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May 28th

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by
Bananna
on 05-29-2011 at 12:41 AM (425 Views)
The next day, after my previous blogpost, I was raw all day. Somewhere near supper time I decided to have a cooked supper. ....it all started because I decided to combine sparkpeople's counting calories (which I have been dabbling in when not raw) and in doing so, I realized that by supper time I had already managed to eat 2000 calories. (thank-you delicious nut-butter Asian salad dressing and honey-garlic sauce!) ...well that threw me, and I felt anxious...and as previously stated, anxiety is my whole reason for comfort food! ...I did Think of doing EFT stuff....but I didn't do it. But I did think of doing it atleast, lol.

All in all though it was a very high raw day and not too bad. The next day, Friday, was not that great though, half good half bad.

So today I water fasted. ...I don't know what else to do at this point...I feel like an addict and am going to see if this can reset me. I have read that it can do that, but also that you can easily slip into old habits again after resuming eating. For now I am just doing a Lot of thinking. ...whenever I get uncomfortably hungry or get a bit of a headache, I lie down, close my eyes...maybe for 15 minutes. I find it really helps me carry on with the water fasting. Alot!

It's not the kind of thing you want to do with a full plate, but I did do plenty, took my kids to the park, made them supper even ;)

I'm going to continue water fasting untill I feel more sorted out. I am still struggling with what I even want my diet to be...on one hand I want to be all raw, but on the other hand only high raw and gluten/dairy free. And then I have this other hand that still wants to be able to have cheese and chocolate in moderation and maybe I should count calories to compensate for it. And then yet another hand who detests the idea of counting calories. And another hand who is willing to be fat and unhealthy so I can eat whatever the hell I want!!

Yes, MONKEY MIND!!!! That is so, exactly true!

So, I am water fasting because I am at a point where I just don't trust myself to do any other type of regimen. Plus I hear it's very good for endometriosis..and the weight loss might encourage me. Also, I think it gives me a lot of time to analyze my thoughts and hopefully sort out more about what I'm going to do Exactly when I do start eating again. My fear is that I only want to be high raw but that I won't be able to manage it.

This four-five days you speak of going gluten and dairy free (in my previous blogpost), I have noticed this also....maybe it's just a matter of getting to that place again and I could more easily maintain high raw.

Alright dudes...I need to sleep. Peace out
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Comments

  1. snoops's Avatar
    I can totally relate to the what is my diet going to be - raw, high raw, dairy and wheat free, counting calories, raw except for...sometimes I think I should just go on weight watchers again and eat whatever but count calories. But I know that is not the way to health. But sometimes you can drive yourself crazy with all the restrictions. No cooked, no meat, no wheat, no dairy no blah blah blah. Ahhhhhhhhh. Its the cravings. One day at a time for 4 or 5 days. We CAN do it.
  2. Bananna's Avatar
    :) ...we really are kindred spirits, lol.

    I have just now (but I don't know how many times before) have had some clarity for myself. ..and I thank you because I agree that I am a 'normal' eater when I do not have gluten and dairy. But oh how I love cheese and chocolate...but really, that's because I am still addicted to them right now, being only on day 2. ...I KNOW that if I just let some time pass and create some distance between me and these things, that don't love me back anymore than cigarettes from a health perspective...that I won't have that same view.
    For this, I am thankful for my previous attempts because it reminds me that I can get to that place where these foods have no power over me.

    I don't think I'm ready to give up all cooked foods yet though, I just haven't found enough raw recipes that I love is basically the thing....but I will keep experimenting with different raw recipes and eat the ones I adore...and maybe I will lose interest in some of my favorite (gluten free/vegan) dishes naturally, or find superb replacements in the raw world for them. ...and maybe that will be a very slow process.

    I think so long as I am off the gluten and dairy, that would be 'enough' progress for me, along with eating predominantly raw. I'd be very happy with that, if I can get to the point where it doesn't bother me to eat that way.

    You are right, we CAN do this!!
  3. snoops's Avatar
    OK, I'm with you. Lets do Mon - Fri no wheat or dairy. None. I am pretty Ok with the no dairy these days. Seems cheese wasn't as hard to stop as I thought. But the grains...crackers, bagels...OK. I can do it for 5 days. Monday to Friday it is then. Lets see how we feel on Friday. I bet you by Friday we go - omg I forgot lunch and its 2pm. LOL
  4. Bananna's Avatar
    Ok well have you tried spelt bread? They sell it in the same section as the yeast-free rye breads...by the same company (that german one?). Spelt has a small, small amount of gluten but most celiacs or people who struggle w gluten for whatever reason do fine with it. It's a great replacement for bread!

    I am very commited to this albeit slightly grieving the change...but less and less the more I challenge those thoughts each time I have them. :)
  5. ShelShel's Avatar
    Bananna, You are doing great. Keep your head up, shoulders back and keep pressing in to living. As you are active and seeking life, healthy foods follow. ;) They are nourishing to your body and soul. I'm with you, I'm not ready to be 100%, but I am ready to try to fill my diet with healthiness...I can see your are finding your own path as well! Good job! (I love dairy SOOOOOOO much, probably more than breads...did I mention pre-raw I baked a lot!?!?!?!) It will be ok, we will find substitutes that are worth it. Our journey is going strong. You are not alone. (((HUGS)))


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