on 03-06-2007 at 01:38 PM (696 Views)
So, as my good Catholic friends would say, confession is good for the soul. So let me start by confessing.
The same day I made my first blog entry here I panicked! (So much for starting my journey 'right here. now. today'. Or some such rubbish. Ah. I once fell in love with a quote:
"True commitment is doing the thing you said you would do, long after the mood in which you said it has left you" (George Zaluki)
Well, my mood left in a hurry and I (in a panic... at the thought of going ROARRRRRR!) immediately scoffed down a few slices of toast with cheese and mustard and mayonnaise. It really was panic or fear. Probably both. No matter. I've forgiven myself.
But going ROAR is an enormous life-changing experience. So I've decided to do it at my leisure. What I mean is that Im going to ease into it. I dont want to be all gung-ho and then stick to it for a few days and then fade after a week or so. Because it is going to be traumatic. I had a burger on Saturday night, for God's sake. A REAL meat burger. So there. I need to ease into this. Rather like climbing into a cold swimming pool one toe at a time. (I've never been the type to jump into a cold pool. My nipples get embarassingly hard. Besides Im a bit of a masochist and the slow torture exhilirates me ;) ) Just kidding.
In any case. Im NOT giving up coffee. Ever. I need a vice and having quit cigarettes, Im not giving up coffee. I dont care if this means I'll never earn my 100% RAW Noddy badge.
I shall drink my (h)erbal teas (In SA we say Herbal not 'erbal) and my water etc etc, but Im keeping the caffeine. For now. I tried quitting. My body cursed me. If I do quit caffeine, it will be the final non-ROAR food I quit.
So yesterday I had 2 pces of fruit for b/fast: banana and a pear. (Flamingo blush). Apple and some sliced cucumber and carrot for lunch (I NEVER have time for lunch, so lunch will always be a nibble with a bigger meal at around 3.30pm)
I had 2 more pieces of fruit and about 1/2 lb of dates mid-afternoon. Dinner was 2 more pieces of fruit and another 1/2 lb of dates.
Im a sugar junkie and have always loved dates. Not a bad day. For me. And I have pitiably low standards.
Oh, I weighed 66kgs (145lbs) on Sunday morning before the panic attack of toast with cheese and mustard and mayo.
(I shant be weighing myself more than once a week. Which is a LOT for me.)
Today I had a banana and pear for breakfast again. An apple for lunch. Mid afternoon I had an apple and a pear. Then I deviated a bit and had some miso soup with tofu (I think I deviated... is miso allowed?) and 2 sheets of nori (leftovers from when I tried to make my own sushi).
Sushi... I love sushi... since the fish is RAW... technically sushi is allowed, isnt it? ;)
For dinner tonight I had (apologies) baked vegetables (cougettes, butternut squash, carrots, spinach, red pepper, green pepper, yellow pepper, onion and cauliflower).
Yes, yes, I threw them in a dish and shoved them in an oven and killed them. Then I ate them. I guess that makes me a cannibal or something. Or worse -- eater of dead food. *shudder*
Im new to this! I like my vegetables dead. If they're dead they dont talk back.
Followed by more dates for dessert. I've run out and Im not buying more. I like them too much. If they're not around I cant eat them .
(Given my bulimia, Im loathe to keep any morish snacks, even dates, which are allowed, around. They're too binge-able and I dont want to feel like a pig on this journey. Feeling stuffed is a symptom of the eating disorder and a harbinger of feeling out of control. I want to enjoy this process.)
So I had a 2/3rds raw day today.
And 3 cups of coffee on both days. (It was good).
Since this is my journey and being 100% ROAR is the goal, Im going do it at my own pace. Slowly. One toe at a time ... ;)
NO SPLASHING, DAMMIT!
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