A Little of This; A Little of That
This morning while in the shower I was thinking what I'm going to be talking to my students about in the "Tap Into Your Ideal Weight" classes and BAM!!!! another awareness.
If you've read my previous AHA moment post, I'd become aware of how, when Himself leaves in the evening I had thought I overate because of loneliness yet realized it was more a case of being free! (as though he'd been depriving me of eating in some way ). Well, this morning, in the shower, I realized waaaaay back when I was a kid, when my mother would leave, I'd go into the cupboards and eat stuff she'd NEVER let me eat (and with good reason, too). For instance, brown sugar. I remember sitting on the kitchen counter with the box of brown sugar in my lap and a spoon. I wonder if she ever wondered where that sugar went?
I remember as a teen, when I would babysit, I'd go through the family's cupboards (told me to eat whatever I wanted) and be digging into the sugared cereal. Also, having babysitting money, I would go to Woolworth's (anyone remember them?) and drink ice cream floats. Something my mother would NEVER let me have!!!
So, I ate for deprivation (in my mind), cravings and certainly rebellion. This also brought to mind that I don't remember us having bowls of fruit at home either so, my tapping was on "Even though I crave sugar, I choose to eat raw fruit to satisfy the cravings". Also doing some on rebellion and deprivation. Coming from reality, I am certainly not deprived of fruit; I have NO reason to rebel and can (and do) handle sugar cravings with fruit. YET, as one blogger here said, things that happened in childhood, we carry through our lives ~ however unknowingly.
Something else that came up for me when showering but can't remember now. Maybe I'll add it later if I 'member.