Back to Life

I have been gone from here a very long time. At my heaviest, I was 220 lbs. and age 23. At 185 lbs and age 27, I was introduced to raw living by my BFF. Raw helped me live better, feel better and look better than ever. I was 165 lbs when I fell off the wagon. 7 years later, I'm nearly back to where I began. 2 months ago, I got on a scale. I was 208.5 lbs. 3 days ago was the last time I got on a scale. 202. Not much progress for two whole months of busting my hump in the gym and trying to eat better, even though it was SAD.

So, after getting off that scale, I decided to come back to my long, lost, beloved raw life. 3 days. I already feel better. More energy, more happiness, more motivation. I knew how happy I would feel eating raw, just happy all the time with no real explination (other than my body is happy) but I guess I'd forgotten how profound that happiness felt.

The first time I did this, I didn't know what I was doing. Becoming raw was cost prohibitive for me at the time. Good food cost a lot of good money. I've never understood why things that are awful for you costs so little. Maybe because it's worth so little. For the last 3 days, I am re-learning how to stock my kitchen. I'm half way there as far as appliances are concerned. I'd gifted my dehydrator to my SIL (brother is out of work so they can use all the help they can get). I'd sold my juicer to my BFF many years ago as I was moving to another state.

The good news is that life is better for me. I have a wonderful, supportive family. My new husband, the love of my life, is a rock. I tell him I want to spend $200 on a new dehydrator and he doesn't even blink. I need to go spend $100 at Whole Foods and he comes with me to help me shop. He doesn't want to join me on my journey but he will certainly bring up the rear and help me push forward. This man even drank part of my green smoothie last night. It's hard to make an Italian boy from a traditional SAD family come over to my way of thinking but I'm hoping that him seeing changes in me will inspire him to give it a try. And there will be changes. BIG changes.

This time around, I know what I'm doing. Mostly, anyway. It wasn't hours of pouring over books and forums to get my start. It wasn't clumsy or unnatural-feeling this time as I transitioned from bottled dressing back to my homemade. A few years ago, I'd gotten very ill at the same time as eating my usual stand-by; spinach salad with lemon tahini dressing. It took me YEARS to get back to being able to eat spinach and tahini without simply getting sick to my stomach. Oh, how I missed it! I'm so thankful that I have a Whole Foods and a Trader Joe's near by. I'm so thankful that the local big-box has an enormous health foods and organic foods section. I can find what I need just about everywhere.

My new Excalibur dehydrator is waiting on my doorstep for me to get home. I've been sprouting and plotting, waiting for its arrival. I've finally found a use for the lovely Cuisinart blender that the previous owners of my house left us. I've got a brand-new Magic Bullet already, replacing the one that was my trusty companion during my first journey to raw living. This time, I know what to expect, I know how to avoid self-sabotage, I know what I will crave and how to help it. I also know, as I looked at a piece of Easter candy this morning, how sick I will feel if I eat it even after just a couple days raw.

The best part about this is that it feels completely natural to me. My personal trainer had me on a diet that was very much like Atkins. I didn't feel well, I didn't have energy... He also told me to stay away from fruit except for within an hour before or after a work out. I thought surely he was nuts. I couldn't figure out why I ignored his fruit advice but not his other advice. I also don't have a gall bladder and can't digest fats like everyone else. When I decided to give up this low carb (AKA high fat) diet, I went out and filled myself with spinach, apples and banannas. 2 months of forcing myself to ingest high amounts of protiens and I felt the best when I gave it up. At least he told me when we began that he had an open mind and he was willing to support me on whatever diet I chose, even if it meant I was going raw vegan against his advice. My mom has been bugging me since I first started that high-fat diet to get back to my raw. I should have known Mom always knows best.

So here I am, back on for a 30-day challenge. Are you ready? I am.