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goobygirl

21 days in on 30 Day Program

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4 Comments
by
goobygirl
on 11-22-2008 at 01:41 AM (719 Views)
This week has been harder with staying raw all day. I'm not sure why this is, mostly I'm still not satisfied with my dinner meal. I made an eggplant chili that was pretty good and had that a few nights, but then didn't plan anything else. And when dinner started coming around, I was bored, and didn't want was there. I love my green smoothies, love salads, just feeling a bit burnt out on those things.

I'm going to hunt down some more recipes to support my goal of staying raw that last 10 days. It has been helpful staying raw, number one, I've proven to myself I can do it.

I haven't had any other great revelations from it, or side effects, other than losing weight and inches. I mean I was hoping for more energy and ability to sleep better. I was hoping that I'd feel vitalized, and I don't.

I think I am still in this grieving stage with my grandmother that makes it difficult to feel happy in general. Nearly every day I think I'm supposed to call her up, and then I remember, she's not around. Or that this year she won't be spending any holidays with us. that I don't get to buy her a gift.

Plus, my family in general is in distress for various reasons, and the whole holiday thing is going to hell in a handbasket. SO far, I've been not invited anywhere for Thanksgiving. My mom won't be doing one, and she said she's happy to stay home and watch tv.

I've not been invited anywhere for christmas, and so feel abandoned a bit.

My sleeping schedule totally sucks. I feel so wiped out this week. Was up to 4 or 5 am the other day struggling to sleep (i have a sleep disorder) and by the time I got up it was 12. I hate sleeping late and now with it being dark by 5, it leaves no real daytime.

Ok, I'm done complaining, but I just think there are a lot of factors that are making more difficult to keep me doing raw all the way because I'm upset a lot this week and feel, I guess, more uninterested in whether I make raw work for me this week. This week, I feel like it just doesn't matter as much as I thought it did.

SO, I'm going to get RE-ENERGIZED and pull out the stops for the rest of the month!
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Comments

  1. MelissaO's Avatar
    Sometimes the grieving process can take months to resolve, we each process things differently. You are not alone, my Mom passed in January of 2007 and I did many of things you are mentioning in your blog. I would think about calling her, I would pass things in a store that she would have liked and think what a great bday gift or holiday gift for her that would reduce me to tears. The first Thanksgiving and Xmas without her were painful. No one in my family wanted to do anything so I did the hosting. I put together a slide show of pictures and played it through dinner so Mom's memory/spirit could still be with us even though her physical presence was absent. People cope with things in different ways - maybe invite your Mom out for Thanksgiving dinner this year? For a natural sleep aide have you tried Valerian root? It take a few weeks to work to it's fullest potential but I have found that it works for me. Also working out will help with energy levels and sleeping.


    (((HUGS)))) to you.

    Melissa
  2. goobygirl's Avatar
    Thanks Melissa. I am limited on what I can take for sleeping due to a medical protocol I am on. I appreciate your thoughts. My family would not appreciate a slide show, that's part of my problem, that they just shove things under the rug.

    Honestly, the whole process has sucked. We had five hours of viewing at the funeral home, and the funeral the next day at 11 am. It was so fast, and people are not helpful.

    Since my grandma helped raise me, it ias though I lost a mother.

    I was thinking of going out to a salad bar for thanksgiving, and at least have some healthy food.
  3. rawchic's Avatar
    Big hug to you! Hang in there. You are strong and you will get through this :)
  4. RawKnitster's Avatar
    Considering the emotions you are going through, you are doing amazingly well. It's a long process, but you and your Mom will get through it. She must be greiving a great deal, too. If nothing else, how about just spending the day with her? You don't have to answer that, it's just a thought.

    This will be the third holiday season without my Mom. My Grandma doesn't know who I am. It's up to me now to make the holidays special for those of us that are left. I have two extra relatives coming for dinner on Thanksgiving. They mentioned they had nowhere to go, so I invited them to join our little gathering. How about taking a risk and putting yourself out there. Let someone know and you might find yourself invited.

    Best wishes on finding or making some new holiday traditions, if not this year, then next year. :)


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