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ShelShel

2-3-13

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by
ShelShel
on 02-03-2013 at 07:48 AM (3734 Views)
Good morning. :)
I'm still thinking about things. Everyone had very kind, generous and good ideas. Thank you.

Bananna, thank you for your uncooking comment. . I have been doing this a long time. I do know what and how to do raw. Seriously. I am simply unmotivated for it as a way of life these days.

I would say that the biggest change in my life is working 40 plus hours a week. I was a stay at home mom when I began raw. I had all the time in the world to think and do raw.

My job is an extremely stressful one. A lot of constant pressure.

And actually, I just had a disturbing thought as I typed. It was this... "and besides, that is the last thing I need, my boss finding me attractive and hitting on me. I have already had to turn down his request for lunch together". Hummmm.

I could be hiding again. Ouch. This is a personal revelation I didn't realize I had in the back of my thoughts.

Because of something that happened to a close family member in my life, I'm afraid of men for the most part. It is a testament to the gentleness of my hubby that he slipped in under my radar. :)

So now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm afraid of having the men in our office notice me. It was safe when I was at home. It is safe when I'm fat and go unnoticed. But thin, healthy... Noticeable. That truly scares me.

I don't do well with fear. I prefer to kick it's butt rather than hiding from it.

So. I'm rethinking things. Could be running. Agh.

Hummm. I've acknowledged something important here.

I'm rethinking things. I could be coming back with a vengeance.

Write more after thinking. ((( hugs)))
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Comments

  1. ReneeH's Avatar
    That's why I think a class would be good for you! It'll give you motivation and ignite your raw creativity. Why don't you search out an Alissa Cohen Level 1 teacher in your area. It's about SO much more than just food. Really, it is.

    I'm really glad your still here! keep writing your thoughts in your blog. It's great free therapy!!!

    ((((HUGSSSSS))))
  2. ShelShel's Avatar
    Thank you for all the encouragement Renee. I have really appreciated it. :)
  3. Bananna's Avatar
    Oh Shelshel!! ...I'm sorry that happened to your family member and that it has had such a fall out. I would definately be concerned about your boss in your situation also...that makes perfect sense.

    As a social worker, and someone that got counselling for some PTSD and anxiety problems I can tell you that it is very treatable...it is statistically one of the most responsive things to psychotherapy!! There IS freedom from this, but it IS work. It took me about a year of really spaced out counselling appointments, but man...was it ever worth it!!!

    Being paged...so will talk later. Good luck with your thinking things through. We are both being pretty productive on that end these days...getting real. :)
  4. Bananna's Avatar
    Renee...your class idea is lovely! I might look into it too! :)
  5. ReneeH's Avatar
    Yea!!! It's an interchange of encouragement for sure! I get SO much out of them too! :)
  6. ShelShel's Avatar
    Ok. My thoughts.
    I talked everything over with my hubby. He said he totally understands where I'm coming from, but that I shouldn't give up on raw.

    He said, "if that is the issue, you need some self defense courses like we got the girls.".

    We didn't want our girls to be afraid like I am and so we got them tae kwon do lessons. They are so much better for having the knowledge and skills.

    I am going to take some tae kwon do lessons. Learn some self defense. I'm going to get some tools to make my raw food LIFESTYLE a success. My hubby said, "you are raw all week long without much trouble. Plan on sticking with it and allow yourself one cooked meal once in a while guilt free.". His suggestion was to really stick with it without any breaks for a good long stretch. Let it become the normal again.

    He and my oldest child are really encouraging me, just like you all are. :) thank you everyone. I really appreciate it.

    And Renee I would love to take a class with you. I'm not sure my old computer can handle a live something, but I would like a new computer sometime this year and hopefully I can join in on several classes at that time.

    Ok. I'm off to shop for my dehydrator, vitamix and food processor. Not sure what I am getting first, but something is coming this week.

    (I say all this drinking down my last kombucha in the house and smiling. I need to go get more. )
    (((hugs))) y'all! More raw freedoms to come. (I'm so encouraged.)
  7. MysticTree's Avatar
    sounds wonderfully positive. Men are not threatening in the main and the nasty ones are more likely to choose someone less strong and secure with herself so boosting your confidence and self esteem whilst boosting your defence skills sounds like a brilliant way forward.


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