byon 07-09-2009 at 12:55 PM (1140 Views)
This morning my alarm went off and I immediately thought of a million excuses for why I could stay in bed and skip yoga..."I went to bed late, I'm tired, I went every other day this week, maybe I need a break, I could go later, etc." Luckily my wonderfully supportive husband said to me "just go, you'll be glad you did." That was just what I needed to hear to get my butt in gear and get to class.
I think part of the reason I was hesitant is because I'm frustrated with my weight. I've been stuck at 121.4 for a week now, and there is a part of me that swears if I see that number one more time I think I might go nuts! I want so badly to break the 120 mark. Rather than listening to the discouraging thoughts in my head, I'm trying to ask myself this question throughout the day: "what can I do right now that will help me achieve my goal?"
One of the big things I'm going to do is to be perfectly honest with myself and quit hiding behind excuses. Sometimes when I'm feeling fat or bloated, I make excuses for not doing the things that I normally do. For instance with yoga, this morning I was frustrated with my weight so I didn't want to go to class because I would have to face myself. Or, when I'm feeling confident I like to be in the front of the room during class, but if I'm feeling fat I will stand in the back of the room to hide myself. When I'm in the back I do everything half way and miss out on the opportunity to learn & grow, so I am really cheating myself out of my full potential.
I also hide myself when I'm afraid of what others will think of me. For example on Tuesday I was going to go mountain biking with three other women, but I was afraid I wasn't going to be as good as them. In my head I heard them say things like "she's so slow, I don't want to wait for her, why did she even come, if she lost weight she wouldn't be so out of breath, etc." Instead of facing my fears and just going and having a great time, I made up an excuse about having to stay at work in order to not go. It sounds so dumb when I write it out here an confront it because I know that I could have been the best one there or the worst one there and it wouldn't have mattered one bit! The point of riding together wasn't to judge each others abilities, it was about having fun together. I missed out on that opportunity to bond with three wonderful women and to overcome a fear that I made up in my mind.
My commitment for this next week is to take a deeper look at myself, to notice when I'm afraid, and then to take action anyway! Today I have a chance to go biking with those same women and even though my fears are still there, I recognize that it's just an opportunity I have to be proud of myself for doing something that pushes my boundaries. I'm thinking about how great it will feel to recognize that I have more strength and courage than I give myself credit for if all I do is just put myself out there.
Try it with me! Do something today that you are afraid of and then tell us about it!