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Ok, so I have another challenge to commit to.

My dh and I went out to eat tonight. We went to SuperSalad, which is our "raw" food standard. He loves eating there and I do too. We got to talking about my "food" problems, addictions, my obsesive compulsive behaviours. He said that HE thinks that a big part of my problem is that all the time I spend with books on food, web sites on food, groups on food, whether it is any of the thousands of diets I've done over the years or whether it is the raw food diet that I have discovered recently. He feels that I spend every 24/7 immersed in all things food and that as long as I am immersed in all activities revolving around food, either eating it or talking about not eating it or talking about how I'm not going to eat it or what I have to do not eat it. He thinks that all that energy is wasted in keeping me in my problem. He says he is convinced that my problem is not so much the food but the process of my surrounding myself with all subjects "food".

I argued with him for a long time telling him that no, I am trying to educate myself on what the right things to do are. He said that is BS. He said "YOU KNOW THE RIGHT THINGS TO DO!" Yes he raised his voice.
I told him not to yell at me and he calmed down. He said "I'm sorry honey but I just see you in a revolving circle and the problem is all your activities revolve in some way or another with food". He said as long as this is the case you are not going to get out of this problem.
I asked him what he thought I needed to do to break this cycle. He said he wants me to do a 30 day challenge. I asked what. He said, he wants me for 30 days NOT to do anything food related. Besides of course, the routine grocery shopping and making dinner and getting our lunches ready, etc. Just the basic that is NEEDED for consumption of food. He said outside of the necessary, no more food related activity for 30 days.

I said what about my groups??? He said well that keeps you reading about food. I said yes, it does, but it is also a kind of therapy for me. I told him I journal about my daily food experiences and that it actually is helping me. He said, Ok, then....keep that but cut out everything else you do related to food. I am on several yahoo food groups, I am always ordering books, I buy kitchen gadgets like crazy, etc.... I agreed to try this challenge for 30 days.
He says it will be an interesting experiment. He said it will do one of two things; 1. It will allow me to "break" free of the vise grip hold that food has on me. or 2. I will go crazy and just will NOT be able to do it.
He said either way will be very enlightening for me.

I do obscess. My mind is constantly inundated with all thoughts food related. It doesn't help that as I watch tv I see food, I read a magazine, I see food ads, I go to the Mall, I see the food court. I am surrounded by restaurants off all kinds, fast food, slow food, you name it. Food, Food, Food, everywhere Food.

He did admit that I am looking better. He said he does see that I am loosing weight by the way my clothes are fitting me. Oh....he also said he suggests that I "throw away that Damned scale". LOL He said it is another example of being obscessed with my weight. He said I don't need a scale to tell me if I am doing well or not. argh!!!

So.........................I start tomorrow. I don't know if I can make it. Oh I mean....I CAN MAKE IT! LOL That's me pulling out my positive-ness LOL

Anywhooooo..........that's the deal. We'll see how long I can make it.

Jeannie