A Little of This; A Little of That
on 01-02-2010 at 07:25 AM (1387 Views)
I awakened this morning contemplating weight gain. How fun is that? lol
There are a few ways and reasons I gained in the first place.
First was possibly menopause yet, I'm not sure of that one. I hadn't gained before I got married at 55 and I'd gone into it a few years before OR, maybe I just didn't notice which we'll get into in a bit ~ the noticing, I mean.
One thing I'm sure of is going out and eating. Once I realized how much I'd gained since getting married (we could blame the marriage yet, that would be the surface, same as most dieters do ~ blame the food), being me, I had to really look at my habits, my new cravings and my emotional eating patterns.
What happened was, 6 years or so ago, I met a man I wanted in my life forever. I'd ALWAYS said, I saw no purpose in ever getting married and, that was true, until we met.
After knowing him for about 10 months or so, I was headed over to his home country to meet his friends and family as well as visit his country.
A few weeks before going over, he told me that he'd called the embassy about how he could come to the U.S. and stay with me. Their response "Marry her". When he told me this, I asked "Well, do you want to?" He said "what"? Me ~ "Get married?". I think he said something like "well, I guess so". Anyway, he started the paperwork on his end with the outcome being we'd get married in Denmark, then go to Copenhagen where I had to file to get him over here.
So, that's the background story ~ now, the fat part.
In all my life I'd never been in a REALY healthy relationship. Every relationship I'd been in, I gave up me to be with he meaning none of what I did was as important as what he was doing so, I'd always get involved.
This relationship began similarly. First, I dropped my healthy eating habits. I still stayed vegetarian yet, when we went out to eat, which was often, I'd eat things I normally wouldn't and I'd overeat. If/when we go to buffets, I felt I had to eat enough to get his money's worth. Even when full, I'd finish because I didn't want to leave food I'd chosen, on the plate AND, I'd always have dessert. Not much but SOME!
Secondly, even when we went out to a sit-down meal and was given more than I could eat, I'd finish it because "it's only a few bites" ~ no matter how full I was.. "it's only a few bites". Well, those "few bites" cost in weight gain. If we'd only gone out occasionally, there probably would not have been an issue. Since we went out often...
Thirdly, I use to get up and out walking every morning, first thing. Did not turn on the computer, did not eat, did not do anything but get up, get out and get walking! Where I lived, there was a mountain "loop" where I could go up one side, down the other. It's about 4.5 miles. When I didn't do that, I lived in a hilly area and could do a different walk almost every day of the week.
After getting married I loved sleeping in and cuddling with him. I vowed I'd get out and walk later. Well, "later" rarely came. In the summer it was too hot. If I didn't get out early, I didn't get out.
One night in class my teacher said 4 of us, including himself were overweight. I was one. When he asked how much I thought I could lose I said "about 20 pounds". He said "try 25". Yikes!!!! (He was being generous. It was actually 30).
One thing I really got was how easy it is to gain and not notice! Previously it was SO easy for me to drop weight. So easy in fact that, I'd not notice until someone pointed it out to me (which is the same thing that happened with the gain). At that time, when I was emotional about something (which was often), I'd not eat, therefore, weight loss! Now, when I'm upset, I've developed patterns of eating and overeating; comfort and habitual eating.
If you do it slow enough, when you go clothes shopping and you've gone up a size, you can rationalize that it's a different manufacturer and their sizes run small.
So, between eating out often, eating and overeating for emotional reasons, cleaning my plate and not moving ~ as I use to ... weight happened.
Oh! the other thing is, as I'd mentioned, I'd not been in a really good relationship EVER! Think there might be some unconscious "protection" going on?
Tomorrow, we'll talk about weight elimination. In the meantime, feel free to check out my program and find out how to eliminate weight, stay on a healthy food program and drop the cravings, habits and and emotional eating patterns that lead to excess weight gain and sabotage your new year's resolutions.
Until tomorrow ~