Back on the bright side!
byon 05-02-2007 at 02:32 PM (335 Views)
Bon giorno eyeybody!!
Thanks to everyone who posted a comment on my blog for all your love and encouragement!!
You are awesome!! Its so great! I don't feel so allone on this journey anymore since I found this lovely forum!
And it helped me perfectly to get over days like yesterday:)
Today the world is so much brighter!
Its a new dawn Its a new day its a new life for me. AND I AM FEELING GOOD!"
(Anyone know this song?)
During the day I was thinking about that last day(right now I try allways to get aware of all my feelings (negative or positive), mood and how I feel in general just that I don't start to panic about my depressions or whatever... and just to avoid to fell off.
And I just thought: My God, it was SO WORTH it to stick to it and keep going!! I think each time I go through a down( and really GO THROUGH it and not stop in the middle at its lowest point and stay there ;) ) I get stronger and stronger! And each time I gain more and more skills to get over it!!! I imagined what this day today would have been if I had eaten crap
TERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! REALLY!! Just imagine: Riot in my whole body, not able to enjoy ANYTHING EXEPT FOOD(aka crap), sweating coz hiding myself in to warm clothes, hating myself and everyone else, anger and regrett in my mind, not wanting to have any social contact to anyone for weeks, doing myself several kind of harm, then feeling sorry for myself and comforting myself with more crap and then BACK TO ZERO OR EVEN LOWER AGAIN! (And because of that I would definitely have not gone to London in about three weeks(as I planned)
Yay!! Wasnt it a clever victory to stick to it??? I AM MY OWN HERO TODAY!!! ;) LORD!!!! When I read that above, I ask myself if I am possibly not quite right in my head to even think about jumping off this WONDERFULL LIFE I have right now! I mean... what does it help to give up..? What can I do about ONE SINGLE day feeling bad?? Gouing backwards?? Thats just so stupid!! Its so easy coz there is ONLY ONE SOLUTION... THE SAME WHERE I STAND RIGHT NOW... AND THIS DIRECTION IS FOOOOORWARD!!!!
Next down will be easier to pass through and so on and so on
Well enough of that:
My energy came back today! I dont feel perfect now, but not THAT low AND most important: Not worrieng all day long about whatever... (actually I dont even remember what it was cant have been too important )
My skin is veeeeeery dry... I guess I took too many long baths the past week I will jump into the shower and then "bath in oliveoil"
And then head on to bed!
Coz I am soooooooo tired
Have a blessed day everyone!! Kisses, Besos, Bacci, Baizes, Puss Puss, Kussi, honihoni