by
on 04-04-2009 at 12:14 AM (369 Views)
I don't know even know what to say or where to begin. I guess I am depressed. Things are getting scarier. We are going to have to file bankruptcy and in the meantime we need to merge our 2 properties together and pay the property taxes along with regular taxes. However, where we come up with the money I have no idea.
No surprise that my issue with weight gain has been going on and I'm sure this has alot to do with it. I am eating and eating at my feelings to where I am not really in touch with my feelings very well. I keep wanting to do a fast and not eat........my digestive system would love that but, the more I think of it the more I eat.
I need to get a routine back into my life. I do much better when I have a routine starting my day and that has a taking a back seat or fallen to the wayside.
So, that said. I am trying to get back in gear with working out in the morning, connecting with spirit, and doing affirmations. Spending more time with the horses, etc.
Yesterday, I started doing good with food. I had a breakfast smoothie and then a nice salad later but, when I got home I ended up eating alot of pumpkin seeds.
I woke up full and bloated. So, I probably could've done a fast today but,I ended up cutting up a cantelope and honeydew melon.
I ate the cantelope (a small one) and some of the honeydew.
Then I cracked open 2 coconuts and drank a little water and a few bites of meat. I got an incredibly aching stomach. OMG! I was so uncomfortable.
So, I was going down the hill to meet a client and I made a GS. It made 2 big glasses.
I took one and drank it on the way down and put the other in the fridge. I did okay but, I ate sunflower seeds on the way back. I kept trying to decide if I was going to eat the left over salad from yesterday or my GS. I really wanted to do the GS but, I have NO Discipline right now.
I got the salad and added some more green leafs and broccoli to it. That was good.......really full but, I had to eat a small portion of the ice cream I made the other day. (cashews/water/agave/strawberries/bananas) and a 1/2 larabar.
So, I ate a 1/2 grapefruit to wash it all down with.
I need help!