2-27 Evening Thoughts
I've been thinking a lot tonight about my raw journey and what I am going to wake up doing tomorrow. How things are going to be much, much different this week and for the rest of my life. :) I do this. I think things through trying to understand my own actions and those of my loving family around me.
1st: I'm going to allow myself to enjoy eating raw again. For the first 8 months of eating raw, I loved the food! Loved it. Loved how I felt, really loved how I began to look. I was finally the me I always felt I was inside. Energetic and outgoing...loving living.
Then out of no where, I began to get angry that I couldn't eat what everyone else got to eat. Then I told myself, why couldn't I in moderation. Only to fall so far off the wagon that it was an uphill battle to come back.
I've gained most of my weight back...and I'm back to drinking coffee twice a day for the energy to get through the day.
So. I am coming back and I'm going to come at things from a fresh perspective. One of the things I can eat. The things that help me thrive. Who cares what everyone else eats...it's simply not for me. ;)
Secondly. My family hates me eating raw because of this feeling of exclusion. I project this, not them. I know for a fact if I were thrilled with what I was eating...they wouldn't care. I lived through that perspective at the beginning. They only turned against raw when I became discontent. They don't want to change what they are eating. They don't want to feel bad about their choices or like they are leading me astray. It makes them in turn feel bad when they eat. I need to stop doing that to them. I'm going to stop. Because I'm going to allow myself to enjoy raw again.
I'm getting a vitamix and dehydrator. I think the dehydrator will come first.
I'm going to make my happiness a priority again. I'm going to make my health a priority again. Tomorrow starts a new day.
PS finished this one with a green smoothie.