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A Little of This; A Little of That

Imposing Your "Want" on Another

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.
9 Comments
by
Revvell
on 06-20-2010 at 01:22 PM (2088 Views)
As I'm re-reading "The Four Agreements ~ A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom", I got to the "it's not personal" section and he said (paraphrasing) how people impose their own world on yours. What I see is, people impose their "wants" and/or "needs" on others.

For instance, they may ask you a question about yourself. If you answer incorrectly, in their eyes, then you've lost something in their eyes. They WANT you to be the way they imagine you to be and if you're not, then you're not fulfilling how they WANT you to be in order to be "right".


They may be very religious and, perceiving you to be so because it seems you've got a great connection, and you say, no, I'm an atheist or I'm agnostic, or I'm not Christian, then, you've become smaller to them and possibly, even invisible.


If they perceive you to be ANY certain way and find out you're not, they become disillusioned, not realizing it's THEIR perception that is inaccurate, not you!
I've experienced myself with someone saying "... that's why I like you" when I've responded to a certain question; then they go one with what THEY understood me to say and it's not at all what I said.... OR, it IS what I've said and I feel I have to stay that way or, keep doing whatever it is, so they'll continue to like me ~ which can be very tiring because someone I may like, may not like me unless I do what THEY like! Can you see the debilitating cycle?


The best thing I've found (and, continue to find) is to be as honest as I can with me first ("be impeccable with my word"), then, if someone likes who I am, what I do, what I say (and, how I say it)... we'll connect. If they don't like all the above, then we wont.


Enough for now ~


Revvell


Bodacious Living
Categories
‎ Self-Esteem & Self-Empowerment

Comments

  1. RawKnitster's Avatar
    "The Four Agreements" - that is a new one for me. I had to google it. I'm interested in reading more about it.

    I agree that we won't be the victim of needless suffering if we don't take anything personally. I have been there many times and get upset with myself for caring what others think and say. Sometimes it is months or years after the fact and I still have trouble with it.

    It reminds me of Meg Ryan's line in "You've Got Mail" when she tells Tom Hanks something along the lines of "Whatever we do it should begin by being personal." I suppose that is the way it would be in an ideal world where we didn't pass judgement on each other for being different.
  2. Revvell's Avatar
    I think if/when you read the book you'll find that he talks just about what you said in your 3rd paragraph. It begins with "Be Impeccable With Your Word" meaning, we don't down talk others or, OURSELVES! .... YET, not taking it personally, even if people down-talk us, it wont matter because WE first don't down-talk ourselves, so, no matter what others say, doesn't matter. It's THEIR stuff, no matter how personal it may seem.

    I'm thinking about doing a book study on my site about this book. I've read it before and am now rereading and studying it and gaining new meaning from his words. VERY simple way to live yet, tremendously powerful.




    Quote Originally Posted by RawKnitster
    "The Four Agreements" - that is a new one for me. I had to google it. I'm interested in reading more about it.

    I agree that we won't be the victim of needless suffering if we don't take anything personally. I have been there many times and get upset with myself for caring what others think and say. Sometimes it is months or years after the fact and I still have trouble with it.

    It reminds me of Meg Ryan's line in "You've Got Mail" when she tells Tom Hanks something along the lines of "Whatever we do it should begin by being personal." I suppose that is the way it would be in an ideal world where we didn't pass judgment on each other for being different.
  3. snoops's Avatar
    I would join that group because I already have the book - just haven't read it yet!
  4. Revvell's Avatar
    I'm still waiting for mine.

    Martine was planning on starting yesterday. I asked if she'd wait until maybe the first week of July so everyone has time to get their books and begin reading. So, join us if you wish! It's all online (unless she chooses to do a call now and then) so, you can check in whenever you wish.

    Quote Originally Posted by snoops
    I would join that group because I already have the book - just haven't read it yet!
  5. Revvell's Avatar
    Oh! You mean The Four Agreements? Obviously I do have that one. Going to let Martine get hers going on "You Can Heal Your Life", then get mine going on The Four Agreements. It's fascinating how much more I'm learning rereading it. So much I want to share with others and see what they're getting from it.

    Quote Originally Posted by snoops
    I would join that group because I already have the book - just haven't read it yet!
  6. snoops's Avatar
    Yeah, I meant the 4 Agreements!! I have wanted to read it, even bought it so maybe now is the time. Or when you start up on BL with it. I will join in.
  7. Revvell's Avatar
    Okie, dokie. We'll test drive "You Can Heal Your Life" and see how that goes and then start up 4 Agreements. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by snoops
    Yeah, I meant the 4 Agreements!! I have wanted to read it, even bought it so maybe now is the time. Or when you start up on BL with it. I will join in.
  8. RawHealthyBeauty's Avatar
    Hey Revvell, would it be okay if I could join the group for "You Can Heal Your Life" book. The thought of you reading Louise L. Haye made me go see if I had the book in my library. I do have it. Just haven't read this one yet! I love Louise L. Haye. Her books have really given me such a positive outlook on life!! If it's alright, where can I join up?
  9. Revvell's Avatar
    Absolutely! Go to the site; register (all free), then go to "Members" at the top. Scroll down to "Groups" and click on that. There's only one group now and that's it! See you there.


    Quote Originally Posted by whoa-raw
    Hey Revvell, would it be okay if I could join the group for "You Can Heal Your Life" book. The thought of you reading Louise L. Haye made me go see if I had the book in my library. I do have it. Just haven't read this one yet! I love Louise L. Haye. Her books have really given me such a positive outlook on life!! If it's alright, where can I join up?


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