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Jenifae's Raw Journey

I'm Struggling.........

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5 Comments
by
Jenifae
on 04-04-2009 at 12:14 AM (369 Views)
I don't know even know what to say or where to begin. I guess I am depressed. Things are getting scarier. We are going to have to file bankruptcy and in the meantime we need to merge our 2 properties together and pay the property taxes along with regular taxes. However, where we come up with the money I have no idea.

No surprise that my issue with weight gain has been going on and I'm sure this has alot to do with it. I am eating and eating at my feelings to where I am not really in touch with my feelings very well. I keep wanting to do a fast and not eat........my digestive system would love that but, the more I think of it the more I eat.

I need to get a routine back into my life. I do much better when I have a routine starting my day and that has a taking a back seat or fallen to the wayside.

So, that said. I am trying to get back in gear with working out in the morning, connecting with spirit, and doing affirmations. Spending more time with the horses, etc.

Yesterday, I started doing good with food. I had a breakfast smoothie and then a nice salad later but, when I got home I ended up eating alot of pumpkin seeds.

I woke up full and bloated. So, I probably could've done a fast today but,I ended up cutting up a cantelope and honeydew melon.
I ate the cantelope (a small one) and some of the honeydew. Then I cracked open 2 coconuts and drank a little water and a few bites of meat. I got an incredibly aching stomach. OMG! I was so uncomfortable.

So, I was going down the hill to meet a client and I made a GS. It made 2 big glasses.
I took one and drank it on the way down and put the other in the fridge. I did okay but, I ate sunflower seeds on the way back. I kept trying to decide if I was going to eat the left over salad from yesterday or my GS. I really wanted to do the GS but, I have NO Discipline right now.
I got the salad and added some more green leafs and broccoli to it. That was good.......really full but, I had to eat a small portion of the ice cream I made the other day. (cashews/water/agave/strawberries/bananas) and a 1/2 larabar.

So, I ate a 1/2 grapefruit to wash it all down with.

I need help!

Updated 04-04-2009 at 12:26 AM by Jenifae

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Comments

  1. RawKnitster's Avatar
    OMG! I hit on the same conclusion today. Having to struggle with financial worries has a huge affect on my eating. After adding up all the bills that have to be paid this month and not knowing how that would happen, I found myself back in the kitchen searching for something to put in my mouth. It was a scary feeling, like I was out of control. I ate lunch standing at the kitchen counter, mindlessly going through the chewing motions. I know it was delicious, but I hardly tasted it.

    What are we going to do, kiddo? I'm on the same track as you. We have got to get into a routine. I'm sure that will give us the strength we need to make it through what lies ahead, and the forward motion we need to make good things happen.

    Sending out a prayer for you....
  2. selina_k's Avatar
    Hugs!

    (You know when you write down everything you've eaten, it really doesn't sound like much. I know it's all relative to how you feel overfull. But when I read your posts I'm always struck by how many fresh vegetables you eat relative to most people. You eat so healthfully! You are healthy! Give yourself props!)
  3. Jenifae's Avatar
    Knitster Thanks for the Prayer and warm thoughts. Yea, funny how we just gravitate to the fridge when emotional, huh? Maybe, I can change that to gravitating to the barn. ;)

    Selina You are so Sweet! Thank you! :)
    You are so right........I need to give myself a break and be Loving to me right now.
  4. rawlight's Avatar
    This is such a stressful time that I wonder if it's really the amount of food, like Selina observed, or that you are having trouble digesting it as well? Are you taking enzymes? Maybe that would help.

    Hanging out with the horses as much as you can sounds like such a healing thing to do. Their needs and what you can do for them (and what they selflessly do for you) might take you away from the financial stuff.

    Just givin' you hugs Jenifae.
  5. Jenifae's Avatar
    Hey Rawlight,

    Thanks for the Hugs! :) I have been or was eating more then I normally do but, I'm sure I"m not digesting as well. I so appreciate everyone's support. :)

    I Love Ya'll


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