title

I've made it to day 6!!
I was ok yesterday I made another big salad and ate from it all day. I made my own dressing. I used vinegar. I don't know if it is raw..I haven't heard of people using it or just haven't noticed yet. I experimented with soaking cashews, almonds, goji berries and blending in my majic bullet. I made a very yummy dressing. Salad was chopped red & yellow onions, chopped radishes, chopped celery, chopped ginger, chopped cilantro, added some spicey sprouts, pine nuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, flax seeds. It was a very big salad and very delicious.I ate two big bowls. Desert was sliced bannana, goji berries, rasins, sliced almonds with agave syrup and I poured the rest of the blended cashews, goji mix just added water. It was quite yummy also. I ate from that all day. Today I feel ok. I have a headache. I still feel little energy, I know being off my thyroid meds is playing a big role in my feeling so lazy, but I think I feel mentally more alert. I feel proud to have made it this far. Granted I haven't left the house so the real test will be when I actually go out. I haven't told my best friend about all this and I'm afraid she is not going to take to it very well. We are "eating buddies". We love to go out to eat all the time. I don't think she is going to be happy. This is a big problem for me. I don't like to dissappoint people and that is why I always go along. I do what I don't want to do because I don't want dissapproval. I don't want her to not want to be around me because I'm not fun anymore. I end up caving in to what others want of me. I end up angry at myself. I struggle with myself all the time. I would prefer to dissppoint myself than others. I need validation from others so much I don't know why. That is the missing piece of my puzzle. I'm sure that is why I am a compulsive eater and I am sure that is why I have such low self opinion. I project what I feel about myself then I am hurt that people have that opinion of me. This journal is great therapy for me. Putting it all out there is therapy. Seeing it in writing perhaps I will be able to spot something that turns a light on. They say that when you write your brain will spill out things that are stuck inside and are hard to verbalize.I don't know. I just know that for today I am grateful to have made it this far and with Gods help and this board with all the wonderful people I will make it another day. ok..........I'm off to the kitchen.....