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Ok, here goes. My name is Anna. And I am a chocoholic.

YesterDAY went ok, other than I broke my blender somehow...it started giving off a burnt smell and then refused to blend anymore. Now my DH bought this and so silly me, I went to the store and replaced it with the exact same one, and didn't tell him! ...lol, I'm sure I will come clean soon enough.

Anyways, come supper I was getting quite low on the blood sugar, cranky, depressed, really quite cynical. I mean I was keeping it together not too bad but...as I sat down to eat my salad, it just wasn't cutting it. It was my usual avocado dressed one, but it seemed boring. Now I HATE being bored with food. When I was 14 or so, my Dad got wind that he was probably going to die any day from heart disease and proceeded to enlist everyone in a major dietary change. We ate, EVERYDAY for supper, fish, rice and dark green veggies with a salad if it was summer. EVERYDAY. And it should be noted that there was NO soya sauce, NO salt, NO butter, NOTHING on this. Very bland. Everyday. Sure he saved himself, and yes we got used to eating this way, after about 2 weeks....we even got to the point of hating it beyond belief and then coming full circle back to liking it again So when my supper tasted boring to me, it was a bit of a flashback.

Again the thoughts, this time my devil/child in mind was smoother, instead of saying go binge on chips and chocolate right now!!! It said, why don't you just have a cooked meal every Sunday, whatever you want. Before I knew it I was saying why don't I just eat raw for breakfast and lunch and eat a cooked supper? But I know this is what I always do, I always start slacking the rules untill eventually I am right back where I started. Then I was really grumpy, because I am just getting too smart for myself.
I ate my salad figuring I would probably feel better afterwards. But didn't really. So I had some almonds. That helped a bit, but what I REALLY needed was chocolate. And maybe some Doritos. Perhaps just a small bag. ...and on and on. My Dh comes in from the barbeque and to pacify myself I ate a half of one of his bbq'd mushrooms. That's right. I had a morsel of cooked food and I didn't care at all. I am not feeling too guilty about it, I mean, it is what it is. I guess I don't care because I am so busy being proud of not going to the store for anything else. Cuz I had big plans, BIG ones...and they were set in stone for a good hour or so.

Then dh brought in a bag of cherries. And those cherries were the best damn cherries I have ever had They fixed me right up....I mean, eyes are starting to water. So as I ate some cherries I started telling my family that I wanted to go get some chocolate and chips and I wanted a peanut butter and honey sandwich, I listed all the things I wanted. It's almost as if saying them, helped get them out of me. Acknowledging the desire sort of helped put it out. ...and hey, dh says "don't do it". Mind you he eats whatever he wants, and that doesn't bother me really, but he's not dangling things in my face or bringing home my favorite junk stuff, so ....ah, it's just surprising.

Starfire, that is very funny about your pianos! Suddenly I don't feel so alone The day I was going to take one of them down, it rained rather persistently. But this week I will, and dh even said he would do some stuff around here this week, which I think he actually means being that I immediately turned into a tyrant as soon as the subject accidently came up.

So if you are still reading this, I NEED some NEW recipes!. I only have 2 that I consider a 10. my avocado salad, and my smoothies. I only want recipes that you consider a 10 though. Everytime I experiment with a new recipe, and it isn't a keeper, I feel upset because I just wasted a meal that I could've really enjoyed.

Lastly, I am at 152.8!! Woohoo! That is 4.2 pounds down. That is cool. And I don't feel sick at all. And this morning I actually looked better, body and face. So that's really encouraging. Oh, darnit, I forgot to oil pull. lol....

And that's about it,
Anna.