Anxiety and Depression are not my friend
Yesterday I was thinking - well I have no more immediate family left in my life. My dad is moving far away, my brother's life revolves around what ever women is in his life at the moment, and my sister is just another story in itself where those ties have been severed long ago. I can either continue to have anxiety attacks about it and be depressed or I can mourn my loss and move on. Hard decisions - both involve pain and suffering but atleast one has light at the end of the tunnel. This time I am fighting so hard not to become another number in the Prozac nation.
Dad is back from TX for a few days, weeks, months who knows..he is not saying and not talking to me. He has however packed up his birds and given them to my uncle to sell at the flea market. Now there are only a few of the large parrots left - who knows how long they have left there because the evil toad does not like cats or birds. I am not sure if the two cats that live at my dad's will be allowed to stay - evil toad seems to be convincing my dad to get rid of everything from his old life and start over new with only her in his life. I am wondering when I turned into a piece of trash so easily disgarded. All my life I have done everything for my parents, this would include working 2 jobs at once 13 hours a day for 4 years so they would not loss their home. This is just killing me
My body still says no to solids so I am still juicing and doing one smoothie a day. I have also managed to work out several times during the week. It has been cold and raining here over the past week which doesnt help.
I should hear back about the temp job later this week - the recruiter said all of my things came back really good. Keeping my fingers crossed that is soon.