A Little of This; A Little of That
on 01-25-2011 at 02:45 PM (1431 Views)
I find it interesting when I don't agree with someone, here, or somewhere else, that they say I'm "combative" or, "brutally honest" or "taking things personally" OR that I'm attacking them and I say, how you perceive what I say tells me about you.
If you feel attacked when someone disagrees on a forum, then how can anyone in your life disagree with you?
I used to live with someone like that. I could not give a direct response to anything she said without her bursting into tears. If I wanted to say anything, I had to couch it in bs such as ~ "o.k., this is not about you, yet you said... and that's what I'm speaking to... it's not personal." Or, "Please don't take this personally..." blah, blah, blah! Sheesh! Are we adults? Can we not disagree w/out having to say "Sorry, I disagree with you"? I'm not sorry. I just don't agree. Is what it is.
Honesty ~ from my, or anyone's own point of view ~ is just that. It's NOT PERSONAL! It's not "brutal".... it's just an opinion. Once you get that, then, life becomes easy!!!
See? when folk say something on a forum such as this, I'll often respond very explicitly line by line if necessary as I would in conversation. You say something to me, I'll say, I don't agree and give my take, experience, knowledge, understanding. It's not an argument; it's not "combat"; it's not "attacking"... it's a discussion. That's how they work!
I used to be afraid to say what I felt about something because of peoples' reactions. Now, I say it and how they perceive it ~ well, that's up to them. They can say "thank you for your input"... or, "you're a 'b', or, they feel attacked... whatever! I just give information from my point of view, perspective, understanding and knowledge. If they don't agree; if it goes against theirs.. cool!
I see so many others who are afraid to disagree with someone because of fear of that someone's reactions. I don't live that way anymore. If you feel not to say something because someone may disagree with you, get this ~ It's NOT PERSONAL! (or, hire me to help you get over it)
~ Revvell ~
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