This has been, without a doubt, the worst year EVER!
Gosh, it's hard to know where to even start. This has truly and honestly been the absolute worst year I can remember EVER having, and I had some doozies in my childhood. This, however, puts them all to shame. I'm so SO incredibly ready to say goodbye to 2010.
Back in the fall my son's primary teacher quit before the end of the first marking period to take another job. That was devastating in and of itself because (a) we had chosen her as the best fit for my son's personality and (b) her replacement was HORRIBLE.
Back in the winter my nephew was born and we were saddled with him for quite some time while the new mom got her act together. Having a newborn in the house was DRAINING. I love him dearly, don't get me wrong, but another child is simply not something I would choose for myself.
In the spring my husband had a colon cancer scare; within the span of ONE WEEK my son had a concussion, was hit in the face with a baseball while pitching and was hit in the head with a baseball bat by another player; one of my son's karate teachers was killed in a HORRIFIC car accident and my son's secondary teacher (science & social studies) was hospitalized for some unknown degenerative disease that they have yet to correctly diagnose. She never returned to school and it is questionable whether she will return for the coming year.
Over easter break an old friend lost control of his motorcycle and drove off of an overpass in California.
Then, at the end of April I had to unexpectedly put my 5-yr. old soul cat, Riley, to sleep. Pets come and go and I love them all dearly but Riley was to me, the equivalent to finding your soul-mate. I held him in my arms as they injected him with the poison and he took his last breath. I was a useless mess for weeks. His best buddy, Scout (our other indoor cat) has been depressed since the day I came home from the vet without him. I've noticed some changes in her lately as well that are scaring me. She's going to need to go in for a check-up to put my mind at ease.
The day before his 5th grade graduation in June a girl in my son's secondary class was struck and killed by a car 3 houses down from our neighborhood. Less than a month later a boy who he absolutely loved and admired in both baseball and karate who was also the 13 yr. old brother of one of his long-time friends was killed in a 4-wheeling accident while on vacation with his grandparents.
A few weeks ago I finally got my learner's permit. I am 31 yrs. old and my mother was killed in a car accident when I was 9 and then I was in a car accident with my family when I was 16. I have been terrified ever since to drive. Because my son is going to a private school with no bussing in the fall I had to do it. Ever since I got the permit though I have suffered from extreme insomnia (it's 4:30am right now and I've been up for 2 hrs. already) and terrible nightmares (waking up screaming, trying to escape from my bed etc.). I'm averaging about 3 hrs. of sleep a night and the nightmares are every single night. No matter what I do I can't seem to shake either of them.
And then on Friday my grandmother called me to say that my cousin, whom I was at one time very close to, had died of an overdose. What's worse, there's a strong possibility that she did it on purpose. She had a husband and two daughters; one who would be turning 12 in a couple of weeks and the other who is not yet 2.
I want this year to end. I want to see 2011 and for it to have more promise and love than this year has. My heart simply can't hold anymore pain. If nothing else though, this year has reminded me that life is TOO SHORT. Do the things you want to do NOW. Use the good china on your family - your children even - don't save it for a "special" occasion because every single day is special. Tomorrow may never come.
And, because this is my raw food blog I will say that I am continuing to stay raw. There have definitely been some days where I have spiraled into an abyss of cooked junk but I never failed to feel worse than I did before and I've always turned back to the raw within a day or two. A friend from my son's elementary school whose husband was just diagnosed with cancer for the second time in as many years has also decided to try raw for herself and her family, which is just fantastic.
I'm hoping to be back to hanging around here a bit more. I need some positive energy and inspiration in my life right now.