Azanthia

Today is the first day of my raw journey.

I feel a great sense of 'coming home' in this. Odd, as I have never been raw- not even close- and have suffered (or come close to suffering) all the ill health associated with poor diet. Pre-diabetic, PCOS, overweight, candida, tired all the time, poor body image, high cholesterol, etc.

But all these years of living this way, I've felt that there is a different person inside of me, and part of that involved being raw as a first step. Every time I would see mention of raw online or in print, my heart would wake up and jump in my chest. I never heeded it however, quickly coming up with a list of reasons why this wouldn't work for me- too restrictive, I love to cook, I love to entertain (we throw dinner parties all the time), and I just love all food!

I feel as if I have reached a crossroads in my life, however, where I now need to choose what my future will consist of. Do I want to continue being overweight, accept my lack of fertility as part of the PCOS, have heart disease like my mother- perhaps fighting cancer as she has done? Or do I want a new future, filled with health and vitality, a lean, fit body, the possibility of having children and increased resistance to disease?

I choose the latter, thank you.

There are obstacles- I will need to redefine myself as a person, as a friend and possibly as a partner. My social interaction will need to revolve less around the lavish dinner parties we throw. Thinking of myself as someone who loves to cook is a definition that will need to be reworked. I will also have to deal with a partner with moderate diet restrictions and no desire to go raw (at least not yet!). And of course, perhaps the largest obstacle, will be to overcome an inner rigidity that tends to show up and digs its heels in just as I begin to make changes.

I have spent the past week reading your journals here in this forum and I can finally say with confidence: the change is worth the fight.

Thank you to all of you for being so inspiring.