A Little of This; A Little of That
on 06-20-2010 at 01:22 PM (2088 Views)
As I'm re-reading "The Four Agreements ~ A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom", I got to the "it's not personal" section and he said (paraphrasing) how people impose their own world on yours. What I see is, people impose their "wants" and/or "needs" on others.
For instance, they may ask you a question about yourself. If you answer incorrectly, in their eyes, then you've lost something in their eyes. They WANT you to be the way they imagine you to be and if you're not, then you're not fulfilling how they WANT you to be in order to be "right".
They may be very religious and, perceiving you to be so because it seems you've got a great connection, and you say, no, I'm an atheist or I'm agnostic, or I'm not Christian, then, you've become smaller to them and possibly, even invisible.
If they perceive you to be ANY certain way and find out you're not, they become disillusioned, not realizing it's THEIR perception that is inaccurate, not you!
I've experienced myself with someone saying "... that's why I like you" when I've responded to a certain question; then they go one with what THEY understood me to say and it's not at all what I said.... OR, it IS what I've said and I feel I have to stay that way or, keep doing whatever it is, so they'll continue to like me ~ which can be very tiring because someone I may like, may not like me unless I do what THEY like! Can you see the debilitating cycle?
The best thing I've found (and, continue to find) is to be as honest as I can with me first ("be impeccable with my word"), then, if someone likes who I am, what I do, what I say (and, how I say it)... we'll connect. If they don't like all the above, then we wont.
Enough for now ~
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