One week Overview
It's been exactly one week since I fasted last Saturday and lost 4 pounds in one day. I have now gained two back...last night I had a bunch of chocolate. I was So good all last week and something overtook me last night. I couldn't fall asleep....gah!
Part of me wants to throw in the towel and eat whatever today....and if I'm honest and look at my pattern it could easily turn into many days. I am writing here in an effort to vent and blatantly stare at the elephant in my room in an effort to give it less power.
And why should I realistically be so disappointed because I only weigh two pounds less than I did last week? I mean at this point I took two steps forward and one step back.
I guess I just feel under the gun to give myself some fast results as I'll be starting school in 6 weeks and really wanted to have lost 25 pounds....which was already a compromise because I really wanted to lose 50 or more. I am just so sick of being this heavy and get frustrated that losing takes the consistency that it does when you take baby steps. ....As opposed to fasting.
Atleast I was smart enough to realize that fasting more than one day would've resulted in a bigger binge later. That is what I would do and I know myself well enough now, lol.
Oh look I cracked a smile...maybe this is working...writing it out instead. :) ...and another one.
So let's see....if I lose 8 more pounds in 6.5 weeks (school starts then) ...that would be ten pounds lighter. There is something about losing ten that makes you feel more accomplished than losing five. ...No I would not be meeting even my plan B weight loss goal but I would feel better than I do now. And any kind of better is good.
I guess it's hard too because I've been looking at a scale all week thatread two pounds lighter than it read today....so I got used to seeing that number....now it's hard for me to readjust to this higher weight even though it is two pounds lighter than last saturday morning.
I am still interested in having an eating window...I am finding that to be really easy not to eat in the morning. Yes mainstream media goes on about metabolism....but I find that doing something a bit busy just as good for spunk. Exercise afterall...raises your metabolism. And in a consumption based society it is way more profitable to push eating frequently than not...and then encourage everyone to work out how many hours at the gym (more money). ...they would never say skip meals and putter more even if it were true. ...I guess I just find, oddly, sluggish/full after eating. Some of the healthiest looking people I know eat two meals a day....no snacks. ...That might be more realistic in the long term...for now though I am just not that hungry...I think I'm just too busy....and when I eat I can eat plenty so it does all seem to work out. I never feel satisfied on little meals...when I eat I like to feel satisfied. ....but my problem with this is that I can still easily overeat for the day...as I've just shown myself yesterday.
For this reason I'm going to try a week of something slightly different. I am still going to eat less meals...probably twice a day. And count calories. ...So that'd be 600-800 calories per meal. Still very satisfying meals. ....Also in eating less meals, as I've noticed all week, I am far more likely to eat high raw because it is less planning so less opportunity/temptation/preparedness etc. ...Just less of a mental battle than doing it six times a day.
I know I haven't really talked about raw so far so I will say that I was 1) almost entirely gluten and dairy free for the whole week to the point of feeling unaddicted (till last night's chocolate incident). and 2) probably 50% raw. I used to belittle if I was 'only' 50% raw but now I realize that it is pretty awesome really. And I'm also finding that I love the raw cuisine and salads and fruits...that I'm drawn to it...that many times it is my first choice for taste alone!
I just dont have any Really decadent raw recipes that compare to cooked decadent dessert junk in flavour unfortunately. Well I do sorta but...I just didn't think of them? I just really missed the chocolate bars. Unlike usual thougb...I felt nauseated after, couldn't stomach as much as usually would eat. And don't seem to care about them today.
A raw friend of mine told me that when you crave chocolate you are actually craving minerals and that you need to eat more greens. Maybe this was the case.
Have a good weekend everyone!