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monkapotapus

Monday~3/28/11~Ahhh...Cycles...

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by
monkapotapus
on 03-28-2011 at 07:31 AM (1524 Views)


Monday~3/28/11~

Oh, how I wished I could go back to bed this morning.....BF's phone rang at 6:10am & I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up because I was ticked.....I mean seriously - who calls someone at 6:10 AM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Well....I've been going through some "stuff" lately....figuratively & literally......

So, since 3/11/11 I have been varying levels of "rawness".....

I started decluttering some stuff & when I do that - it seems to always stir up a lot of emotions.....

I'm an "emotional eater".....which lead me to some "comfort foods"....un-raw.....

You know the drill....one bite of cooked leads to two...and then three....etc, etc....

So, I've been trying to get back to all raw for weeks now - some successful days in the mix, but not weeks....

Today - I start the "cycle" again.....back to RAW.....100%.....

I weighed myself this morning & the scale said "169".....ughhhhh....before I began this whole cooked food bullcrap the scale was at 161.5#....so, all that weight in a matter of 17 days.....up 7.5 freakin pounds in 17 days.....wow.....just wow....

I don't know why I continue to do this to myself....go through this "cycle"...cooked, raw, cooked, raw...over and over and over again....the weight goes up, the weight goes down, up, down, up, down......this is BS....

I feel crappy & crabby....like I always do when I eat cooked, so why do I think "this time it will be different"......NO, it's NEVER different......I think sometimes I just get tired of all the prep work for raw & then I get frustrated when everyone around me eats like crap - that I end up throwing my arms up & saying "Who cares"....then I end up right where I am today....pissed at myself for doing it....AGAIN....the cycles seem to get shorter in duration, I think - I guess that's a good thing....

So, today - Monday 3/28/11 is my Day 1 again...

Sorry for the "Debbie Downer" post, but it's where I'm at - from the cooked food....let that be a lesson to me....

Updated 03-28-2011 at 07:35 AM by monkapotapus

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Comments

  1. Aleesha Sattva's Avatar
    I am here... shining the light... to assist you in any way that I can. Even if that means just holding your hand.

    I love you,
    Aleesha
  2. monkapotapus's Avatar
    Thank you, my friend~
    And I love you too~
  3. Aleesha Sattva's Avatar
  4. Jenifae's Avatar
    Thank you sharing. I too have been on a bender. I went on the HCG diet for 8 days and I was so exhausted I couldn't even get off my couch so, I stopped. I thought "Somethings wrong" Well, I gained the 6 pounds I lost back plus some. What???????????? Ack@!

    So, I am with ya. I am so Frickin' tired of gaining, losing and so on and so on. My Food has been worse then it's ever been.

    So, I'm hoping tomorrow is the day I can get back on track.
  5. monkapotapus's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenifae
    Thank you sharing. I too have been on a bender. I went on the HCG diet for 8 days and I was so exhausted I couldn't even get off my couch so, I stopped. I thought "Somethings wrong" Well, I gained the 6 pounds I lost back plus some. What???????????? Ack@!

    So, I am with ya. I am so Frickin' tired of gaining, losing and so on and so on. My Food has been worse then it's ever been.

    So, I'm hoping tomorrow is the day I can get back on track.
    Hi Jen!!

    Come back - we can get on track together~
  6. RawHealthyBeauty's Avatar
    Monk, tons of love to you!!
    I know the feeling about who cares?
    I still get that feeling every now and then when I take a look around and asked that question.
    What's different now is that I tell myself that I care about me. my health, and my overall well-being That's what matters to make all the difference.
    You deserved to make a better life for yourself even if others don't care to for themselves.
    I'm here for you friend if you ever want to talk.
    Updated 03-29-2011 at 10:50 AM by RawHealthyBeauty
  7. Aleesha Sattva's Avatar
    the cycle sucks... it sucks the life right out of us. being empowered, putting on our big girl panties and saying "ENOUGH" and then... following through.

    of course, dealing with the emotional issues of why we are doing this is essential too!
  8. KaleMama's Avatar
    Monk! I am here with you. You will get through this! LOVE YOU and your beautiful soul!

    Sending much, much, much LOVE your way!!!
  9. monkapotapus's Avatar
    Thank you ladies!!!!!
    Smooches to all of you!!!!!

    I'm back, I feel better already & only on Day 4!!!!!

    I have already "released" 4.5# out of the 7.5 I had gained.....been eating a TON of fruit!!!

    I love all of you for being there for me - I mean it~throwhearts:
  10. Aleesha Sattva's Avatar
    i loooooooove the raw you!!! (i love you regardless...) but i sure do love the raw you!
  11. Bananna's Avatar
    Thanks for reminding us all of the pitfalls. :)


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