byon 03-11-2007 at 11:56 AM (495 Views)
so this is my first time "blogging".. whatever that means!
i just had some cooked oatmeal, and a bagel in the morning, which broke my 80% raw eating for two weeks period.. so apparently.. my raw journey is beginning as of now.
I do have to say though, for the two weeks I was 80% raw.. I was absolutely SICK of thinking.. well what am I going to eat? Is this satisfying my nutricional requirements? am I getting enough carbs/fat/protein? So I'm going to try to switch my thinking into that of already being fulfilled by the beauty in my life. Food is not a primary concern, and shouldn't be.
But I do have this horrible problem that has persisted for 2 + years.. I wake up in the middle of the night, and in a half-sleep I go to the pantry and eat! It's absolutely horrible, and then during the day I starve myself to compensate what I ate the night before. And just recently, I upped the amount of food I eat during the day so that it would halt my night-eating. It didn't work, but I sure am gaining weight!
I just want to be happy, and free from this bondage of obsession.
SO, as my body digests the cooked oatmeal, and processed bagel, I will focus on my mind state, and not hate myself for the SAD foot items I have digested. And I will not focus on the fact that I think my body is too heavy... My Higher Power created me as a perfect being, and I just need to realign my thinking into that state of perfectness! So here I go..