
  8. Chidori's Avatar
    snowdrop, don't beat yourself up over the BK. I've been there-done that. This is a journey.:)

    BTW~I sent you a private e-mail.:)

    RJL


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