Eva has no idea how to post a new entry.

I've been down this road before and can't believe I'm doing it again. Ugh. I think it's because I have friggin' five pounds of cacao sitting in my cabinet. For several days, I have been eating the stuff. It started with a simple recipe that is VERY tasty (the Nestle Crunch) and ended with me losing sleep. I'm now WIDE awake after 1 am. The last few nights, I couldn't sleep until morning when the sun came up.

I have not had a belly pooch since soon after I went raw -- except on the rare occasion that I chose to have cooked food. Then, I knew it was my fault that my body wanted to protect itself AND couldn't eliminate as much. But now? I haven't had a morsel of anything that I wasn't sure was raw (except maybe some vanilla beans and spices)... yet I have had a pooch for a few days. It's really annoying. I realize that is small beans compared to others' issues, but geez! It's still frustrating. My vanity? No big thing. But my health -- that's HUGE. And I don't like this affecting my health. It's clear to me that my body wants to protect me and is holding on to the belly layer to do so.

And I'm tired and not quite clear. It's the sort of day that I would (almost) love to reach for the Ritalin that used to be my twice-daily dose.

I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson already. And I REALLY don't know why there are people who both promote health AND promote daily doses of a stimulant with addictive substances that break the blood-brain barrier. That's lame. I think this is why it affects my ADHD symptoms, but this is not good for even people who think it's not causing problems. It must be doing something that they don't even realize, right? Or maybe they have a superhuman protection from it -- and I don't!

Anyways, I did a search, and I found this articleAll about Caffeine I found the same type of information when I did a search for Theobromine (the other addictive substance in cacao).

I also found new info in Storm's blog. I'm bolding the ones that have already been a problem in less than a week's time. I am actually starting to feel bad, like I did pre-raw!
The Garden Diet -- Storm's Blog
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Blogdate 8/31/08

20 Ways to tell if you are addicted to raw cacao:

1. You have raw cacao every day, sometimes more than once.
2. You blog and twitter about raw cacao daily. --Oh my! I'm here blogging about it!--
3. You think you aren't addicted but you can't stop eating it because it gives you energy.
4. On days when you don't have raw cacao, you feel tired and lethargic.
5. On days when you don't have raw cacao, you feel foggy-brained. --These apply after just a few hours, as it's leaving my system!--
6. You eat more and more raw cacao all the time.
7. After eating raw cacao you experience heart palpitations, increased heart rate or a pounding heart, and continue to eat it.
8. You can't sleep at night when you've eaten raw cacao that day.
9. You stay awake on raw cacao all night more than once a week.
10. You stay awake on raw cacao two or more nights in a row.
11. You feel dizzy after eating raw cacao, but continue to eat it.
12. You get [migraine] headaches from raw cacao, but continue to eat it. --They're not migraines, but I'm getting headaches!--
13. You will leave your house just to buy raw cacao. Um, I have 5 lbs. of it! But I would!
14. You eat raw cacao regularly and are gaining weight in tummy region for no good reason.
15. You eat raw cacao regularly and have lost interest in greens.
16. You kick raw cacao and then feel like its OK to eat it again.
17. You eat more than two tablespoons of raw cacao at one sitting.
18. You look depleted after eating raw cacao, and continue to eat it.
19. Your emotions become topsy turvy when you eat raw cacao, but you don't stop.
20. You realize raw cacao is bad for your body, but feel that you should be allowed one addiction, if its raw. No way. The buck stops here. I don't need addiction in my life.

To understand addiction, check out this awesome HBO special website including excellent and inspiring videos by scientists....... Addiction is a chronic relapsing brain disease.
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Anyways, I'm just putting this out there. I don't know why.

I KNOW what I need to do! I like carob, but I don't reach for it in the same wildly addictive way as cacao. I don't need this nonsense! I like feeling wonderfully wonderful ALL the time (almost), thankya very much!

If you're out there reading this, I welcome feedback. I also welcome ideas on what to do with the 5 lbs. of cacao nibs that I now would like to be rid of. I would be willing to send it to someone, but I think the shipping would make it not too cost effective! If someone in Europe wants it, it might be better -- but I don't want to feel like a drug pusher! And I don't want to pay for the shipping!

Ah, I'm going to a raw potluck on Saturday. Maybe I'll bring it with me and give it away if someone wants it. Hmmm, that's an idea!