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Well, I have been absent for awhile. I wrote an entry yesterday and when I went to save it, Poof! It was gone. Just like magic.

I have "fallen" off the wagon, so to speak. Over the weekend spent a lot of time outside getting the garden ready and whatnot, so that was nice, even though I didn't make it to the gym. I haven't been perfect with raw either. Not horrible in everyday foodsense, but not completely raw. I guess this is where my confession comes in... and I apologize ahead of time if it seems like a pity party, because I am just stating why I have come to the conclusion that I have come to.

It seems like a lot of time I set myself up to fail by choosing to do things for the wrong reasons or being too "strict". This doesn't include just my diet/exercise but also personal things at home. For example, I had a budget set up to get all our revolving debt paid off by the time I turned 30, while also putting money into savings. Well, needless to say, it went well for a few months and now it's not. Add things that come up since that's just the way life works... and it's a set-up for failure. But I feel guilty about it. After secretary's day when I had that little amount of crap at the pizza place, even though I did relatively well considering, I still felt GUILTY. I felt like crap mostly because I felt sick with guilt. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling guilty about things. If I want to have grilled or baked chicken every once in awhile with cooked green beans, I want to do that without feeling like a failure. If I want to have an ice cream once a month, I want to be able to do that without feeling like a failure. Not saying I am going to go hog wild and eat what I used to eat ALL THE TIME. It's not about that. But I am not going to beat myself up for going out to eat once a month either or have to justify my choices to anyone else but myself.

I am still going to check in and see how everyone is doing here and the successes that you are all having. I am still interested in recipes and different food. Who knows, maybe with the pressure off I will feel better in mind and spirit and actually eat better??? Time will tell. I just wanted to be honest with anyone who has been reading that at this point I have decided to not continue the challenge.

Good luck to you all!