on 03-04-2007 at 07:16 AM (546 Views)
Seriously considering going raw after doing some research on the net and finding this site.
Am a bit intimidated by the idea of dehydrators, bionic juicers and the like. Will try without these uber-raw paraphenalia for a while.
Am curious about the Master Cleanse that I've been reading about and am still searching the site for more info on this famous cleanse. Going to post a question on the forum in a bit.
Am a little bit excited and a lot scared. It seems like such a monumental jump. Im doing it mostly because I want to live my best life, physically, emotionally and mentally.
I know, having grown up in a homeopathic home with a SSAD (Standard South African Diet) that natural is always best. Although have never completely applied this concept to food, except during times of illness.
Also, having recently quit smoking, and gaining about 7 kgs or 15lbs, I want to lose it because I feel horrible.
Im not overweight, my BMI is now 25, so Im 'normal' for my age and height, BUT, I dont feel good.
Im very fit. I train 5 days a week and I do martial arts (karate). But I've been going through some emotional shifts and compensating (using the stop smoking) as an excuse to overeat.
I used to eat a 'balanced' SSAD diet and maintained, even lost weight. I've always known instinctively that mood and mind and body are influenced by diet. The last few months have cemented that in my psyche.
Part of pulling myself together emotionally was getting to grips with WHY I was binging on junk. I have mostly dealt with that (Sometimes KNOWING why you do something isnt enough to stop doing it tho). Has to do with mother-daughter-family-food-relationship-childhood -power issues. Im sure every woman with a mother knows what Im talking about.
In any case, realising that I use food as punishment and reward, the same way my mother used to do to me as a child, has been a revelation. Food is power. We are, as human beings, emotionally DEEPLY attached to food. Its a 'feeling' almost, its a part of our psyche.
My personal conclusion is that this explains why we have so many eating disorders in society.
(Yes, I must confess this here also, I was bulimic about 7 years ago. It lasted 5 years and Im no longer bulimic, something I overcame after much soul-searching and personal heart ache, followed by personal power and self-love and realising that low self-esteem is so pervasive. SADLY!)
But I digress...
So, part of my journey included changing my relationship with food. As a former bulimic, binging is my downfall. I no longer purge after a binge, which is a victory everytime but I know I have a tendency to binge.
Part of what frightens me about going all raw is that there are no restrictions on quantity. Recovering from bulimia meant giving up control (which you ironically dont have as a bulimic anyway!). Part of managing weight post-eating-disorder was CONTROLLING what went it. So while I stopped purging after a binge, a victory, as a I said, it also meant maintaining a balance but not obsessing about weight. Which is why I never weighed myself more than ... ONCE A YEAR ... in the last 7 yrs. It worked for me, because I refused to obsess about a number on a scale. I merely measured my weight by the fit of my clothes.
So yes, while I am very proud that I beat bulimia, I recognise that the underlying causes of my eating disorder still exist, and those include punishment-reward issues, low self-esteem, sexual abuse, etc etc. All that baggage we all bring with us.
But I also want to stop completely worrying about my weight. I want truly to be healthy and happy and like someone else said, be strong and healthy.
My body is a wonderful instrument, tool. I want to treat it the way it deserves. Inside and out. Im almost sure raw is the way to go.
My journey starts here. Today. Now.
Im also a little worried that this is a US based site and Im in deepest darkest Africa.
Ordering books and things online are prohibitively costly and take a while to cross the Atlantic ;)
But Im going to give it a shot. We'll see what happens. Now who can tell me more about this Master Cleanse and will I be able to keep to my regular training schedule while Im on it? Im LOATHE to do anything that interferes with my exercise routine.
Exercise is my drug of choice. If I dont do it, I get crabby and miserable and Im not a happy person. I must exercise.
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