About 6 months ago, I started feeling uncomfortable about my living situation and career. I've tried all manner of tweaks and twists and turns trying to make them better or happier, but I've not been successful. At this point in my life, I am pretty good at figuring out what doesn't work, it's finding what works that is tough
I still don't have the big answers, but I've figured out a MAJOR underlying issue for both: my life is too crowded with material things and emotional things, if that makes sense. Before I left on my trip, I started Spring cleaning my apartment, but this evening I realized I still have too much 'stuff.' It's cheap stuff, old stuff, dusty stuff. I just have this strong desire for simplicity in my physical surroundings as well as in my emotional/career/lifestyle.
I don't want knick knacks or emotional ties to people and things that are old and have lost their meaning. I want to get rid of that. I want to see space on the walls, lots of rug and floor...I want room to breathe.
I realized this evening these feelings of frustration in my physical surroundings and inside myself are all related. This is a deep need to let go, clean out, remove, in all aspects of my life, the material and the emotional....I don't know why and I usually don't operate unless I know why. This time, however, I am letting myself go through this process with such freedom and it kind of scares me!
But I think I am finally getting in touch with something very real. Maybe that's possible now because I'm not surrounded by so much stuff?